29 years old means only 1 more year til 30! Love you!!!!!!

And on a lighter note... the kids and I had so much fun getting the house ready for Ben's little surprise bday party. We made the cake, decorated, got party hats and pin the tail on the donkey. When he got home from work, we jumped out and said "Surprise!" We then ate cake for dinner and he opened his gifts! The funniest was watching Sam try to pin the tail on the donkey and watching Kit DEVOUR his cake! He was covered in icing! Tomorrow is Bens real bday but it was fun to make the party tonight as a surprise after a hard weekend of work for him.

We went to the fair last night, which Sam has renamed Sam's playgound. They had live stock animals, pony rides, amusement rides, games and of course food. We got there early, so we were able to eat. (In my family, eating is ALWAYS a priority, lol!)

We bought Sam and me a wrist band so that we could go on all the kiddie rides together. Well the stupid ride people would not let me go on the rides with her! Granted I am big, but if I don't mind looking like an idiot, why should they care? And poor Sam was too afraid to stay on most the rides by herself. Luckily Sam made friends with a nice 6 year old girl named Francesca and they then went on most the rides together. And then our 7 year old neighbor and Sam's best friend, Morgan, showed up, so Sam was rearing to go on all the rides then! She was sooo cute as she would ride around on the cars and then boats and motorcyles. Kiddie rides are so cute!

Baby Kit was lauging and smiling so much as he watched his big sister went round and round. He really enjoys watching people. Ben decided that it would be easier to hold Kit instead of using the Baby Bjorn or stroller. I didn't say anything. By the end of the night Ben was complaining how heavy Kit is. I was like REALLY? LOL!

Sam got to ride a giant white pony and she was in heaven. We also checked out all the cows, sheep, goats and pigs. The kiddos really enjoy seeing the animals.

I attempted to go on a big kid ride where you lay flat and then the big wheel goes up and it is almost like hang gliding, but when the guy buckled me in, I felt claustrophobic and panicked. That has never happened to me before. I yelled for Ben to get the man to let me off. My heart was racing and I really thought I was losing my mind. It felt like I was in a coffin. I guess I don't like being restrained like that while on my belly. I laughed about it to Ben when I got off that I cried like a big baby before the ride even started, but I was really upset. It's not like I can't go on scarey rides - I still love rollercoasters, but this one freaked me out. I guess I'm not 17 and fearless anymore...

Ben's 29th bday is on Monday. So Sunday when Ben is at work, the kids and I are going to make a cake, decorate the house and have a little party for him when he gets home. Sam and I have been planning it all week. Sam keeps reminding me that we need party hats, lol. She is looking forward to helping me make the cake.

Kit has had a big week. He has stood for the first time, he in now crawling and today he sat up by himself for the first time. BIG BOY!!!!!!! I looked at Sam's baby book and she started doing those things also at around 8 mths and then she was walking by 9 mths. So, I think Kit may also be an early walked - oh no, lol! I think I'm busy now...hee, hee... And Kit is so much more nosey than Sam ever was. Even now, he gets into everything. We have lovingly nick-named him Dennis The Menace.

Next week we have Sam's open house for nursery school. I still can't quite believe she will be going. And on the potty front, Sam is 2 thumbs up. The only time she is in a pull up now is at night. WOO HOO SAM!!!!!!

On me - I am loving my little p/t job. Came home with $131.00 on Thurs. YIPEE! And 2 days a week is just right. The boss wants me to take another night, but I am sticking with two. I feel that 3 nights would just be taking too much time away from our family and I am not willing to do that. Sure, I'd love another night of dollars, but certain things, like my family, are beyond a price.

Thinking of my many family and friends who are ill, have sick loved ones, have kiddos starting school for the first time, are preggo and feeling yuck and keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

And on that note, I am off to play with the kiddos.

My Maw beat the crap out of me so I'm gonna beat the crap outta my kids. Dang, I turned out ok... WTF?

I am so sick of people trying to rationalize why it is ok that they can't control their own anger and try to convince others that it is for the best interest of the child when they smack them or worse. BULL SHIT. Unless you kid is about to walk into a highway of traffic - there is rarely a time that hitting is for the good of the kid. It is cause the parent is pissed off.

For me and Ben, hitting is NOT an option. But I know some parents do use an occasional smack on the bottom. If it works for them, I am not going to cast stones. But I can not think of any good reason to put hot sauce on your kid's tongue, wash their mouth out with soap, beat them with a belt, and WTF is up with beating kids w/ wooden spoons????? Please explain what that does for your kid?

Have there been times that I have been frustrated. You betcha. Have I had to give myself a time out to get myself together. Again, you betcha. Do I have all the answers, no freaking way. But I do try to come up with solutions that help me discipline when I have to and at the same time not crush my kid's spirits. My daughter is 2 and a half. She is supposed to be testing the limits. This is normal. It is my job to teach her what is acceptable, not beat the crap out of her and crush her spirit and self esteem. I want her to question the limits. I want her to be a thinker. And then there is my son, who is 8 mths today. What is there to discipline? He is a freaking baby. I am teaching him the word NO, but at 8 mths, he doesn't have the memory to really get it yet.

When you have had to watch your kid on life support, not sure if they were going to live, it reminds you how precious life is. For me, it reaffirmed even more that I would NEVER raise a hand to my kids. It's not that they don't drive me bonkers on occasion, but I THANK GOD EVERY DAY for them - even when they make me bonkers. I would die a million deaths before harming a hair on their head. And my husband feels the same way.

Parenting is hands on and requires a lot a patience and love. It is not for everybody. You know, to adopt a pet from the pound, you have to fill out an application and they often need referals and do backround checks. It's harder to adopt a pet than to be a parent. Isn't that ashame?

If you don't like what I am saying, then go beat yourself in the head with a wooden spoon until you forget or maybe some hot sauce in your eyes to blind you from my words... but this is my blog and this is my opinion.

was busy tonight, but I made $115.00! WOO HOO! It is easy though and everyone is nice. I do miss the kiddos a lot, but it is nice to get a break. They have asked me to work this Thurs. night too. And too boot, I had a few customers compliment me to the boss. I guess after years of restaurant management, I can still walk the walk as a server - only w. out the stress! lol!

Off to bed. Will try to blog more tomorrow!

So the past few nights the kids have both been getting up. I think Kit is teething and has a cough from swallowing too much saliva and his mind is on the go-go cause he just started crawling. He would get up and just not want to go back to sleep. And by the time he finally was sleep, Sam woke up from all the noise. She's never easy to get to sleep under the best of circumstances. So if I said that I have gotten 4 hours of sleep the past few nites - that would be looking on the bright side.

In light of my lack of sleep, I was on a mission last night. Both kids were going to sleep at a reasonable time and I was going to bed early. Kit acually went along with my plan and was soundly sleeping in his crib by 8 pm. Then there was Sam, who had other plans. She did not want to go to sleep. I should have just brought her up to her bed, but she can be so darned cute when she wants to stay up. So I was bad and let her fall alseep on the sofa with me. It must have been 10:30 pm when Ben carried her to her bed.

As the thunder storms started, Ben and I packed off to bed - even though I was very tempted to chat with my friends online - and we were tucked up by 11:15 pm. The thunder and lightening were quite grand but also noisy and woke up Kit. I went into Kit's room and brought him into bed and nursed him back to sleep. The thunder got so loud that it made me jump a few times, but neither of my guys noticed as they slept next to me. Both father and son slept on. I decided that Kit most of woke the first time cause he was hungry and that I was safe to bring him back to his crib. At this point it was around 11:45 pm.

The air conditioner had finally cooled the room down and the ceiling fan was gently circulating the air as I tucked up in bed with cool cotten sheets against my skin. I was nodding off when I heard the loudest crash of lightening I ever heard. In that split second, we lost all power. My air conditioner was no longer blowing nor can I feel cool air on my face and the entire house was filled with darkness.

Sam does not like the dark, so I was quick to make my way to a flash light. I went down stairs to grab two cell phones that we have that have flash lights in them. I put on of the lights in Sam's room and the other in the hall. As I crawled back onto bed, I felt the room get hotter as Ben snored away. After awhile Kit woke up cause he was hot and cranky. I nursed him again and then rocked him back to bed, which he slept for a whole 20 mins. We repeated this for about an hour. Suddenly I thought to cool him down by sponging him with a cool wash cloth. That made him very dozy and I was able to get him back to sleep for awhile.

By 2:00 am I called the electric company and was informed that they know of the problem but it was going to be awhile before we had power. It felt like my house got hotter as my blood pressure started to rise. Logically I knew that it was no one's fault - we lost power due to a storm - but it seemed unfair that this was the second time in two weeks that we were with out power for a significant time. Wasn't it someone else's turn???? I thought it wise to open all the windows hoping for a nice breeze that some time accompanies summer storms. No such luck, the air was stagnant, but I kept the windows open anyway.

Shortly after I got off the phone with the electric compnay. the baby woke again. This time there was no getting him back to sleep. I tried nursing, rocking, damp wash clothe...and everything I could think off and nothing worked. Luckily he wasn't screaming, just restless, so I let him go. He finally fell asleep by 3:00 am and I passed out - hot and sticky - yet Ben snored on! And luckily so did Samantha.

At 4:30 I woke again when the still, hot silence stirred with noise. To my delight, the power was back on. I got up and shut all the windows I had opened and quickly turned back on the air conditioners. I shut my eyes as fast as possible and went to sleep.

The kids decided that 6:30 am would be a great time to wake up, so here I sit again with a bad night's sleep. I am so insanely tired...I pray that the kiddos decide to take a nap at the same time so I can sneak one in too.

Kit also has been very clingy and want me to hold him ALL the time and then tries to crawl up me, so I took this moment while he's being distracted by Samantha to blog a bit. With being so freaking tired, I haven't had much time or energy to do anything just for me. It's been all about the kiddos and coffee and the kiddos and more coffee and the kiddos and even more coffee. Have I said how much I have been drinking coffee lately?

So the mantra for today is as follows... kids nap together, no more power loss, coffee. Can you say it wit mer? Kids nap together, no more power loss, coffee...

and have not blogged... I could list many excuses, but instead, I choose to just blog...

Started my p/t job last nite. Very nice people, easy work, friendly boss and decent money. I made 70 bucks for 4 hours worth of work. Yeay! I will be doing 1 day a week until Sept and then I will be doing 2. It was hard leaving the kiddos, but I knew they were in good hands. Once I got there though, it was nice just being Wendy for awhile and although I had responsibilites, there aren't really hard - especially after being mom 24/7 for the past 2.5 years. It was nice to be on my own for a little and even better to get paid for it!

Ben said the kids were fine until bed-time. After he put Sam to bed, he heard her get out and he found her in our bedroom, crying at our window, "Where's momma...come home momma..." And she refused to go back to bed. So Ben let her fall asleep on the sofa. So when I got home, I carried her up to bed and cuddled with her for awhile. Then Kit woke up and I got to nurse him. I was happy to get home and spend time with each of the kiddos.

On Sunday we went to Sheri's house and what a blast! Sheri and Don had so much yummy food - I don't think I stopped eating all day! Joanne & Frank were there with the kiddos too. We missed the rain, so we were able to swim. The kids all played SOOOO well with each other and it was nice to just hang out with the adults. :) Their house is beautiful. with a nice back yard and lovely neighbors (moo cows!). Sheri looks great and has lost a lot of weight and sent me home with many clothes that no longer fit her. I told her that I am bringing her whenever I have to go clothes shopping cause she finds really great stuff! Now my closest has lots of cool clothes in it instead of the usual crappy clothes - lol!

Kit fought me on getting to sleep tonight. So I had to let the poor thing CIO a little. I hated to do it, but nothing else was working. And there gets a point where they cry no matter what you do, I felt myself losing patience, so I figured if he's going to scream anyway, it may as well be in his bed. After 20 mins, he fell asleep. Does that make me a horrible mother?

And poor Sam lost out on her mommy time cause I was up and down with Kit so much before letting him CIO. So I let her fall asleep on my lap and now she is sleeping on the sofa.

I haven't been on the boards, IM, or anywhere. Just call me loser-head, but the time is just flying by and I can't seem to catch up and I am so gawd awful tired. More later as the saga I call my life goes on...

August 12th 2002 - to the ER with Sam cause she was sick and when we called the nurse, she thought Sam was having seizures...

August 12th 2003 - Sam had her accident and off the hospital for emergency surgery and then the PICU...

August 12th 2004 - Sam spiked a fever of 104 and started projectile vomiting. When we called the nurse, they thought she might be having an allergic reaction to the antiboitic she is on for a UTI, so once again to the ER...

Can I just skip August 12th next year please?

went great. The kids had a blast! But I think Ben and I had the most fun. It was really nice to be able to just celebrate Sam's life. Things almost fell apart beforehand though... The pony lady almost had to cancel and didn't tell me til Sunday. But luckily she didn't cancel.

We had great weather. The kiddos were so cute in their cowboy hats and running around with their hobbie horses. The real pony, Rosey, was really sweet and gentle. I didn't burn the cupcakes! The digital camera's batteries did die, but I had an instant camera, so photos will be coming soon.

Now all we have to get thru is tomorrow. I do feel like that with going to the hospital tomorrow and saying thank you to everyone, that hopefully we will be laying to rest a very hard chapter of our lives and maybe it won't keep haunting us so much. There are no words to decribe the horror of what happened... but on the same token, we have so much to be grateful for. I am hoping that this coming year, will be the year of gratefulness...the year to rejoice!

A friend of mine works are a very laid back restaurant and makes decent money. They are willing to hire for 1 or 2 nights and it looks like I may get to work Tues and Weds. nights for a few hours making between 50 and 100 dollars. Ben will be home with the kiddos both nights.

I am torn between being very excited and sad. I am excited cause it would be nice to bring in a little extra cash for Sam's nursery school and food shopping. And I am at the point where I wouldn't mind a few hours a week on my own doing un-mom things. But at the same time, I hate the idea of not being with the kids. For the past 2.5 years, I have spent almost every moment with my kids. I can't imagine not being the one to feed them dinner and putting them to bed at night. But I would be ok with it knowing that it was Ben here with them. And I would get home by 9:00 PM most nights.

We can also really use the money. And I'd be just me for a two nights a week... excited, sad, scared, happy, excited, sad, scared, happy, excited, sad, scared, happy, excited, sad, scared, happy....

I had some DEAD BEAT Ebayer win one of my auctions and now is refusing to pay cause she found it some where else cheaper and is being such a nasty bitch about it. If she had asked nicely from the get-go, I probably would have let her off the hook - no problem. But she has been a real A-hole from the start and now I'm going to F with her! I am SOOOO pissed.

And I am going to report her to Ebay after the initiatal 7 days and I am going to write some MEAN feedback. Grrrr....

Being this is the week of Sam's accident, I thought I'd post something that I jotted down one night before about a month before her accident followed by something I wrote a little over a month after her accident...

Before...

Samantha, age 16 mths.

When I put you down to sleep, most nights you cuddle blueberry and are off to sleep. But sometimes, you will cry and when I come to get you, I find you sitting in the middle of your crib, holding blueberry and sobbing. So I pick you up and bring you downstairs with me. I hold you on my lap and we cuddle as we watch TV together. As you get dozy, you start to babble softly and will pet me. I often will tickle you causing you to laugh so hard. It is so sweet. Then when you get really tired, you will lie on me and cuddle blueberry, chewing his tail. You already have chewed all the fur off his tail; you love to bite his tail. Well the other night, for the first time, you offered me blueberry's tail and would put it in my mouth waiting for me to bite it. You patted me with one hand and were putting blueberry's tail in my mouth as you gently fell asleep. It was the most endearing thing I've every witnessed.

Today you picked up my emery board and I went to get it because you usually try to eat it. Well today you didn't try to eat it. You sat down and started trying to file you toenails. It was so funny.

After...

9/23/03. It is way too late and I am very tired, but I can't sleep. Just found out today that Sam needs to go in for another surgery. Her airway is 50% blocked and the kids ENT wants to go in w/ a bronchoscope to see what is going on and to see if she can get rid of any of it. This means that Sam will be put back on a vent and probably paralyzed again. This thought makes me sick. I thought when she was extubated at LVH PICU that meant we were finished with the vents. Maybe I was foolishly idealistic, but I truly believed.

I sat tonight watching her for the longest time while she slept. Although her stridor is loud, she still slept peacefully. She has no idea what is going to happen to her on Weds and I have no way to explain it to her. I know I will find the strength to be what Sam and Ben need me to be, but right now I am feeling fragile. I just don't know if I can go thru this again. It took every bit of strength I had to make it thru her first hospitalization. I truly thought 19 days in PICU was enough. I was wrong. Every time I think we are almost in the clear, something happens to beat me down again.

Sam has been doing so much better at home. Her skin look great and most people can't believe when I tell them how she was burned. She has started walking again with real confidence and even started dancing and trying to jump. She talks a mile a minute (wonder where she gets that from?) and has been so happy. With being put back on the vent, she will once again regress. I just hope this time with it (hopefully) not being as long; she won't lose anything. Last time, Sam woke and didn't even have head control. She was like a 33lb newborn. She had to relearn everything…head control, turning over, sitting up, crawling, and walking. We have made such headway to be set back again. But I also know that she needs to have this done. Her airway will only get worse if it is not addressed and that is unacceptable. Perhaps that will be my strength. My baby needs to breath. This is necessary.

I just pray that this works and that reconstructive repair (that would involve her getting a trach) isn't needed. And vainly, I hope they don't mess up any of her teeth. (I was told today that sometimes that can happen and even though they are baby teeth, I don't want her to lose any yet.)

Well, I'm still not tired, but writing did help a bit, so I am going to try to get some sleep. Sam needs her mommy strong and Christopher needs me to keep myself together so he can continue to grow inside of me. God I hope Sam is better by the time he is born. I just want her to experience being a big sister with out any other crap.

Thursday, Ben got home on time and we left on time to meet my cousins at Knoebles. We made it to the bank and were on the highway rearing to go. There wasn't much traffic and we were cruising nicely. All of a sudden, we saw cars start to slow down and then stop. We figured that we would start moving again soon, but sat without moving for 20 mins. The kids woke up, but we remained hopeful that we would start moving soon. When traffic eventually started to go, we made it a whole 200 feet before we stopped again. I was the driver and I had enough time the second time we stopped to get out, get in the back and nurse Kit before we started moving again. This time we went maybe a half mile. Now several of us got out of our cars and started chatting. We met this nice trucker who CB-ed a friend who was further ahead. We had 4 more miles to get thru. What should have taken us about 1.5 hours ended up taking us 3 hours!

But we finally got there! Yipee!!!! When Sam realized where we were, she started shaking her hands, "Sam so excited! Look at the rides! Sam's rides!" We got everything together and were off! Once inside the park, we went to call my cousins and low and behold, no cell phone service! One of the first rides we saw was the Ferris Wheel, so we decided to go on as a family. Well, when we were at the top of the wheel, I got 4 bars. So I timed my call the second time around the wheel and as quickly as I could say, "We're here, but have no cell service...We are at the Ferris Wheel...," and we lost cell service again. My phone then rang and I saw it was my cousins number, but I had no signal strength to answer it.

We decided that we were going to wander to the kids area and see if we could find them. As it turned out, although it wasn't crowded, there were still LOTS of people and we realized that the chances of finding them were small. So we started taking Sam on kiddie rides.

Knoebles has one of the fastest wooden rollercoasters in the world and I REALLY wanted to go on it. I told Ben that if I could just ride it once, then he could make all the decisions for the rest of the day. He laughed. As we started walking toward it, Sam saw a big girl ride that she wanted to go on. It starts out going round but then gradually lifts up, almost like a Ferris Wheel, but you whip around to the side. She was tall enough, so Ben took her on. Poor thing buried her head in his lap, but she didn't cry. When she got off, we asked her if she was ok. (Looking back on it, we should have just said no.) She said the ride was too noisy and we needed to go on a quiet one. And then was leading us to the Merry-Go-Round. She is such an independant little thing.

We went in the haunted house as a family before heading back toward the Rollercoaster. The kids and I laughed the whole time, but Ben got startled at a few things! Too funny! Sam, Kit and Ben watched me when we finally made it to the Rollercoaster. OMG! It was sooooo fun. It went sooooo fast and had lots of drops. After Sam saw me when I was done, she said she was going on and started to march over to the line. This time we said no. Well don't you know, as we were getting ready to go back to the kiddie rides, we found my cousins! How lucky is that?

Their daughter, J, and Kit were fascinated with each other and sat face to face in their strollers for 10 minutes just poking at each other's faces. Too cute! We then went on a choo choo train together. My cousin's wife's family (got that?) was there too and between all of us, we filled half the train! After the train, we went on a balloon ride, that looked to be mild, but made me a Ben nauseas. I guess the spinning that doesn't bother you as a kid, does catch up to you....

Baby Kit decided that he wanted no more time in the stroller, so I put him in the Baby Bjorn. Well he started kicking his legs and screaming and yelling in delight. He was babbling to every person we passed. I wish I could have known what was going on in the little guy's mind!

Knoebles had boats that you can stear and they were a lot of fun. Sam and J were both himming and hawing as we waited in line. They are sooooo alike. Sam got to stear the boat and we crashed into the walls many, many times. The boat behind us, over took us and we roared laughing! That is not suppose to happen, but that's what we get when we let a 2 year old drive, LOL!

We ate and hung out. Sam was hand feeding J Dipping Dots. They were so funny. Then both girls were sticking their hands and eating the Dipping Dots together. Later, I was trying to discreetly change Sam's training pants, when she ran our for a moment, naked from the waist down! Everyone around laughed. It was a really nice day. The time flew. Before we knew it, the sun had set and it was 9:30 PM. When we passed the Ferris Wheel again, heading to the car. Sam said that Momma and Cousin B had to go on the Big Wheel with her and we had to ride in a pink car. So B and I got in line with Sam and she asked the man who ran the rides for a pink car. When we were going on the ride, Sam was trying to touch the moon and stars. She then wanted to sit on my lap and nuzzled her head on my shoulder, "Sam tired momma. Sam's a baby Sam." Both she and Kit were exhausted.

By the time we had left the parking lot, both kids had passed out. I stopped to get a giant coffee for the ride and shortly after, Ben fell asleep too. So I put in The Smiths followed by The Cranberries for my ride home. Luckily the ride home was only 1.5 hours!

All and all, it was a really fun day.

Today was a nice day. We went to my friend's house for lunch. I was bad and had a piece of pizza. Bad carbs, bad! But it was very thin crust and I was very hungry. There are three moms. We each have a kid that is 2 and we all have little baby boys that are w/in 2 mths of each other. Everyone gets along well, so we try to get together once a week.

The year marker of Sam's accident in next Thurs. I have been a mess aobut it - nightmares and stress and just dreading the day. As I fell asleep a few nights ago, I had a brainstorm (I always get my best ideas as I am nodding off, but half the time I go and forget them!). I should not be mourning over this date that approaches, rather I should be celebrating her life and how well she is doing. We don't have any extra money to do anything, but I don't care! I have rented a pony for an hour for the Monday before and I have invited some of Sam's playmates over. I am going to make cupcakes and get juice boxes for the kids. I then got some inexpensive straw coyboy hats and horse heads on a stick for the kiddos. Ben gets paid this Thurs, so I will pay for the pony out of that. Things will get paid off eventually. I have faith in that and besides, Sam LOVES ponies and it will make her so happy. This is about celebrating being given a 2nd chance with our daughter. That is truly priceless.

I wasn't sure what Ben's reaction was going to be when I told him what I had planned (already booked the pony and invited the kids....). He agreed that it is money so well spent. He was also really dreading the year marker of her accident and this was such a positive way to look at it. It gives us something to look forward to and keeps us moving forward instead of getting trapped in the past. So now we are both REALLY looking forward to Monday.

Thursday, which is the actual year marker, we are bringing a cake to the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) where Sam was. And we are bringing a card to the surgeon who saved Sam. We think they will enjoy seeing her as she is instead of a wrapped up, mummy who lay motionless while on a vent. Those people saved her life and I could never thank them enough for what they did for my little girl and our family. We are going to try to get there for 6 PM so we can catch everyone at the changing of the day shift to night shift.

I am sure I will be writing more about this time last year, so be forewarned.

On a good and different note, we are meeting my cousins tomorrow (the ones we went to the Please Touch Museum with that have the little girl who is one.) and we are going to a kiddie amusement park. It is one of those old fashioned ones that you don't pay to get in, you just buy tickets for the rides you want to go on. It should be a really nice day. We are meeting in the afternoon after the kids all have naps. I really enjoyed spending time with them last time we got together and the kids had a blast.

Yesterday we lost power for 8 hours. Can you say the word SUCK? It was sooo freaking hot. I know years ago people did not have electricity; but i am spoiled. Two young kids with no way to cook or keep cold beverages...no A/C...no tv...no music for naps....YIKES!

I had purposely kept Kit up yesteday morning so that he and Sam would nap together. I have been so tired lately and I was hoping to nap w/ them. Well don't you know the bloody power went off just as they were going to sleep and they both woke up to no music in the backround.

I called the elec company and their estimated time for the problem to be fixed was sometime that night. So I threw a few things in the car and put the kids in and started to drive. I figured I'd drive for awhile to let them nap. While driving, I decided to head to my parents. They have extra room and if the power didn't come back on, there is a crib there for Kit. Sam and I could share a bed. It would leave poor Ben at home, but he'd have to deal. Besides, he was in the A/C at work yesterday.

Of course once I drove the 2 hours to my parents, I realized that I left so much crap at home. So when our power did come back on at 8 PM last night, I packed the kids back up and went home. Well of course I drank too much freaking coffee and had to pee every 20 mins. What a pain in the butt it was to get the kids in and out over and over cause my stupid bladder is the size of a pea. Then Sam decided she was hungry, so I had to stop to get her something. Then later on Kit wants to be nursed, so I have to stop again to give him the boob! It took about 4 freaking hours to get home! A total of 6 hours for the day. And a good part of it was with screaming, grumpy children. ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

So needless to say, today I am just beat. On that note, the kids are sleeping and I am going to do the same. I feel like my eyes are rolling back into my skull.