Well the MIL left! WOO HOO! But where I thought I was going to be over-joyed, I was still very upset. So once Ben and I got the kiddos settled playing, I told him that we needed to talk.
This has been the WORST of any of her stays. To give you some back round...
Ben and I lived in Edinburgh when it was our 1st Valentine's Day together as a married couple. The week prior to Valentine's, I was in London for a seminar for work, I got very sick when I was there. Luckily the hotel were we were staying was where all the lectures were. So at lunch breaks and such, I went to lay down in my room. I should have gone home, but I was determined to work thru it.
While I was in London, Ben's mom decided that she and his little borther were going to come to visit that weekend. They lived an hour away. She did not ask, she told him. So when I finally got home on Valentine's Day, I was very feeling VERY sick, I found my MIL and BIL at our 1 bedroom flat.
Truthfully I was disgusted. Besides the fact I was sick as a dog, what the hell was she doing at my house for Valentine's Day???? Well that night, my fever spiked even harder and I just started crying. Ben told him mom that he was taking me to the hospital. Well instead of doing the right thing and going home, she said really loudly, "Wendy is being a bit of a baby. She just has a cold. It's no big deal."
Well Ben got me to the hospital. They could not get my fever down and I was admitted. They thought I had menegitis. But according to her, I had a cold and being a baby, right! Well she still did not go home. Eventually my fever did break and I got to go home. I was told to rest and take it easy. I had some funky virus/flu. Well she STILL did not go home and then had the nerve to smoke in the house, which made me want to puke! And she loudly complained how she was bored.
Back to present day, there were several times over her stay that I tried to explain myself to Ben, but I just got all tongue tied. Well once she left, I was very honest in how I felt. I told him that when she comes over, I feel like the odd man out. That is becomes them and I am the outsider in my own house. That makes me feel lonely and hurt. I also told him some of the comments that she had made over the course of her stay. Some of them shocked him. She is a passive aggressive person. She likes to quietly wind someone up and then act like What? What happened?
I also said that I am done being a door mat. When she comes, I cook, I clean, I plan everything, I pay for everything. She sits like a freaking queen and is staying at the Hotel Wendy. At Sam's bday party on Sunday, she sat on her lazy as$ while Ben, me and my parents were busy. She couldn't even clear a plate or anything. She then tells my dad how she loves to come and see her son. My dad was like, uh we like to see Ben and Wendy too but we really love seeing the kids. (My dad never says or notices anything, so this in itself is a big deal...) And she was like - no, no, I like seeing my son. I swear to pikles that she would be over the moon if I were to fall off the face of the earth and if I took the kids too.
Oh and did I mention that when we go there we pay for everything as well?
Rant coming on... this woman is the most self centerd, selfish, spoiled person that I have ever met. She is like a mini Evil Granny. She's Ben's mom and I want to like her. I really went out of my way planning everything, cleaning, and getting ready for her stay. I made Ben use a week of his vacation. I wanted it to be a nice time. And it was not. She is just mean and I do not like her.
She has Ben brainwashed into thinking that he owes her EVERYTHING. Ben's dad left right before he went to Uni and they were poor. She also has a very bad back. Well she has him thinking that she is the Maytyr of the Universe and it is by the wonder of God that she did what she did. Well, yes, she did raise him well. But MANY mom's do that and many do it with a whole lot less.
When I first met Ben, he was here for the summer. He had NO money. He used to eat nothing but stale bread and rice when he was in college. He was working 2 jobs and sending ALL his money back to his mother cause she needed it. He couldn't buy groceries where she had a fridge full and goes on vacation every 3-4 months, but she needed it. Sickening. Aren't parents supposed to be helping there kids, not sucking them dry????
Boy was it nice and quiet when I was at work and how much fun they had with out me...
I am not classy enough to be with Ben...
Sam is a spoiled brat and we placate to her every time she says boo...
Sam needs to get a nicer personality or she won't have any friends...
Nice huh?
Any way at the end of the conversation, Ben felt really bad and he said that he gets lost sometimes when it concerns his mom. I don't know if we have a solution, but at least he is willing to try to see it. He did say that if it came down to it that me and the kids are waaaaaaay more important to him. I really needed to hear that. He also said that we are a team and that anything that comes between that needs to go. I feel like after 10 years of marriage, maybe he finally heard me. She is the only person/thing that ever gets between us.
So I went to bed early last night, still feeling like crap. Yet this morning, I feel soooo much better and I have been enjoying walking around my house knowing that the WITCH is GONE!!!!!!!
Thanks for listening to me!