To have a baby.  So pick a date and lets see who is closest.  If all else fails, this little girl is being evicted March 3rd.  So anytime between now and then is game for a bet.

I love feeling her grow, but I am sick of being pg.  I miss my neck, my ankles, the ability to tie my own shoes.  I live at the dcotors.  I miss being able to sleep lying down and walking with out pain every single second.  Being that I am larger than several whales, my ruptured disk is throwing in with my pelvic problems and I am just a one woman freak show.... GD, Pg induced hypertension, too much amniotic fliud, SPD...   Want the baby to be cookeed enough and healthy... but once she is... GET OUT!  LOL.

I try not to bitch too much IRL.  Life goes on with the kiddos and their activities.  Still working, still teaching Sunday School, still taking care of everybody.  Ben has been good with helping with the kiddos and around the house.  A little help, makes a big difference.

However, I know some IRL people near me that need to be hit with the stupid stick.  Let's see, there is a 17 year old complaining that she didn't want to clean the fridge at work cause her back hurt but wanted to know if I'd do it.  UM, THAT WOULD BE A NO!  Then there is another IRL person who hurt her shoulder dancing.  She went to the doc and they said to get an MRI and RX-ed PT.  Depending on the damage would depend if surgery was needed.  She has lost no range of motion, so personally, I think altho it hurts, surgery is not going to happen.  Then goes on complaining about the pain and how she just is not up for surgery... blah, blah, blah...  This person knows I am having a c-section very soon and all.  I wanted to scream SHUT UP YOU STUPID COW,  But, I did not.  I mean, you'd think that maybe one friend or family who lives close by might call to see if they could help me out instead of calling so I can listen to them moan?  Right? 

I am determined to keep things with the kids as normal as possible and still do things.  It hurts, I don't want to, I want to sit with my feet up... but I do not.  For example, today I scheduled a playdate for the kids.  Sam was really looking forward to it.  I got my ass up and everyone dressed and in the car and there on time.  Well, my friend forgot and was not home!  Poor Sam, just sobbed, so dissappointed.  (I took the kids out to TRU and we made a morning of it instead but still...).  Do you think I wanted to go out in the morning, when I had to waitress that night?  NO.  But, I did cause as a parent you do things like that.  You;d think my friend could remember or maybe write the date on her calander or call if she needed to cancel?  WTF is wrong with people??????????  (I did call another friend today and set up another playdate for Sat instead...) 

I can honestly say, my normal patience and empathy is just gone.  Please do not call me if it is just to complain.  I just do not have it in me to be my normal sounding board.  Where is Homey the Clown when you need him to give someone a good sock beating?  (This is not directed to anyone who reads my blogs BTW...)

I am going to stop bitching now.  I will throw out a thanks to both Tiffini, Laura and Carie for listening to my moaning lately.  I really appreciate it!!!  Have a good night everyone.  Sleep well in your beds and get some Zzzzzzz's for me!

Sam wanted to know as she was sitting on the toliet, "Mama, why do BIG poops have to go through a small butt hole?"

Any responses?

And it looks ok for now, so that is good.  However, I have swelled even more (3  more pounds in 2 days) and BP is up.  So as of right now I have pg induced hypertension.  We have to keep a close eye on everything to make sure that it does not turn into pre e.  Good news for now.  It is just weird cause I have never had high BP and I do not like the feeling or the look of being this bloated.  I feel SOOOO unattractive right now.  I have no neck, no ankles... blech!

That's it for now!

We took the kids to see Hoodwinked last night.  I was going to take them on my own, but when Ben heard we were going, he wanted to go too.  Luckily he was able to leave work a little early and join us.  Ben never thought Kit would make it thru the whole movie - but he did!  Both kids were great and it was a really fun night.  We snuck in our own candy.  I just can not fathom paying 4.00 for a candy bar, when I was able to get everyone's candy and drinks for 7.00 elsewhere.  But we did splurge on a large popcorn.  Something about the movies requires a bucket full of popcorn.

Sam was memorized the whole time.  She just sat there with her eyes wide open, slowly poppin skittles in her mouth.  Kit sat in his seat most of the time, but occasionally wanted to sit on my lap.  I never mind cuddles from the boy. 

The movie itself was pretty good.  Ben and I enjoyed it as much as the kids and lets face it, many kids films are a little boring, lol.

Now onto not so fun things.  I am really not feeling well.  My blood pressure 2 weeks ago went from 100/55 on a reg basis to 124/74.  Then last week at perinatal I asked them to retake it and it was 108/70.  Still in the range of normal, but high for me.  Perinatal asked if I was having any other problems.  Not knowing what they were looking for, I told them how I was feeling.  I have been having pain under my rib cage on the right side.  I know it is not my galbladder cause I do not have one anymore.  I have also been having trouble focusing at night.  The said it sounds like it may be the beginning of pre e.

Last appt I had no protein spilling, but since then I am having trouble focusing more often.  Reading the computer is a bitch.  I am also getting more headaches that are not going away.  My fingers were so swollen today that my ring was stuck.  Now granted I did have a little popcorn yesterday....  I am getting more nauseas on a reg basis - esp when I work.  I am getting dizzy then too.  I thought it was my sugar getting low, but now I do not know.

I go to perinatal tomorrow for a NST and I have a reg OB appt on Tues.  So my BP  will be checked and on Tues they will look for protein.  I just do not have a good feeling about this.  I am almost 37, I am GD on meds and in both prior pgs, my BP NEVER changed, so this is big for me.  And with 2 kiddos at home, wanting to still work, no family close by or very reliable, this would suck.  I'd hate for Ben to have to use all his vacation now and have none for when the baby gets here.  At the end of the day, I will do what is best for baby and me.  It just sucks and I am so tired of feeling badly.

I feel like all I have done lately here on my blog is bitch.  Is everyone sick of me yet?

The scene: Work, at the end of the night after a very busy evening.  Back hurts.  Legs hurts.  Body hurts.

Characters: Me and my male boss.

Boss said, "Hey Wendy, how much have you gained this pregnancy?"

I replied, "About 40 pounds."

Boss said with wide eyes, "WOW, that's a lot!"

I explained, "Well, I never gain a lot until my diabetes comes back.  Then it just piles on.  I am not worried.  The baby weight always comes off.  It's just the extra weight that I had beforehand, that needs to go once the baby is here and I am done nursing."

He stated, "Oh you will NEVER lose that with out surgery."

I laughed, "Um, y'know JXX, I used to be really skinny once upon a time, like a size 8."

He further clarified, "Yeah I know. but you'll NEVER be that again with out surgery."

I shook my head, "Really?  Thanks."

Yes, I was 30lbs overweight when I got pg this time and I have put on a lot of baby weight.  I am in my 3rd trimester and I KNOW a lot of it is bloat cause I can make hand prints in my hands and feet that last.  I can't find my neck.  I haven't seen my feet.  I can't sleep.  I feel stinky and leaky and gross.  Y'know ladies, that lovely, I am just so lovely feeling - NOT!  This is JUST what I wanted to hear at the end of a busy, PIA shift.  LOL.  Stupid man....

Which is short for Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction.

"The symptoms of SPD vary from person to person, but almost all women who have it experience substantial pubic pain.  Tenderness and pain down low in the front is common, but often this pain feels as if it's inside.  The pubic area is generally very tender to the touch; many moms find it painful when the doctor or midwife pushes down on the pubic bone while measuring the uterus (fundal height).  

Any activity that involves lifting one leg at a time or parting the legs tends to be particularly painful. Lifting the leg to put on clothes, getting out of a car, bending over, sitting down or getting up, walking up stairs, standing on one leg, lifting heavy objects, and walking in general tend to be difficult at times. Many women report that moving or turning over in bed is  especially excruciating.  One woman wrote, "There were days that I didn't think I was going to be able to get out of bed and actually had to roll out of bed and onto the floor to be able to do so!" 

Many movements become difficult when the pubic symphysis area is affected.  Although the greatest pain is associated with movements of lifting one leg or parting the legs, some women experience a 'freezing', where they get up out of bed and find it hard to get their bodies moving right away--the hip bone seems stuck in place and won't move at first.  Or they describe having to wait for it to 'pop into place' before being able to walk.  The range of hip movement is usually affected, and abduction of the hips especially painful."  

To summarize, SPD is the mild form of this problem.  Its symptoms often include one or more of the following:

• pubic pain
• pubic tenderness to the touch; having the fundal height measured may be uncomfortable
• lower back pain, especially in the sacro-iliac area
• difficulty/pain rolling over in bed
• difficulty/pain with stairs, getting in and out of cars, sitting down or getting up, putting on clothes, bending, lifting, standing on one foot, lifting heavy objects, etc.
• sciatica (pain in buttocks and down the leg)
• "clicking" in the pelvis when walking
• waddling gait
• difficulty getting started walking, especially after sleep
• feeling like hip is out of place or has to pop into place before walking
• bladder dysfunction (temporary incontinence at change in position)
• knee pain or pain in other areas can sometimes also be a side-effect of pelvis problems
• some chiropractors feel that round ligament pain (sharp tearing or pulling sensations in the abdomen) can be related to SPD

I asked for something to help me sleep cause with this I have not been sleeping at all.  Well God love my doc, she wrote me a script for Tylenol with Coedine!   I still had to swtich a ton from bed to chair and chair to bed, but at least I did get some sleep.  The nights I wait tables, I am in so much pain afterwards - I can not even describe.  This I think is the worst pain I have ever experienced, labor included and don't forget I was in labor with Sam for 26 hours.... So I do not say that lightly. 

Oh the joys of being a woman, lol.  Seriously tho, if I have to have pain, carrying a baby is sooooo worth it!

Well, I followed Jen's advice and gave Ben a 12 hour detail of my life.  He looked at me kind of strange when i handed it to him, but, I explained it was to help him understand where I was coming from.  I didn't want him always thinking I was having a go at him.  He didn't say much about it, but he did get more helpful afterwards.  So here's to hoping the lightbulb did go off!

The rest of the day after Christmas was very nice.  It was Kit's 2nd bday.  I can NOT believe my boy is 2!  Sam, Kit and I made a bday cake.  It kids are too funny when we bake.  They LOVE eating the batter and end up wearing almost as much as we put in the pan.  After the cake was cooled and iced, the kids had a blast decorating it with M&M's and Hershey Kisses.  I made a pinapple glazed ham for dinner.  Ben also left work early.  It made for a nice day. 

We also got done making the kids bday party invatations.  We are going to have a joint bday party for them in Feb (late for Kit and early for Sam).  Sam's bday is 10 days after my scheduled section and I just do not seeing making a bday party then.  She does not mind ahving it early and is excited to share a party with Kit.

Then yesterday, we had to take Kit to the doc yesterday.  He spiked a fever over the past few days.  Looks like he has an ear infection.  The good news is that he is now on antibiotics, so in another day, he should be better.  I stayed with Sam while Ben took the boy.  She was sleeping.  When she woke up, she was so upset that Kit was not here.  She insisted that I get her a picture of him cause "Baby Kit is the best and I love him SOOOOO much."  I was like awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....  They may squabble, but they do really love each other to pieces.

My sugars have been going up.  I think it is a combo of being more pregnant and all the freaking Chirstmas goodies in the house.  I think I am golng to dump half the crap right in the trash.  I just do not want them to get so high that I have to go back on insulin.  It has been nice avoiding it this pregnancy!

Last night at work, it was slow so I sent the other girl home.  Then of couse we filled up.  I went from having $11.00 in my pocket at 7 to having $100.00 at 9.  Can I tell you how much I am beginning to feel it now.  My legs, my pelvis and my back were on fire by the end of the night.  It hurt so much that I could not sleep at all last night.  It was my turn to get up with the kids, but I was in no shape to do it.  So at 6 when Kit woke, I woke Ben up and made him do it.  I usually would never do that, but I figured screw it, I am allowed to ask for help.  So I did.  He grumbled, but he got up.  Yeay for me for asking for help!  My right leg is still a mess today, I am hobbling around like I am 1000 years old.  I am hoping the more I move, it will loosen up.  I am scheduled to work tonight and I hate to give up the money.  Oh well, the more I hobble, the more people will feel bad for the big ole pregnant lady and then will tip me, not for my skill but out of pity!  LOL!

I am off now to go play with the kiddos!

• I have been feeling really tired, not myself, and at the end of my rope lately.  I think part of it is I am 7 and half months pregnant.  I also think Ben has been busy with his new position and everything in the house has all fallen to me as well as normal day to day and my own work while being pregnant.  With the holidays, I have been busy getting everything ready, cleaned, cooked, wrapped and decorated.  Not to mention that I have been getting ready for the baby - going thru all the old clothes and stuff.  Going thru the attic was a 3 day job - I spent 11 hours the first day alone.  I have not bitched, complained, asked for help or any extra consideration even with being preggo.  I have even picked up extra shifts and made time to sell things on Ebay to try to help ends meet and cover the extra costs of Christmas.  I went to Sam's school play by myself, with Kit, video in one hand, camera in the other so that Ben would not miss anything.

Last week, I had gotten pissed when he didn't put back my 409 and it took me 30 mins to find it, left the kitchen a freaking pit from when I worked the nite before, dishwasher full and I was trying to get the kids ready and out by 8:30.  I called him on the phone and told him that I had HAD it and I needed some help.  He was too busy to call me all day at work.  Pissed me off even tho he is in retail and I am sure he was really busy.  Friday night we went out but never really talked about it cause we were out on a date and God knows we do not get a lot of them.  So I mentioned again that I feel not like myself and on edge.

The day of Sam's Chirstmas concert, I had made video of the concert and of some stuff afterwards.  I asked him to watch it but something always came up and I guess he couldn't find the 10 minutes to do it.

Fast forward today... when we were showing my mom Sam's concert on the video, he taped over the past after that I had taped with Christmas this morning.  I was pissed and it really hurt my feelings.  It is not the end of the world, but I think because I have been feeling so taken for granted anyway, that I just saw red.  I gave him a hard time about it in front of my mom.  I know I shouldn't have, but I was so mad.  He left the room and went up stairs.

My mom then said that I shouldn't have done that (which I knew).  Ben is a good guy guy and has a lot on his plate now with a new job and a new baby coming (really?  And I don't?)... I bit my mouth.  But I wanted to say and how much more am I supposed to freakling bend cause I already feel like a soft pretzel.  We spend LOTS of time talking about his new job and discusing things... 

So my mom went down to the playroom with Sam and I went upstairs to apologize for saying something in front of my mom.  I told him I knew I was wrong.  But when I tried to explain why I acted out of character, we just argued.  Luckily my dad and Kit were both sleeping and my mom and Sam were still in the basement (playroom).  I do not even know if I can explain how it feels.... it's like he regugitates what I say yet somehow I am coming off as just having a go at him and he is a martyr... "I never do anything nice for you...."  When all I want him to do is put himself in my shoes for 5 minutes.  By the end we made up but I still feel really upset.  I love him and for the most part he is a really great guy.  I think the problem is that I make things too easy for him on a regular basis and he takes me for granted with out thinking about it.  In my mind, I say to myslef, stop doing so much... but that is how I am.  

But at the end of they day I am 7 and half months pregnant, busting my ass with the family, the house, the bills (I do them), doc appts (which are a lot cause I am high riskj) and work (which is waitressing so I am on my feet), getting ready for the baby (which I have done EVERYTHING myself so far...) and I have not asked for one ounce of help or special consideration.  Am I just being a bitch cause I at least expect him to notice or take the time to watch a 10 minute video that I made of the kids?  And lets not even talk about not being able to sleep cause the pain in my crotch actually wakes me up on the off hours when I am not up peeing.  I go back and forth between the sofa and a chair.

And then of couse, it felt great to bawl for an hour after I busted my ass to make Christmas nice for everyone.  Luckiily no one else expect him really knew.

On a happy note, the kids woke early and were thrilled with all their pressents.  When Sam saw how many gifts, she screamed on the top of her lungs, "OH MY GOD!"  She and Kit are still busy playing gleefully.  They were really happy with everything we picked and the when my parents showed up, it was like a second Christmas...

Kit has Sam's cold, only his is in his chest.  I am using the cold air vaporizor for him.  He has a well visiti on 1/2, so if his cold isn't better by then we are going to the doctor anyway.

So don't I sound like such a pathetic jackass on Christmas.  I can't help it.  I do love my husband.  He is not a bad guy, infact he comes home every night, does not do the bar thing, does not cheat, is good with not spending money and I know he loves me... but I still am not liking him so much right now.  I am so tired.  All I want to do is go to bed and pull the covers over my head for the next month. 

Hope everyone has had a nice, stress-free Christmas! 

Sam has had the nastiest cold the past few days.  No fever, just lots and lots of snot plagued her with a very red, sore nose.  I wasn't sure if she was going to be able to go to school today for her Christmas party and concert.

This morning, she woke, still with a cold, but much better, so we went.  The kids shuffled into the class when we got there as the parents went and sat in the pews, waiting.  After 30 minutes the kids came in.  Sam beamed and started jumping up and down as she walked when she saw me.  Momma, Momma, Momma, she mouthed.  I of couse got choked up and waved to my girl.

The kids assembled in the front of the church and sang 4 Christmas carols and rang jingle bells.  It was too freaking cute.  From the moment Kit saw Sam, all he did was laugh and clap his hands.  He just adores his big sister.  That worked for me cause it allowed me to video and take pictures at the same time.  Thank heavens for 2 hands, lol.

Afterwards, we had cookies and juice/coffee.  The school had Santa come too!  I thought Sam and Kit were going tio jump out of their skins with excitement.  I am so glad she was well enough to go today!

Here's a pic of the kids after the concert.

Today as I was leaving Sunday school, a lady was shocked to hear that I am pregnant.  I was like what???  She said that she thought I was just chubby.  Now understand that I am ALL belly (will post a belly shot tonight...).  You see my belly about 15 mins before the rest of me gets there.  There is NO WAY that you can not know that I am pregnant.  What a dumb ass....

Speaking of Sunday school, my class is so cute.  The kids have such a good time.  I have gotten a lot of compliements lately and there is now a 13 year old who wants to be my assistant.  Too funny!  I even got a present from one of my students.  I was like AWWWW... I thought it was really nice especially cause we only meet 2x a month. 

Today Kit came with us to give Ben a break.  With the holidays and his new position, he has been working a lot.  Kit was very good in class.  Today was a fun day cause we went over Chanukah and had a party.  Sam said her favorite part was the dreidels and the chocolate, lol.

I have now hit the part of pg where when I lay on my side, my crotch feels like it is going to fall off.  You know, that pounding, unrelenting pain.  So I have only been able to fall asleep in a chair and it takes me forever to get to sleep.  Then once I do get to sleep, I have to get up to pee... LOL... the joy of pg!  It's weird cause in 9 weeks, my baby is going to be here already.  Where has the time gone?????  I must admit tho, I am excited to meet this little wonder.  I already feel very close to her.  I think with each pg, I have mellowed and it has made it easier to bond while pg.  With Sam I was such an anal mess... everything worried me!

I think I am going to have a combined bday party for Sam and Kit in Feb (late for Kit, early for Sam...)  I just do not think I will be up to having a party when the baby is 10 days old.  Now I have to decided if I am going to invite all the family or if I am going to just do a kid do.  The thing is we have some kiddo cousins that I want to invite cause they are kids too, but then how can I invite one relative and not another... KWIM?  I also do not want to spend a bloody fortune.  But if we do it at home, how much am I going to want to do 2 weeks before the baby comes?  Decisons, decisions...

Time to get the kids down for a nap!  Thank God for naps or I think I'd be a total loon by now.  I think my nap is the best sleep I get all day!

Took this myself with a camera phone... will add a few more as soon as the MMS goes thru from my cell to my computer!

Ok, they just came thru...

And this is my fav!  Not bad for being both the photographer and the subject, LOL.  But, refering the my previous post?  Not pregnant, just chubby..... Oh  puh-lease!

So I get this bill from Perinatal today.  Understand before I go any further that I have had the same EXACT insurance for all 3 pregnancies and the same EXACT protocol has been followed.  So this stupid bill is for $10.00.  It is not a lot, but I wanted to know why I was getting a bill since I never had one from them before. 

I called my insurance first.  They were great.  They agreed that I pay my initial co pay and then everything is covered as long as I stay in network, which I do.  They told me that they were going to resubmit it and it would take 30 days.  Fine.

I then call the hospital to let them know that my insuracne was going to be reprocessed and they'd get their 10 dollars.  The woman was like, "Oh that won't be covered under your initial global payment."  (meaning my only co pay...)  Then she went on to say that I had other co pays over the years with the kids.  She then said that things like non stress tests have co pays too.  So I asked her to give me dates that I have paid co pays.  She listed one in 2002 and one in 2003 for NST.  I again stressed that I have NEVER paid a co pay to them.  Altho I have infact had to call my insurance to get payment to them when something was processed incorrectly.  She pressed that I have paid some NST co pays.  I asked for dates again.  She could not comply.  I then said that I have been gestational diabetic for 3 pgs now.  I have had more NSTs than I can count.  I would KNOW if I have been paying co pays.   I am pregnant, not stupid. 

She did not like that and started to speak.  I told her that I was done.  My insurance would pay them their 10 dollars in the next 30 days.  I was calling to be considerate, not be aggrevated and to have a Merry Christmas.  I then hung up.

I had to go to work, but even at work, I was still annoyed.  So when I got home I looked at the bill.  It seems now the docs list an office visit for every proceedure, so I see where the mistake happened.  HOWEVER, it shows that I made a $15,00 payment on 10/17 and a $5.00 payment on 11/25.  Understand, I HAVE NEVER PAID THESE PEOPLE and I do all the bills at home.  I am an anal pain in the butt about reconciling the checkbook every day - we have on line banking, so it is easy.  So now I am really confused.  It seems that they charged me a $15.00 co pay back in August but due to 2 mysterious payments, it brought my balance of my second co pay from $15.00 to $10.00..  Only I should not have a co pay beyond my first and I never paid these people. 

I am so confused.  Is there some other person paying my bills?  If so, pay the big ones, LOL.  Or is there another Wendy Lee who thinks she is paying for her bills only to have her amount creditied to me acct?  Or is the hospital just a bunch of stupid devil monkeys (sorry Wendi.... couldn't resist, LOL....)? 

I can say with certain that I will be )($#@@)(%@_$_+$#@ pissed if they try to charge me a office visit co pay for every non stress test when I never see a doctor...  Grrrrrr....  There you go.... no good deed goes unpunished.  And all this stress over 10 freaking bucks....

Night, night!

And made it to my u/s.  Yeay!  Perinatal was the emptiest that I have ever seen it.  I got there early and there was no one else waiting.  It was the same cardiologist that saw Sam.  She didn't remember me.  I told her that was fine because that meant two things.  First, that Sam's problem was not too bad.  Second, we were not a complete pain in the ass.  She laughed.

The baby's heart looked great.  She said that can't guarentee that there won't be a small hole cause the u/s pic is not perfect.  But it means that there is not a major problem.  She felt confident that everything was just fine.  That works for me!

The growth scan also was good.  Baby girl is indeed a baby girl.  She is now measuring two weeks ahead.  Not a surprise since the diabetes is back.  Her biggest things are her thigh bones and her head.  All of my family has big fat heads, so I am not that surprised.  Thick legs do not run in either my family or Ben's so maybe she is just going to have long legs.  At the end of the day, it all balances out so as long as she is healthy, I am fine with it.  She is already 2 lbs 11 oz.  Grow baby grow!

My next growth scan is on January 6th.  And we can definately put off the NST until I am 32 weeks.  Yeay, I get to make it past Christmas with out running back and forth to the hospital 5000x a week.  :)

Little girl Lee is definately a kicker and a mover.  She did not stop moving during both u/s.  I don't know if it is just her or cause she is my 3rd, but I definately feel her move waaaaaaay more than the other two.