Those of you who know me and read my blog, know I am on a spiritual journey.  My eyes are opened and I feel blessed in the gifts/awareness/freedom I am finding.  The path I am following is one that is right for me and my family.  The shoe fits.  I am spiritual and I know I am a good person.  However, that said, just cause this is the correct fit for me, Ben, and the kids - does not mean that it is for everyone.  Can I tell you how much it freaking pisses me off when I read stuff about different religions claiming they are the ONLY true one.  I mean, how f-ing conceited.  Why in the world would there be such a plethora of choice if only ONE is correct and everyone else be damned???!!!  So what, those of us who live our lives being good, honest, decent people will go to hell cause we aren't members of the cool club?  WTF?  It is like my big prob with Judaism, when we were told that men with un circ'ed penises won't get into Heaven.  So Ben and Kit, as good hearted as they are are condemned FOREVER?  Yeah, uh, no.  Do not agree.  Will not accept that nonsense.

People have the right to believe that.  And if that makes them happy, that is fine.  I am OK with agreeing to disagree.  And I can like people even when we do not share the same opinion.  However, this is my blog and I am stating that I find that so totally baffling and it makes me so angry!

The second thing that drives me totally bonkers is that we are all born into sin.  My children are born into sin.  Uh, I have to say no, I do not agree with that one.  Sorry.  Does not sound right.  Not embracing that.  Not teaching that to my children.  Why would I embrace something that basically would make me feel like I am never good enough????  I can do that to myself all on my own if I want to - and I do not. 

Anyway, reading is a good thing cause it certainly puts things into perspective for me.  Everyday I am sure that I am on my right path.  Ben feels it, I feel it and so do the kids.  I am so comforted by the love of the Goddess and God, Mother and Father, Yin and Yang.  I feel it from with in and I feel it around me through out the universe.  I can live my life by being the person I want to be.  I teach my kids to be the best they can be, know right from wrong, and to lead by example.  And we can feel good about ourselves at the same time.

End Rant....

was supposed to be a video of the kids, but there is a problem with the link.  Webmaster Ben is working on it, so hopefully I will be able to post it soon.  Look for Lights, Camera, Action, Take 2.

Anyway, I was putting away the Christmas decorations (inside ones).  They go in the lower basement.  Ben helped me clean out some junk down there.  One of the things we decided to get rid of was the big baby swing.  Susanna is now 24 lbs.  Need I say more?  LOL.  Well this upset Sam very much.  I asked her why.  She replied that we were going to need that for the baby boy that I was going to have in 6 years.  I guess that is how long it will take for my tubes to reconnect, lol.  So if I end up pregnant in 6 years, be assured it IS a boy and Sam said it first.  It makes you wonder.  She did predict 2 months before I got pregnant with Susanna that I was going to have a baby girl.  Rember Ann-Susie?  Can you imagine?  I think I'd fall over if I ended up pg at age.... well too darned old, lol.

December 26th, 2003 at 9:06 AM, my beautiful boy entered this world.  His birth was the easiest and most pleasant experience of my life and he has been ever since.  Kit is such a joy in my life.  He is kind hearted and sweet.  This year for Christmas he told Santa he wanted a fan for Mama and Susanna.  When Santa asked what he wanted for himself, he said nothing - just the fans for Mama and Susanna.  (Since we took out the window unit air conditioners, he thinks they are missing...)

Kit always has time for a cuddle, hug and a kiss for Mama.  He is growing up so fast which makes me happy, but sad too.  I know before I know it, my little boy's cuddles, hugs and kisses will be grown up cuddles, hugs and kisses for some lucky girl out there.  *sigh*  Poor Mama!

Happy 3rd birthday to my darling boy!  I love you more than I could ever say.

Christopher woke up the other night from a nightmare.  I calmed him down and cuddled him while he fell asleep.  He was half way between sleep and concsiousness when he turned to me and said, "Mama, I picked you.  I picked Dada too.  I wanted you.  I got in my boat and came across the occean to get you before the other kids did.  I wanted you to be my Mama."

Can we say AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

BTW, HI TAMMY!!!!!

I was tagged by myself.

On the 1st day of Christmas, my sister gave to me, a brand new baby nephew.

On the 2nd day of Christmas, Tiffini gave to me, a spouse for each of my children.

On the 3rd day of Christmas, Carie gave to me, a live audience for my boobie web cam show.

On the 4th day of Christmas, Laura gave to me, advice on my aches and pains while preggo.

On the 5th day of Christmas, Michelle gave to me, tempation to join her on the dark side.

On the 6th day of Chrismas, Kristin gave to me, comfort in knowing that I am not the only one who thinks Natural Born Killers was funny.

On the 7th day of Christmas, Jess gave to me, directions that did NOT get me where I was going.

On the 8th day of Christmas, Leanna gave to me, "I had you at hello" and where I got to see the one arm butt monkey.

On the 9th day of Christmas, Linda gave to me, a constant voice of reason with an occasional use of the word fuck.

On the 10th day of Christmas,  Suzanne gave to me, genuine kindness, compassion and interest in my life. 

On the 11th day of Christmas, Aritha gave to me, a confindant to dish Big Brother and Amazing Race with when ever I want to.

On the 12th day of Christmas, my husband gave to me, a life full of love and the three best children in the world.

And I tag myself.

(So what comes first, the chicken or the egg?????)

My nephew is HERE!!!!!!!  Announcing....

Mathew Evan

December 13, 2006

12:39 AM

6 lb 4 oz

19 inches

Now I am off to Altoona!

My sister is in LABOR!!!!!  I have never been so excited over someone else's labor, lol.  I will get to give this little baby lots of love with out doing any of the work.  And when he gets older, my kids can rile him up and then we go home - ha,ha.

So tomorrow Ben will leave work early and I will be traveling to western PA to good ole Altoona. 

Now if I can only get to sleep tonight.

Sam's swim instructor pulled me aside last week and told me that Sam often does not listen and that she is challenging.  She can do the work but does not want to.  I asked for an example and she said that when they were practicing a stoke, Sam stopped and said, "I don't want to do it this way.  Mermaids don't swim like this."  I tried not to laugh out loud.

Over the course of the week I thought about this.  Let me back up by saying that this particular teacher never impressed me.  She never smiles and always has a look on her face like she just ate a bunch of lemons.  Further, I have always gotten great feedback from Sam's teachers at school, for the past 3 years, about how polite she is and what a good student she is.  Something did not jive.

This week I decided to sit and watch her class.  Usually I will do something with Kit and Susanna - but this week I put them in child watch to play so I could watch Sam.

As usual the teacher had the sour face on.  I did notice that she always makes Sam go last.  Sam is slower.  She would constantly tell Sam that she was doing something wrong and then kind of move her thru the water to get done.  What really irritated me was that often she treated Sam like she wasn't trying, when it was evident she was trying, she just wasn't getting it.  This was when they were working on the breaststroke, which is not an easy stroke to master.

Many times the teacher was telling the others to do something else and leaving Sam behind and then getting irritated cause Sam was not doing what the others were.  I felt my blood begin to boil!  But, I was going to stay calm in front of Sam and try to make this fun for her. 

I would catch her eye when she was swimming and give her a thumbs up.  She would beam from ear to ear and give me a thumbs up too.  When she was waiting to get in the water while the teachers were off with the others, I would go to her and whisper something positive in her ear like, "You swim beautifully like a mermaid.  I think you are just the best.  Now when it is your turn, let me see you best mermaid swim."  Again, this would make her smile.

I am going to say something to the head of the swim department after Sam's last class next week.  I want to wait til she is done, so the teacher does not bring it out on her if it gets back to her.  And let me tell you my thoughts on why I am going to say something.

First, kids function best off positive reinforcement.  There are many ways to do this even if the child isn't getting the stroke.  "Good effort John Doe!  Now next time try doing X and it will be even better."  "Great energy Sally Somebody!  You try so hard!"  "Much better Billy Bob - you are really trying!"   When kids feel empowered, their whole demeanor changes and their confidence grows.  Second, this class if about having fun and confidence.  I mean, c'mon, it is an advanced class... but for 3-5 year olds.  If Sam was that talented with this that she was going to be an Olympic swimmer, we'd find a trainer and such.  Puh-lease!  This class should be fun.  For us, the main thing we wanted was for Sam to have fun and to help with her fear of putting her head under water.  (Residual fear from her accident...)  Third, a teacher of kids should smile and like her job.  If I can tell from 50 feet away that she does not, trust me, so can the kids.

Ben laughed at me staking out the swim class, but I do not care.  When it comes to my kids, I do not care if I am a PIA.  I do not expect them to be pandered to and I know how to let them learn by their mistakes but at the same time I WILL make sure they are treated with respect.

Momma Wendy is on the prowl.  MEOW!  

Yep, I'm your mommy babies!

I was talking to a very good friend of mine recently.  She and I are soul sisters and often are at similar places at the same time in our lives.  We were discussing religion.  She has recently found a fit in Gnostic Christianity like I have found my fit with Wicca.  I asked questions of her cause I had not heard of Gnostic Christianity.  You would think that it would be polar opposite of where I am - yet surprisingly is not.

Both were big on living life in a way that does not hurt others.  They agreed on being accepting of other.  I called them both pacifistic.

It made me think about the term "God" and how it equates to religion.  I believe, that God in most religions is pretty similar.  I believe God is loving.  He/she is there to support and help us grow.  In many ways God is like the proverbial parent - guiding force.  Specifics may be different how ever.  To some God is in heaven over seeing all.  Others may see God as energy and a state of consciousness.  And then there are those like me that see the whole higher power being made of both feminine and masculine sides - call it yin/yang - God and Goddess - two parts of the whole. 

What saddens me is when people, of any denomination take their religion and use it as an excuse to be ugly, intimidating or just mean.  I do not understand the religions that say believe as I believe or you will burn.  Why would God make so many choices if there was only one right causing most people to burn in hell?  Does not make sense to me.

I think anyone who is true to their religion, what ever it may be is inspirational.  I think true devotion is a beautiful thing.  And I think the different ways people can be and the diversity of religion is quite amazing.  As much as I am finding myself in Wicca - I am reading just about everything about religion in general that I can get my hands on.

One of the wonderful things I am really liking about Wicca is the expression "What ever works!"  Basically as long as you follow the Wiccan Rede - "An Ye Harm None, Do What You Will."  This being said, I doubt there are many Wiccans exactly alike anywhere, lol.  That works for me being I like to ask questions.  It also lets me incorporate the things I find close to my heart from both my Jewish and Catholic upbringing.

I recently read in one friends blog - this blogger is a pretty devote Christan, altho I am not sure of what denomination - that she tries to hate the sin and the person. I take that to mean, that even when she does not agree with a choice or a belief that someone has, she still tries to keep an open mind and heart to the person and may like them anyway.  It's the old concept that friends can agree to disagree.

For me, I like the way I am feeling.  I am connected to the earth.  I find strength and power in seeing the magic and wonder in nature.  The cycle of life makes sense to me, like the changing of the seasons.  A higher power that consists of a mother and father, a Goddess and God, feminine and masculine - that makes sense to me. 

Ben is so amazingly on the same page as me.  This in itself is such a gift.  When we tried belonging to the Temple, I know he always felt like a fish out of water.  He did it for me - but it was forced.  The day I said we were done, he cheered.  With his Celtic background, this is so up his ally in how he was raised.  With the kids, I will share this with them, but we will teach them about lots of things.  They will know about all the religions that there family comes from and then probably some.  When they are old enough to know their heart, they will be able to decide for themselves what they believe.

Well, that is enough ramblings.