So today I told Ben and he was grea t with it - but I think he was great with it cause he doesn't really believe it.  His words were something like that I have a million to one chance of conceiving naturally and maintaing with out drugs, so I shouldn't get my heart set.  But if by some miracle I did, then he is thrillled.  He meant this to be supportive but - ouch.  Of couse I told him on the 2 hour drive to the accountant.

Then I started to spot a little, which I did with both Sam and Kit, but Ben's words kept going thru my head.  So now I am just feeling sad.  My temps are still high, I am not cramping, I am still nauseas but what I think I really need is a nice and dark BFP.  I just feel like I want to cry.  I can't explain myself very well, so I am just going to shut up now.

And the funny thing is that we got a $8000.00 refund today, so I should be over the moon.  (I am glad about the money...)