Once again the snot cooties have infected my sinuses. The kiddos as well, but I can at least give them decongestant. I am still nursing the boy 1x a day, so I won't take any. Altho last night was soooooo bad that I woke up in the middle of the night and tool Benadryl. Now this morning I feel like medicine head. YUCK.
I worked an extra night this week (last night) and I kept getting late night stragglers. So I didn't get home until 11:30 PM. That sucked too. I mean the money was great ($144.00) for 6 hours work, but I really wanted to be asleep by then.So today I am tired, sick and stupid, lol.The kiddos are great - making me laugh every day. Yesterday morning the kids were rammy so we hopped in the minivan and went for a ride in the country side. We saw different animals, cow, pigs, and sheep. And we went by a river. Well Sam started pretend playing that the pigs were in the river and they needed help. Then the cows, then the sheep. We could talk about how we could help them. We used our backpack and our map and then we had to find the horses and the invisible unicorns to help. They knew how to get the animals out of the river. Well we found them and they did. So when we got home, I got the kids out of the van and we started singing the Dora WE DID IT song. It was really funny!
My other funny story today is that both Sam and Kit are into the toy shopping carts. So when I had to go to the market for a few things, we brought their carts too and we all pushed carts. I then put stuff in each of our carts and we all paid our own tabs at the check out. Boy did they look cute!!!!
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Saturday, April 30
Sick Sick Sick... blech.....
by
welee
on Sat 30 Apr 2005 09:04 AM PDT
Monday, April 25
Random thoughts....
by
welee
on Mon 25 Apr 2005 09:03 AM PDT
1. WE BOUGHT A MINI VAN TODAY!!!!! (Yes, Jen, I know we are opposites today, but hey - that is ok!) It is a Chrysler Grand Voyager. It is a 2000 but in GREAT condition and I LOVE it! Ben will get my SUV for work and the Pimp-mobile will be sold. I will post pics of the Pimp-mobile tomorrow and the new minivan WOO HOO! And we got a GREAT 36,000 mile/3 year warranty that covers just about EVERYTHING!
2. Wondering how preggo Chelle is doing. Looking forward to little one arriving.3. Welcome lurkers and thanks for those of you who signed in. Rennie, it's great to have you here. Both Amys, great to chat with you again. Wendi, Suzanne, Momma, Tammy, Kristin, Jen and Ari - you're hardly lurkers and I LOVE ya!4. Thru checking IPs, which is done purely out ot nosiness on my part, I have discoverd not only do I come #1 for Girls boobing girls, I also come up between #1 and #3 for Rotavirius, Rotavirus and Bath, and Green Poop. Gee, I am feeling all special. Maybe my blog isn't as interesting as I thought... I must talk about shit and boobs A LOT, LOL!5. Mr./Ms. Melbourne Australia, I am pretty sure that I am book marked, cause there are no links to my page. Ya know what, as long as you are not my dumb ass sister in law, who lives in Australia, I don't give a crap. Read away! But don't harass my friends. And if you are my SIL, PISS OFF!6. I have decided to forgive Ben. It's too hard being pissed at my best friend, but I still plan on giving him shit over it for quite awhile and yes, his ass is up with the kids this week! HA HA!7. I've had a few interesting dreams... none as interesting as Margie's but intersting non the less. I will share them in a week or so....8. Good luck and sanity wishes to Jedi Mel for weaning off the crazy meds. It is a BITCH!9. Stupid TIVO did NOT tape DH last night cause they had to go ahead and add the special shit in the name and TIVO did not recognize it. MAN! So is Zach Dana or what?10. New Veronica Mars this week. Love that show. Logan in HOT! Ok folks, I am off! Sunday, April 24
LURKERS!!!!
by
welee
on Sun 24 Apr 2005 09:02 AM PDT
Hey folks, I've noticed I get a lot of traffic from unknown and unusual places. That's cool. I mean I am putting my life out there and someone is reading it! So please leave me a comment and tell me where ya are from - especially if ya are from another country!
Girls boobing girls....
by
welee
on Sun 24 Apr 2005 08:58 AM PDT
Yep, I had two differenet people find my blog when doing a search on Google for Girls Boobing Girls. In fact, my blog was the first thing that came up! LMAOPIMP. One guy was from Spain and the other from Germany. I guess the horny fellas were sorely dissappointed when they pulled up my blog!
(I have an ISP tracker thing and from that I can pull what pages got them to my blog...) So there you go, I am #1 for Girls Boobing Girls! WOO HOO!!!!!
Update on the prick...
by
welee
on Sun 24 Apr 2005 08:56 AM PDT
By the time Ben got home last night, I was tucked up in bed watching a movie and Sam was asleep next to me. I turned off every light, locked the door and shut every baby gate. I hope he tripped...
So he came upstairs and said he brought me a present. I said I was not interested and that he needed to go away cause Sam was sleeping. So after the movie, I went to sleep too. At some point Ben moved Sam to her bed and came to bed. Every time he tried to cuddle me, I told him to leave me alone. He said he was sorry. I told him to leave me alone. This morning he got up with the kiddos even tho it was my turn. Sam got up first and Baby Kit slept late. I came down when Baby Kit woke. Afer we got the kids settled, we went in the kitchen to talk. He said he was REALLY sorry and to prove it, he was going to get up every morning for a week with the kids. We usually take turns. He said this was to prove it cause I said words were cheap and actions speak louder than words. He said this was an action to show me. So, I got the apology, but you know what? I am still hurt and I have not forgiven him. I told him that it makes me wonder what else he says and does behind my back. And that hurts so deep because I have always had siuch a blind and loving faith in him. It's not divorce court here, but it is going to take me some tiime to get past this. I just feel SOOOOO betrayed. Friday, April 22
My husband is a prick...
by
welee
on Fri 22 Apr 2005 08:55 AM PDT
So I am talking with Ben the Prick while I am going thru my cingular phone bill, whom he happens to work for, and I noticed that they charged me something stupid like 10 cents on something they haven't had. So I mentioned it in passing cause they have charged me little amounts that they should not have before.
He said jokingly that he had 10 cents on the register and he'd bring it home for me if that would make me happy. I said, uh no but that if Cingular did that to a million customers that it would add up. He said again still joking that he'd bring home the dime. I told him that it was not necessary and that calling customer service was not worth my time for 10 cents, lol. So he hung up, but I didn't cause I was on my hands free and I was busy with the kids. Well he did not know I was there and it couldn't of been more than a minuted before I hear him start making fun of me cause they overcharged me a dime and how I was making such a big deal about it. Then I hear laughter from him and his coworkers. He then goes on to flat out lie and said that I was going on and on about it being a conspiracy and blah, blah, blah. I then hung up and called him. I said that if he was going to talk smack about me to his coworkers then he really should be smart enough to make sure that I was not on the phone. Well then he was all full of Oh I am sorry, I was just joking, I didn't mean it, it was just Daphene and she knows you...blah, blah, blah. Like any of that makes a difference???!!!! He was making jokes at my expense. That is just wrong. And I do KNOW his coworkers. Some of them I trained before I left the company! So what he thought it was funny to make me look like a dumb ass??? I just think that there is something really wrong about this. I would NEVER make shit up about him and make fun of him behind his back like that to coworkers. I am just so totally disgusted right now. I feel like I have been betrayed - like it is a breech of trust. He's supposed to be my best friend, right???? I am so freaking angry and hurt, I just do not know what to do.
Scared Shitless today....
by
welee
on Fri 22 Apr 2005 08:55 AM PDT
So today we went to my friends house for a playdate. She has a daughter, R, who is Sam's age and another daughter, S, who is a few months younger than Kit. So R and Sam get along great and play. Well today we were planning on going outside, so I put sunscreen on Sam and R first and then on Baby Kit. My friend had let the girls in the garage and opened the garage door (didn't tell me that). Well when I thought it was a little too quiet, I went to check on the girls and they were GONE. My freaking heart sank and I felt PANIC flood thru my veins.
I called to friend and she said calmly, "Oh they probably went on the side deck." (Their house is very high. There is an enclosed side deck. But behind the house is a fairly large creek that is cerainly deep enough to cause trouble.) So I ran to the side deck and the girls were not there. So I called back, "NO!" All that kept racing thru my mind is that they found a way to the creek and what if they got in the water... "Oh relax and don't worry, they probably went next door," my friend said eerily calm. "R runs over there all the time." Well I didn't give two figs and a cookie what R does when my Sam is not there but MY Sam was gone! So I sternly said to my friend, "This is NOT acceptable. You need to go inside and look for the girls while I go next door and look. NOW!" And I ran next door. As soon as I got there, I saw that the car was not in the driveway, but the door was open. As I went inside I heard two little voices giggling. "SAMANTHA, R, you get here RIGHT now!" I said firmer than I think I EVER said anything. I'm not sure what I said next, but I had those girls in a line and marching (literally cause I said march and they took me literally...) back to my friends house. I immediately put Sam in time out and let her have it. My friend did the same with R. After a few minutes, Sam came over to me and for the first time, I got a really sincere apology. "Mama, I am so sorry. I won't go outside anymore with out you. I don't want a mean man to get me." "Do you know how that made Mama feel?" I asked. "Sad," Sam answered. "And how else?" I queried further. "Angry and scared," Sam said. "Do not do that EVER again,: I told her. "I won't and I love you Mama," Sam said as she hugged me. Now my friend's daughter only yelled the whole time she was in time out. And once I let Sam out, my friend let R out but never talked about what she did. All R said was that she wanted to go outside and play. I really like my friend, but it is clear that she lets her kid just run amuck. I mean Sam followed R but it was at her house and I truly think she was following R's lead. Sam NEVER does that at home. And after it happened, I KNOW she was sorry. She actually brought it up several times today. How can my friend just think it is acceptable to let her 3 year old run out unsupervised and just assume that it is ok??????? It just blows my mind. Well at least I know that when the girls get bigger, Sam will not be allowed over with out me! Sunday, April 17
Boobing...
by
welee
on Sun 17 Apr 2005 08:48 AM PDT
The boy is now just boobing when he first wakes up in the morning. And even then not always a lot. *Sigh* *Mixed emotions*
I mean he is getting much less shy and more independant. That is a good thing. And we still have our cuddle time. So that is fine too. But it is sad cause he is now really becoming a toddler and not my sweet, sweet baby. Wow. I am just not ready for this. The time just goes by TOOOOOOO fast. Friday, April 15
Odd but true...
by
welee
on Fri 15 Apr 2005 08:46 AM PDT
This is for Jen and anyone else who gets confused by my typos....
I was not born in the same town as Ben. I was born in the USA. However, when I was about 10, I used to play a game with my cousin, who was visiting from Italy. You know, the games girls play where they fall in love with imaginary princeses and get married and all that. Well anyhoo, when my cousin went back to Italy, we used to write letters to each other and to our characters. We did this for YEARS.Well, I got to get in much detail about the love of my life. I wrote about him for over 5 years. Well this is the man I described. He was a quiet man, a bit aloof, a loner. He drank a little sometimes, he smoked, he dressed in all black. He had a quick wit and a dry sense of humor. He did not trust easily. He was from the UK. His mother was an actress and gone. He lived with his father.He had long dark hair and light eyes. And once he fell in love with me, which was fast and furious, the bond was unbreakable. I could go on for hours about this man I used to write about.... I even used to draw cartoon characters of this man. And guess who it looks like...Now fast forward time... I am in real life. I am 26 and I have NEVER gone out with anyone with long hair. I see Ben and my breath stopped. He was the most beautuful guy that I ever saw. I actually stopped walking and talking and just looked. He did not see me, it was threw a mirror. He had long light hair and light eyes and was all dressed in black (Shortly after we got together he dedcided to dye his hair black. He never told me was was going to, he just did it.)When I met him, it was obvious by his speech, that he was indeed British. Shortly after we started hanging out together, he told me that he does not trust people easily. His father is an artist and gone. He lived with his mom. Ben was very quiet and aloof. And back in the day, he did drink and smoke. And one of the things I fell in love with first about Ben is his wicked dry sense of humor.Ben and I kissed for the first time in August of 1995 and then were married 5 months later. Here we are fast and furious 9.5 years later. So how's that for strange? I knew exactly who I was going to marry YEARS before I met him! Thursday, April 14
Who the fuck I am I?! Who the fuck are you?!
by
welee
on Thu 14 Apr 2005 08:45 AM PDT
(The title is NOT anger, I just thought it sounded funny!)
I guess for the verbal person I am, I tend to talk about lots of things except me. Snaps to Kyra and Momma for the high scores of 70%. I guess I thought that someone would get a really high score, (not that there is anything wrong with a 70%...) esp. cause I sent it to a few friends who have known me since I was a little kid. So here I am....
I used to be a XXX head but a very fucntioning one. Peopel were always SHOCKED to learn that I XXXXXX. Plan to XXXXX again someday too! When the kiddos are grown and out of the house - WATCH OUT! LOL! Yeah, yeah, those are TOMATO plants in my back yard... really!
I fell in love for the first time when I was 15. We were together for 3 years and then I broke his heart. Still are friends to this day. I skipped a grade when I was younger and graduated high school barely 17. Could have skipped my senior year of HS as well but did not want to miss out on the fun. I got a lead in every single play that I ever audtioned for. I had a full Fine Arts Scholarship at a University that my parents did not like, so they made me turn it down and I had to listen cause I was only 17. I gave up men the day before I got together with Ben. I was going to use them and abuse them like I felt they did to us. I love any Cinderella story and I am an etenal romantic. And an optimist. I have saved all love letters that I have received from boyfriends in high sdhool and college and look forward to giving them to Sam someday to read. I also saved a bunch of old diaries and toys too. I had always hoped for daughter to share that stuff with. Ok, now aside from all the factual data... I am a VERY loving and loyal person, but I protect my heart thru a smile and a joke. I am a great listener and will always give advice and help when asked, but I am VERY reluctant to ask for help myself. I ADORE my family. I love being a SAHM. And I still am VERY much in love with my husband. I want more kids, he is unsure, we will see... I am sensitive and gentle, but am strong and independant. I love to write, paint, sing, and spend time outdoors. I think I would have done great if I had been alive in the Rennaissnace. I am not pretentous. Big flashy things do not impress me. I like to know what is below the surface. I think that is why Ben and I tend to have an unusual group of friends. Different can be good. It often is. But sometimes online I feel like I am on the outside looking in and I do not know why. So there you go... an insight into who I am... more than just the facts... So now go study gals! Monday, April 11
BERT IS EVIL...
by
welee
on Mon 11 Apr 2005 07:38 PM PDT
For a GREAT laugh, go here.... IT explains an awful lot about that weirdo Ernie lives with. And Susan, it may even explain about the love of pigeons....
BERT IS EVIL LINK HERE!
Sunday, April 10
THIS IS WRONG!!!!
by
welee
on Sun 10 Apr 2005 07:38 PM PDT
READ THIS!!!!! http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4425603.stm
I do not mean to offend anyone here, but this is the MOST wacked thing I have EVER read! Pro choice or Pro life - that is another matter for debate. But if a woman chooses to go on BC and her doc gives her the script - who the heck is the pharamcist to deny her! If the pharamcist does not like his/her job, then he/she needs to get another job or join the clergy. This makes me sick. Uh, hello, we are in Amercia... Land of the Free???? Friday, April 8
When it rains it pours...
by
welee
on Fri 08 Apr 2005 07:37 PM PDT
So, to boot, today AF shows up early. I was surprised earlier this month cause I O-ed earlier than usual, so I was all hopeful that maybe my LP was staightening out. I actually missed the freaking O (we had sex but it was purely coincidental...). Well low and behold, ten days after the suspected O, I start to spot today. So of course, I still hope it is late implantation, right? Doubt it. Feels like a good kick in the ass. Every month is the same, a kick in the teeth.
Ben is still on the fence about it, but I just feel like that my miracle of no medication is NEVER going to happen, so I just want to fill that danmed RX of Clomid that has been stuck on the side of my fridge since bloody February. I know he isn't sure yet, but I feel like my time is running out. I just turned 36 and I feel like I am losing what is left of my time to do this one more time. The situation sucks because I understand that it is not fair to make him have another child if her really doesn't want another one, but at the same time, it is not fair to deny me either. I swear, as a wife, I do not ask for a whole lot. (Yes, I know this is a biggie...) And it is so important to me. I just can't seem to find the words to get it thru to him that I KNOW, I KNOW we are meant to have another. I feel the ache all the time. It just makes me want to cry sometimes. Then to boot, a friend of mine just told me yesterday that they are thinking of having a 3rd. She swore up and down she didn't want anymore. But now her DH wants one, so she thinks she might. What really sucks is she is ALWAYS complaining about how her kids drive her nuts and never really had anything good to say about being a parent. Honesty, so why is her DH going to let her have another one and my DH is on the freaking fence? I am a great mom and I love it so. It's not that I don't have my occasional moment, we all do, but for the most part and I am really upbeat and clearly happy with being a SAHM mom. I want to say my life sucks, but that is not true... I have a wonderful DH (even if we are at odds on this) and the two most beautiful kiddos in the world - both of whom I absolutely adore and am soooo proud of. I just paid off all our debt today. I have a nice house. We live modestly, but happily. And I am blessed with some wonderful friends. I am just sad about this one thing. Unfortunatly it is a big thing and I pray that Ben sees my point and I do not have to go thru the rest of my life aching for something I may never have. BTW, new music. As if I am not depressed enough....
GRRRRRRR...
by
welee
on Fri 08 Apr 2005 07:36 PM PDT
So I just get off the phone with my mom. Sh e is upset cause the house is dirty and wanted to vent. Then she has the NERVE to say that she should have come up here so she wouldn't have to look at the mess! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.... Stupid or selfish? I haven't decided....
I was nice, curt, but nice and simply said that when you do home improvements, the house gets dirty, That is just the way it is, so deal with it. (BTW, the kitchen isn't even finished, so why the frig is she cleaning it anyway????? I mean a lite clean up after my dad has finished sure, but a super clean... why bother??? He still has flooring to finish...) She didn't stay on the phone long with me cause I do not think I was giving her the sympathy she wanted. Truthfully? I don't give a rats behind that her house is dirty.... Luckily the stupid gene was passed to the Wack-a-doodle and not me. I swear to pikles, I must be adopted because I am NOTHING like my relations. Sunday, April 3
Who has the power???
by
welee
on Sun 03 Apr 2005 07:36 PM PDT
And today I learned that my boy plays me and has me trained. I had finished feeding the kiddos and just made a plate for myself and sat down to eat. Well he comes over himming and hawing like he needs to nurse. He starts pulling at my shirt and clawing for the boobs. So I bend over so he can grab them and nurse, but it made it really ackward to eat. So I pulled my shirt back down and said, "No Baby Kit. Mom is eating." I knew he wasn't hungry cause he had just eaten and he ate A LOT. Kit did not like that answer and started pitching a hissy fit. I felt badly; but I was hungry. I knew he was full and had a clean diaper, so he would be fine for a minute. I mean at 15 months, he can wait 5 minutes after he just ate, right? Well after a few minutes, he walked away, grabbed his sippy cup and drank it while smiling at me. When he was finished, he started to play... He just wanted to boobs cause he wanted them and that was that! LOL! My boy just likes to exert who is really the boss. In case you haven't guessed, it is NOT me... Saturday, April 2
Bottoms up!
by
welee
on Sat 02 Apr 2005 07:35 PM PST
Well ok, my bottom has been down but no puking, so that is a plus. They boy has a fever but is not spewing and spraying grossness from either end. Sam is better today and so is Ben. *fingers crossed*
I don't think I can count as high as the amount of times I have cleaned the toliets. Basically anytime anyone yaked or yucked, I scrubbed it down. YUCK! And it was Ben's boss who brought this lovely little virus back in our lives. BASTARD! Thank God he just gave Ben a 4.5% raise. Doesn't sound like much, but the max is supposed to be 3%. Still, DAMNED BASTARD, KEEP YOUR COOTIES! Thanks for the well wishes! XOXOX! Friday, April 1
ROTAVIRUS...
by
welee
on Fri 01 Apr 2005 07:34 PM PST
Has found it's way back to my house. DAMNED ROTAVIRUS!!!!! Right now Ben and Sam are out for the count. So I am trying to keep Baby Kit away from them and I have scrubbed EVERYTHING in this house.
I really, really, really hope I can avoid Baby Kit getting it and I wouldn't mind too much if I missed it too. Any hoo, at least everything is done - cleaning, laundry and shopping so if I do get it, we are stocked and prepared. BLEACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wednesday, March 30
Bad things happen to good people...
by
welee
on Wed 30 Mar 2005 07:34 PM PST
As I get older I find that horrible tragedies that I heard about when I was younger that never happened to anyone I know, now happens to people I know.
Today is the funeral for a local police officer who was shot in the back, by accident during a training session for rookies. He is survived by a wife and two children, a six year old daughter and a 3 year old son. The guy who shot him was a friend and now is in a mental institution. I just got done watching the hearse and 40 police cars, from all over the state and NJ, drive by my house on the way to the service. I held the baby and watched as I bawled. These people are my friend Jen's (not from the board Jens...) best friends. Jen's Dh sat in ICU with the wife as she watched her husband die. He was shot at 3:30ish and was pronounced dead by 4:20. As the widow of a cop, she will be set financially for life; however, all the money in the world can't by her the one thing she wants... her husband back. I feel like I can't breath when I think of how hard it is going once the childrend realize what is going on. She has to be strong for her children. How do you do that when someone rips your heart out and you are vacant inside? So if you have a moment, say a prayer for this woman and her children. I know I will be. Thanks. Tuesday, March 29
Dr. George's...
by
welee
on Tue 29 Mar 2005 07:33 PM PST
Teeth whitening REALLY works!!! And it is cheap!!!! Just had to share. Now I am going to bed. Nighty night! Monday, March 28
Easter Bunny...
by
welee
on Mon 28 Mar 2005 07:30 PM PST
The Easter bunny came to our
house. The kids LOVEd their baskets - stickers, small toys, chcoolate and Sam got a Barbie... So we ate some chocolate, Ben and I had some tea, he is now napping and the kids are quietly playing. A nice relaxing morning. HAPPY EASTER! Sunday, March 27
My bday....
by
welee
on Sun 27 Mar 2005 07:31 PM PST
was quiet but nice. One of my friends,
who I have known since I was 9 came up from Atlanta with her two kiddos . Her older one is 2 and the baby is 8 weeks. We met at another friend's house, who I have known since I was 10. She has a daughter 10 days older than Kit. It was really nice. We drank coffee in the morning and munched on fruit, had pizza for lunch and they had a small icecream cake for my bday and got me a gift. It was bath gels, cream and soap in cucumber melon from Bath and Body. I LOVE that place and never spend the dollars on myself.It was really nice hanging out. I do not get to see them often and all the kids got along SOOOO well. It was really weird tho having all our kiddos play when we were kiddos ourselves when we played and got into trouble. Heck, I remember stealing cigerrettes from Atlanta's mom's bag and then going into the woods to share one cigerrette between us. The code word was SLEDING because when you are a kid, everything has to have a code word, LOL!We first became good friends when we were assinged together in the 5th grade to do a report on Alberta Canada. I think I still have the end result somewhere around here, lol! Of course, true to 5th grade fashion, we would get together to work but ended upn gabbing for hours instead. I think in the end, we had to scramble at the end but still got a B, so that worked.Ten days older than Kit's mom also had Easter baskets for all the kiddos, which they all LOVED.I think I monopolized Atlanta's 8 week old, but no one minded. Boy did it feel good to old a little tiny babe. She nestled her little head against me and that was that done, lol! When the kids were eating, I had Sam and Kit in front of me in chairs as I stood behind, holding the baby. Atlanta kept asking if I wanted her to take the baby, but I was like NO WAY! She laughed and said she was taking advantage of it then. It felt good holding a baby while taking care of the kiddos, very natiural. And Baby Kit was actually ok with it. At one point later, he came over to be boobed while I was holding the baby. She was sleeping, so I just moved how she was laying and he got comfy under my shirt and grabbed his snack. One nice thing about nursing an older baby is that they can get the All-You-Can_Eat-Buffet themself. Of course, this was a short time, but it made me feel that I can really handle 3 if and when the time comes.Later that night, we had a quiet evening. Ben had to work late, but we had celebrated my bday the night before when he was home taking care of me after my back thing. He got me a beautiful necklace with the kid's photo etched in it and their names on the back and a ton of starter soil and seeds for my garden. I also got a new watering can and spray mister, Of course, I had to start planting immediately and now our bedroom looks like Old MacDonald's farm, but in 6 weeks it will all be outside in the ground. What can I say? I LOVE making things grow. I shoulda been a farm girl....
Can you say....
by
welee
on Sun 27 Mar 2005 09:15 AM PST
NEW TV!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!! Sears should call us in about 5 business days to tell us what we get - which will be the same or better!!!!! YIPEE!!!!!
Thursday, March 24
2nd day in a row...
by
welee
on Thu 24 Mar 2005 04:14 PM PST
With no crazy meds and I haven't killed anyone yet... so I guess so far so good. Don't get me wrong, the crazy meds helped me when I needed them with PPD. But, it does seem to me that doctors are too eager to keep people on them rather than treat the problem and help us find a solution.
So if I make it the next few days without any probs, then I am crazy med free! WOO HOO!!!! I have been craving carbs and I have been induldging but I figure if the tail end of withdrawal needs some sugar, so be it! On a good note, I have booked for Indy and we are really excited! It will be March Momma time again soon. July will roll around quicker than we know it. We are going to take a few extra days and drive out but stop in Columbus on the way there and on the way back. We haven't been to Ohio, so we figured it would be nice driving thru and spending a couple of days in Columbus too. Other good news, Ben's mom will be coming ove again from Scotland. She arrives in 2 weeks and we be here for Samantha's PJ bday party. It will be fun. Unrelated - I found someone to come to our house and fix the new sofa! YIPEE!!! And we will deduct what we pay from the sectional we are getting. Yeah baby yeah.... So now I do not care what it costs to fix it. Other than that - work was slow again this week and I am still super duper tired. On that note, it is time to put my sweet boy to bed. Poor thing is cutting his molars on top of a cold. And then there is Sam who has taken to screaming EXCUSE ME whenever I am speaking to someone beside her. Even when I tell her, "just one minute..." She BELLOWS, "EXCUUUUUUUUUUSE ME....." I like the fact she is being polite, but I am having trouble explaining that sometimes she still needs to wait a minute. "But i said excuse me momma, " she says. Oh well, she will get it. So I really am off now. Later guys and gals. Oh yeah, Ben, I know you read this more than you say cause I found it in your history several times. At laeast you can leave me a comment or two... ;) XOXOXOX Wednesday, March 23
A moment from back in hell...
by
welee
on Wed 23 Mar 2005 04:42 PM PST
I am the silvery ice hanging from the rooftop, silent, sharp, strong. Lean on me, but don't take notice that I am numb. Please, dearest coldness, I implore you, stop my pain.
In an instant things happen. A flash. A moment. Time that cannot be taken back.
The heat, the fire, my enemy tried to take you from. Burning and mauling, your beautiful sweet body, your face. Now you, my baby, lay letting the machines live for you.
A child so innocent; A father's guilt. An accident. My beautiful 17th month baby girl.
Time froze as the roar of the ambulance whisked you away. Only recognizable by the little hair ribbon in your hair, your face so swollen that your eyes were half moons. Your ivory complexion was now thick, white and hard like dried candle wax.
I fell to the floor as the gurney was wheeled away. My husband eyes were vacant. Stand up! Get on with the motions; there is time enough later to deal.
Weeks gone by, as I listen to your machines. I watch your tiny chest rise and fall, perfectly timed. All bandaged I cannot recognize you; but as your mother, I would know you anywhere. I stroke your little exposed feet, ignoring all the tubes in and out.
I breathe, inhaling the scent of you. My heart starts fill – warm, painful, overwhelming. The injustice of you laying here…
STOP! Today is not the day to deal. Dearest frozen ice, where are you? I need you. I cannot control the fire with in; and I am afraid that it will cause me to burst in flame. Moment to moment is where I must stay, anesthetized and strong for the family.
WTF???
by
welee
on Wed 23 Mar 2005 04:41 PM PST
Yesterday it was beautiful, warm and sunny. Today is cold and snowing. GRRRRRRRR... No snaps for Mother Nature today!
Tuesday, March 22
Sam's PJ party...
by
welee
on Tue 22 Mar 2005 04:40 PM PST
 Sunday March 13th
10AM -12PM
Pancakes, games, bday cake and fun....
Monday, March 21
Time for a shot...
by
welee
on Mon 21 Mar 2005 04:40 PM PST
In my back that is. I think after slaving over the Queen Bitch, I made my back worse. I now have constant pain on my right side and down my thigh. So I called the doc today. They are moving buildings, so I can't have traction until they are in the new place. They wanted to put my on a heavier pain relief medicine, but I said no cause I am still nursing Kit. So the epidural is it. Getting it on Thursday. Nervous.
Speaking of nursing Kit. I was talking to a friend of mine from growing up. We were chatting and I told her about my back and why I wouldn't go on pain medicine. "You are still nursing him?!" she asked with disgust. "Yes," I answered. "He must be the healthiest boy ever," she sacrastically said. "He sure is," I proudly beamed. WTF? What the heck is wrong with nursing my 15 month old 2x a day? Did I say anything to her when she decided to stop cause it wasn't convienant, she wanted to be able to drink wine sometimes and smoke pot at the end of the day? No I did not. Did I say anything when she smoked ciggerettes while pg (according to her she cut down - big whoop...)? No I did not. So since I don't add my 2 cents unless asked, why can't the curtiousy be returned? I do not understand why some people have such a hard time about nursing. To me it is the most natural thing in the world. I do it discretely in public - I mean heck, if I was running around with my boobs flapping in the air I could understand that. First, I'd probably knock someone out and second, no one (Except maybe Ben...) really needs to see that... Other than that, we spent a nice day as a family today. Got Sam's annual photo done and Kit's 15 mth photo done. They came out great. Now Kit is sleeping soundly and I am about to read a book to Sam. Nighty night! Saturday, March 19
I AM FREE!!!!
by
welee
on Sat 19 Mar 2005 04:34 PM PST
Well the MIL left! WOO HOO! But where I thought I was going to be over-joyed, I was still very upset. So once Ben and I got the kiddos settled playing, I told him that we needed to talk. This has been the WORST of any of her stays. To give you some back round... I also said that I am done being a door mat. When she comes, I cook, I clean, I plan everything, I pay for everything. She sits like a freaking queen and is staying at the Hotel Wendy. At Sam's bday party on Sunday, she sat on her lazy as$ while Ben, me and my parents were busy. She couldn't even clear a plate or anything. She then tells my dad how she loves to come and see her son. My dad was like, uh we like to see Ben and Wendy too but we really love seeing the kids. (My dad never says or notices anything, so this in itself is a big deal...) And she was like - no, no, I like seeing my son. I swear to pikles that she would be over the moon if I were to fall off the face of the earth and if I took the kids too. Boy was it nice and quiet when I was at work and how much fun they had with out me... I am not classy enough to be with Ben... Sam is a spoiled brat and we placate to her every time she says boo... Sam needs to get a nicer personality or she won't have any friends... Nice huh? Any way at the end of the conversation, Ben felt really bad and he said that he gets lost sometimes when it concerns his mom. I don't know if we have a solution, but at least he is willing to try to see it. He did say that if it came down to it that me and the kids are waaaaaaay more important to him. I really needed to hear that. He also said that we are a team and that anything that comes between that needs to go. I feel like after 10 years of marriage, maybe he finally heard me. She is the only person/thing that ever gets between us. So I went to bed early last night, still feeling like crap. Yet this morning, I feel soooo much better and I have been enjoying walking around my house knowing that the WITCH is GONE!!!!!!! Thanks for listening to me! Monday, March 7
The results are in....
by
welee
on Mon 07 Mar 2005 04:33 PM PST
and my disk between L4 and L5 is leaking and my disk in losing fluid. Not particularly a good thing. So the silver lining is that I am not crazy and my pain is real. The bad news is that I have a ruptured disk. So...
For now I am going to keep doing therapy and taking this Cosamin stuff that is suppsed the help. If the pain is not better by my next appt, I will get traction 5x a week and an epidural shot of cotizone in my back. Whatchya gonna do? I say take the family out for dinner, which is what we did. Mussels Marinara and Fried Calamari... YUM!
Back doc today...
by
welee
on Mon 07 Mar 2005 04:32 PM PST
So I have my follow up with the back doc today and I will get the results of my MRI. Being that they didn't call me at home, I am taking that as good news.
The house is clean and my MIL arrives tomorrow. It should be a nice visit. Despite what I wrote a few days ago, I do like her and we get along. It is just hard sometimes having another person in the house and being that I am the mom/wife, all the cleaning, planning and doing falls onto me. I have everything ready for Sam's PJ party on Sunday. Two families have not RSVP-ed. Why is it so hard for some people to RSVP... either you can go or you can't. It's not neurosurgery. Anyhoo, the kids will arrive for 10AM. The kids can play downstairs in the playroom. Around 11, they will come up and while Ben is getting the pancakes ready, I will grab a few parents and we will do the parachute for the kiddos and bubbles and I have a few games. I figure the kiddos then can eat on the parachute. Easy clean up. After that we will do cake and presents and then it should be 12PM and time for everyone to go. Sam is VERY excited!!!!!!!!
Both kiddos are feeling much better. WOO HOO for the antiboitics. It is like night and freaking day. And now I have been a FLYBABY for over a month. Yeay for me!!!! I don't really follow her exact plan, but I do keep my sink clean and do 5 min room rescues all the time. And I have my own zone plan, but it is working. I no longer live in laundry hill. OHHH, we got Sam an inexpensive DVD (5 bucks!) of Cinderella made by Good Time Home Video. It is not pretty and award winning like Disney; however, the story is so simple and nice. Even tho the animation is so, so, the music is lovely and there isn't so much other crap going on (like singing mice and other stuff). When Sam has her choice of Disney and this one. She chooses the Good Times one. So I have just order her 5 more (Sleeping Beauty, Alice in Wonderland, Alladin, Pocohontis, Snow White). Sam wathces it over and over and over. Sam is soooo in love with Cinderella right now. She has been carrying around my music box, saying that it has magic in it and that her fairy Godmother gave it to her, And she has dress up slippers that are her glass slippers. She has been sleeping with both the box and the slippers the past few nights. Very Cute. Ok, time to play with the kiddos!
Back doc today...
by
welee
on Mon 07 Mar 2005 04:20 PM PST
So I have my follow up with the back doc today and I will get the results of my MRI. Being that they didn't call me at home, I am taking that as good news.
The house is clean and my MIL arrives tomorrow. It should be a nice visit. Despite what I wrote a few days ago, I do like her and we get along. It is just hard sometimes having another person in the house and being that I am the mom/wife, all the cleaning, planning and doing falls onto me. I have everything ready for Sam's PJ party on Sunday. Two families have not RSVP-ed. Why is it so hard for some people to RSVP... either you can go or you can't. It's not neurosurgery. Anyhoo, the kids will arrive for 10AM. The kids can play downstairs in the playroom. Around 11, they will come up and while Ben is getting the pancakes ready, I will grab a few parents and we will do the parachute for the kiddos and bubbles and I have a few games. I figure the kiddos then can eat on the parachute. Easy clean up. After that we will do cake and presents and then it should be 12PM and time for everyone to go. Sam is VERY excited!!!!!!!!
Both kiddos are feeling much better. WOO HOO for the antiboitics. It is like night and freaking day. And now I have been a FLYBABY for over a month. Yeay for me!!!! I don't really follow her exact plan, but I do keep my sink clean and do 5 min room rescues all the time. And I have my own zone plan, but it is working. I no longer live in laundry hill. OHHH, we got Sam an inexpensive DVD (5 bucks!) of Cinderella made by Good Time Home Video. It is not pretty and award winning like Disney; however, the story is so simple and nice. Even tho the animation is so, so, the music is lovely and there isn't so much other crap going on (like singing mice and other stuff). When Sam has her choice of Disney and this one. She chooses the Good Times one. So I have just order her 5 more (Sleeping Beauty, Alice in Wonderland, Alladin, Pocohontis, Snow White). Sam wathces it over and over and over. Sam is soooo in love with Cinderella right now. She has been carrying around my music box, saying that it has magic in it and that her fairy Godmother gave it to her, And she has dress up slippers that are her glass slippers. She has been sleeping with both the box and the slippers the past few nights. Very Cute. Ok, time to play with the kiddos! Sunday, March 6
I love my kids...
by
welee
on Sun 06 Mar 2005 04:20 PM PST
I love my kids, I really, really do! They are playing quietly with each other as I type this. And it just makes my heart go flitter flutter. *Sigh*
And I love Ben. He and I had a heart to heart the other night about how we shouldn't let the pressure of everyday make us forget or back bunrer the affection that we used to show each other so much and so often. (It gets easy to get caught up in the chaos of day to day...) We really connceted and we still really do love each other. Just not as a married couple or as parents or as grown ups but just as a man and a woman. It's not that I really doubted it, but boy is it nice to tell each other and to hear it from time to time. And guess what, the affection has been just so free flowing...from both of us.
I am a very blessed person. Saturday, March 5
My mother in law is coming next week from Scotland for 2 weeks...
by
welee
on Sat 05 Mar 2005 04:19 PM PST
That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane - Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn - world serves its own needs, don't misserve your own needs. Feed it up a knock, speed, grunt no, strength no. Ladder structure clatter with fear of height, down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven games in a government for hire and a combat site. Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the furies breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered crop. Look at that low plane! Fine then. Uh oh, overflow, population, common group, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed. Tell me with the rapture and the reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty psyched. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine. Six o'clock - TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign tower. Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn. Lock him in uniform and book burning, blood letting. Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate. Light a candle, light a motive. Step down, step down. Watch a heel crush, crush. Uh oh, this means no fear - cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine. The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mount St. Edelite. Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs. Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic, slam, but neck, right? Right. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine...fine... Thursday, March 3
Took the kids to the doctors today...
by
welee
on Thu 03 Mar 2005 04:18 PM PST
cause for the first time since Sam's throat surgery, I heard the strider today when I picked her up from school. The kids have had this ongoing cold for a month now. I had them at the ped 2 weeks ago that assured me that this time of year, kids often get another cold as they are getting rid of one. So when it settled in the kid's chest, I just went with it - cold air vaporizers, decongestants and keeping an eye on them. Needless to say, when I heard the strider today - I panicked.
It's funny cause a friend that I have been out of touch with and recently started chatting with again said to me that many mom's that she has spoken with still have a hard time talking about their kid's hospitalization, even when it was 30 years ago. She said it is a Post Traumatic Stress thing. I looked it up at the time and even though most of it was military related on the web, it kinda made sense. I thought that Ben and I would eventually compartmentalize this. I have done that with every other hard thing I have ever been thru - not that anything compared to what we went thru with Sam. I no longer believe that to be true. When I heard her strider as we walked to the car, my heart froze. Inside my head all I kept hearing, was OMG, not again, not another surgery, I can't do this again.... So I picked her up and carried both her and baby Kit to the car and called our ped as soon as we were on the road. They were great and told me to bring her right in. Can I tell you how much I LOVE our new pediatricians???? They looked her over very thoroughly and assured me that it is just cause she has been coughing and sick for so long. THANK GOD. They diagnosed her with Bronchitis and gave me a script for an antibiotic and a RX cough med to help her sleep. When I told them that Baby Kit has been sick as well, the doc said that they;d pull his chart and check him over too seeing that it was almost the weekend. Turns out that my little guy also has Bronchitis. The ped said he actually sounds worse. So the kids are on matching scripts. Poor babies! My ped and I chatted for awhile about what antibiotics would be best for the kids. Sam is allergic to Amycillion, she wanted to stay away from all penicillin's and closely related meds, I was so impressed with the extra time and care she took to get the kiddos on the right thing. Then she asked in detail about Sam's accident. We had a different ped at the time. And we talked about it - like she was interested in my child- rather that asking the standard questions on a form. KWIM? She asked me if we prayed when Sam was hurt cause a lot of people find religion during a time like that. I laughed and explained that the Chaplin at the hospital had said the same thing, Everything was so out of control at first, I barely had time to breath, But oddly enough, I did find God and feel closer to him now more than I ever did. I found faith and trust and the belief that there is something out there beyond what I can control. She said to hold onto that because having that faith can get us thru so much more that we ever thought that we could. It was a nice conversation. It wasn't preachy or trying to convert me into something. It was very genuine and it made me feel better after the panic I felt earlier in the day, I also liked that a woman of science can still be open to spirituality. I still think that sometimes it is the very little things that brings what happened to Sam forefront to my mind and Ben says it is like that for him. I just hope that as time goes on, it lessons. And I wonder if I will ever be able to be upstairs and hear one of the kids cry out and not choke as I bolt for the stairs as my voice wavers while trying to sound steady, "Is everyone ok?" I am all over the place tonight, The kids have had me up constantly the past few nights - and I have worked the past 2 nights as well - so my brain is no longer working well. And I am getting the house ready cause Ben's mom is coming over from Scotland next week for a 2 week visit. So I am going to stop blogging and I am going to watch the Idiot Box (aka TV). Nighty night! Tuesday, March 1
Love Thy Neighbor....yeah, right!
by
welee
on Tue 01 Mar 2005 04:17 PM PST
As bad as my neighbors are about taking advantage of us with M, their neighbor on the other side are even worse. They are two of the trashiest, miost classless and tasteless people I have ever met. It's bad enough that they try to blind the neighborhood with so much tacky crap on their front. Seriously, I am all for decorating, but instead of planting flowers like normal people do, they plant plastic flowers. For Easter, they make a 5 foot shaker cross and put it on their front lawn. Not my taste, but I could over look that except that the wind always knocks it down, so their shaker 5 foot cross spends most of the spring on the ground. I am not Christian and that even offends me, the token town Jew. At Chrsitmas I swear, there were more Christmas decoroations out than in all of Walmart, there were still some fall sunflowers out, there were 4th of July wind chimes and then some.
These people have fought back and forth with M's family since they moved in. Luckily I have stayed out the of the rador and am merely a spectator. They have even called the police on each other. So yesterday M's mom calls me to tell me that this wacko neighbor called. She was inviting M's mom to her wedding shower! Oh, I never did tell you that tthe really classless neigborts been together for years and have a 7 year old daugher. The man started taking up with the chick while he was still married and she was 16 and in high school. Then she got preggo. So the fact that wacko lady invited M'm mom to her shower is really funny, not to mention having a shower after all this time... what can she possibley need??!! After chatting with M's mom for awhile, she asked if something happened between M and Sam. Nothing did, so I told her that. She said that M thought that maybe Sam was mad cause we haven't been letting her in as much especially when she comes around at 7 in the morning. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT????? Diplomat I am, not wanting to cause waves cause we have to live next door to these people, I answered, "Sometimes I just can't get to the door cause I am busy with the kids and sometimes we just do not hear." But what I wanted to say was, "Are you so thick that you haven't figured out that it is completley inappropriate to be sending your kid to my house 7 days a freaking week!!" I find it appalling that instead of explaining boundries to their kid, they let her feel badly. And lately we have not been letting M in as much. She is a VERY high maintainance kid (to quote a friend...) and she gets my household a little nutty sometimes. I may be a nut, but the overall tone of our house is calm and mellow. And sometimes, I just want time with my kids - me and them. To boot, M had strep throat this week, so I wasn't letting her in until she had been on the antiboitics for at least 48 hours. It just baffles me! And because she said something, I can no longer lie to myself that the mom just wasn't unaware of how much time M spends here. HOW FREAKING RUDE!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I can't even open my window curtains cause then they will know I am home and I get invaded. Isn't that just crap? Thank Heavens the rest of my neighbors are REALLY nice, are private and understand about personal space. Yes, I may sound like a bitch, but I'm not... well ok, I am but I'm a cool bitch not a STUPID BITCH (To quote another friend O'mine!) Sunday, February 27
Friday, February 25
Ok, I am not an insensitive jerk but...
by
welee
on Fri 25 Feb 2005 04:15 PM PST
I just read something that made me go WTF!!!!!! Ok, I hope this person does not read my blog and if any of you are offended, none is meant but....
If I were to find out that my teenage son (which I do not have) was molesting my under 3 year old daughter, we would not put off dealing with it cause we were on our way to Disney. That just sounds INSANE to me! You daughter is being molested by your son, but you do not want to ruin you family vacation by addressing it?????? What is wrong with that picture????Ok, I have not walked in this person's shoes and I hope that I never do. But I can say with no hesisitation, that if one of my kids were abusing the other and we find out - FUCK the vacation. The shit is being dealt with then and there. OMG!!!Ok, rant done. I do hope this family continues to get the help they need. Tuesday, February 22
Clarification...
by
welee
on Tue 22 Feb 2005 04:14 PM PST
Ben brought up the subject last night, not me. I do not hound him about it. But it is something we have been discussing especially in light of what happened.
I do find it it interesting the mix of responses tho. And as always, I appreciate the different point of view. Also, Ben read last night's entry. He asked if he could. I wouldn never write something about him that I'd not say to his face. Just sometimes it is easier to get the thoughts out there with the written word. I also know that he would never purposely hurt me - but logic and the heart do not always see eye to eye. When my feeling are hurt, I am writing from emotion. I appreciate my husband and I love him very much, but that does not mean that he can't make me angry from time to time and/or hurt my feelings. Like any healthy marriage we are going to have differences in opinions. It just happens that this particular issue is an importnat one. So it involves moe because there is more at stake. It's like everything else in life - pick and choose you battles. This is one worth pursuing. At the end of the day, I am a very lucky woman with a wondeful husband and two amazing kiddos. I know that and I thank God for that every day. But it's true, I am a little selfish and I want just a little more (about 7 lbs 10 oz...). Have a good one, I am off to get ready to make some money! |
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