The nurse called actually.  She said not to stress at this point.  If I have any other bleeding in the next 3 weeks, then I have to have a D&C.  I guess that means I actually have to have sex again, heaven knows with all of this I just feel oh-so-sexy...

It seems like lately all I have blogged about are bad things.  It just seems like health has not been at it's best in my house.  I have not blogged about one issue I have been having for awhile, but today I am going to because it is the root of my fear, thus this entry.... 

I have been having bleeding after sex.  I have had this in the past when pg, but being I am not pg, I decided to call my GYN.  They scheduled me for an appt.  At the appt, he tried to find my cervix, but after 20 mins or so with every speculum in the office, he could not find it.  It was way to high.  So he had me go in for a u/s.

The u/s itself was a PIA.  Being not pg, I had to drink a ton by 7:45 cause the u/s was sch for 8:30.  Well they were running behind and by 9:30 I told them I was going to wet myself.  Soon they called me in.  The u/s tech was having trouble getting all my uterus cause it was so long and big.  She was going to make me wait another 15 mins.  I was like, "uh, no cause I will pee on your table."  It was close to 10 by this point.  She said we could do a vaginal u/s and I didn't have to have a full bladder for that.  Why didn't they give me that option to begin with!!!!

During the u/s she told me that my uterus is over 2 cm bigger than normal and then let it slip that there was fluid in it.  When I asked what they meant.  She got very evasive and tried to back step and say they didn't learn about that at u/s school.  From that point on, she didn't really tell me anything else, but became much nicer.  After I got dressed, she walked me to the door, the outside on of the building and pressed on me to call my doctor soon for the results.  It was odd, but at the time I wasn't really thinking about what it meant.

That night after work, I put my symptoms into google, just to see what came up.  I often do this to get a heads up.  Well I wasn't expecting the answer I got. 

Before I go further let me preface that I KNOW that a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing.  I also know that I could be completely wrong and all this worry can be for nothing.  Unfortunately logic and emotion do not always connect.

Well these two things are symptomatic of cancer in the uterus, specifically the lining.  My find immediately flashed to my uncle who was diagnosed with cancer and died 3 weeks later (pancreatic) and my great grandmother died on uterine cancer.  Altho I am not post menstrual (a big factor with this), I have PCOS, I am overweight, I was GD (diabetes a factor) and I have high estrogen (after births).

As my mind began to reel, I decided to cross reference asthma with this tidbit of information.  We still have not been able to figure out what has triggered my asthma to be so bad (this is the worst it has ever been).  And some women who have asthma, it gets worse when hormonal things happen.  Oddly enough, my bleeding issues and asthma started around the same time.

I am waiting on my doctor to call me back.  I am pretty sure that he will schedule me for a D&C.  They can test the cells and fluid to see what it going on.  The u/s tech let that slip.  So here I wait.

Again this may be nothing.  However, at my age, cancer is a word that I never expected to hear.  I am trying not to let it overtake my thoughts.  But as I watch my kids, I can't even imagine that they could grow up with out a mother.  (Things being the worst that it...)  All I can hope that IF there is a problem, we caught it early.  I would just tell them to take everything out and that G-d that I have the 3 wonderful kids that I do have.

I can deal with the prospect of a hysterectomy.  I can deal with the thought of chemo and/or radiation - no hair and all.  I can not deal with the thought of not being here with my husband and children.