Thanks to everyone for their support for my own personal hell earlier this week.  As I have had time to reflect, I realize how much worse it could have been.  A friend posted a link on the board how popping of the gears with Chrylsers and that happens to be the mini van we have.  Also, many of the stories in that article did not end so happy, so I am very, very lucky.  I am a little manic about where the kids are at all times, but hey, that is reasonable.  I am just so grateful that we are all ok.

This van has no damage that keeps us from driving it.  Body wise, it needs some work.  Normally a couple of thousand, but we found a friend of a friend who will do the work for about $550.  And he can't do it for about 6 weeks, so that buys us time to save and find the dollars.

I am not feeling so well.  Aside from normal pains of stunt womaning into the moving minivan, I think I may have pulled something from my surgery.  As soon as I came out of surgery, I had the most AWFUL pain on my right side, not by my incision, but higher, next to my belly button.  I could wake up out of a sleep crying cause it hurt so badly.  The doctors could not even touch it with out me yelping.  Since Weds., I have been having awful pain in the same spot.  It is not like at the hospital when I need Tylenol 3 and percocet rotated every 2 hours, but it is about the same as when I first got home.   Everything hurts, even raising my arm hurts my belly.  And I have this burning pain there as well as the constant.  My 4 week PP check is Tues, so I will tell my doc then.  I am sure I just aggravated it.  I am sure stunts are not part of a c-section and tubal recovery.

BIG NEWS:  Kit has pretty much potty trained himself as long as he is not in a diaper.  He even has been doing poops on the potty.  YEAY KIT!  I put him in a pair of Sam's panties today when we went outside to play and told him not to pee in them.  He started to pee cause he forgot, but then came to me so I could take him inside to the potty.  Tomorrow we will go and get him big boy underpants.  *Sigh*   They get big so fast!  Altho the thought  of no more diapers with him is great!

Other news:  My MIL is coming for a visit this June.  She  and Ben are pretty direct when dealing with each other and it seems to work for them.  Last time I worked like a dog, but never said anything until after she left.  This time, I am saying my expectations of Ben to Ben before she gets here.  Not in a mean way, just in a direct way.  Also, he will taking the whole time off, which I think will help.  Last time everything pretty much fell to me and it was too much.  And now I will have a 3 month old on top of everything else.  (Miss Susanna will be 3 months by then....)  I think it can be a nice visit.

SHOCKING NEWS:  Susanna turns 1 month tomorrow!  When the heck did that happen?????  Am I going to turn around and blink and suddenly she will be potty trained too????????

I am still shaking as I write this.  I put the kids in the car and thought I had them strapped well in their seats.  I then turned the car on so they could listen to the radio and I ran into the house for something.  Mother instinct set in cause I stopped what I was doing and mid sentence to Ben and ran outside.  I knew something was wrong. 

What I found was my car rolling down the driveway and into our back yard.  I ran like I have never run before sure that it had to be a surreal nightmare.  It was not possible that I was chasing my minivan with me 3 kids in and no adult.  The van started scrapping along the fence and I opened the passenger door.  I knew I had to jump to get in, which I did as the van was approaching the part of our yard which was uneven like a small embankment.  Kit was sitting in the passenger seat smiling.  I moved him out and got in the driver seat, applied the brakes and put the van in park.  Sam had unlatched her seat belt in her booster as well and was screaming in the back.  Susanna was in her seat quiet and looking around.

I am VERY lucky that the kids were completely unscathed.  I on the other hand, was shaking to no end.  Now later, I think I banged myself a little when chasing and jumping in the car.  A small price to pay.  A neighbor of ours pulled the van out and it seems to drive fine.  It was on a 22 degree angle on the front half of the car.  I am lucky I got it stopped when I did or it would have rolled over.  It had just started going down the embankment.  We are going to take it to the mechanic anyway tomorrow just to have it checked out.  God, I hope they do not tell me it is totaled, like the frame is bent or something.  There some scratches on the passenger side, but no dents and all doors open and close.

I keep looking at the kids wondering if it did them some hidden damage, I mean Susanna is not even 4 weeks old.  Ben keeps reassuring me that the van was not going fast, which it was not.  And when I stopped it, there was no back lash at all.  Kit, Sam and I were all not in our seat belts and no one whipped around.  Thank God Susanna was in her seat safe and secure.

Can I tell you what a f-ing lousy parent I feel like?  My kids could have been really hurt or worse.  What was I thinking, running in the house for I can't even remember now!  How can I trust myself to raise these 3 kids?  I do not deserve them.  I just want to go upstairs, crawl into a ball and die.  I always thought I was a good parent, yet these awful things happen.  So I must not be.  I just do not know what to do.  I can't even begin to describe the guilt and disgust I feel for myself right now.

So my Susanna brag yesterday about finally making baby birth weight is being retracted.  I weighed her again and she is down to 9 lbs again.  Grrrr...  I never had this problem with Sam and Kit.  Susanna will be 4 weeks on Friday (can't BELIEVE that!) and she is barely at her birth weight.  In all fairness, since I have started weighing her, she hasn't gained, but has not lost either.  She seems to fall with in a range that averages 9 lbs.   Her diapers are always wet and poopy, she eats all the time, she is alert, looks good... but I still feel like I am failing her with my bfing.  My milk is in and plentiful like usual.  I just do not know what to think.  I called the doc and left a message.  I am sure they will say come in and then suggest I supplement with formula.  I REALLY do NOT want to do that.  I just do not feel comfortable having my baby eat that stuff.  (I am not trying to make FF feeding moms feel badly.  I truly believe different things work for different families.  This is just how I feel about my child and what is best for my family)  But I also do not want to be neglectful or do anything harmful to my baby. 

Any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated!

That if you write about a person, but never name them or write anything that identifies them, in fact, they are the only one in the world that would know it was about them, that they can come back and threaten to sue you?  Yes folks, I got a letter from a person, who in my opinion, stole medication from my locked cubbard, because I caught them in my locked cubbard and then the medication was gone, stating that if I do not remove the posts I wrote about "a guest" who stole from me that they would sue me for monitory damages!  I personally belive this person does not have a leg to stand on and is beyond freaking mental.  I wish this person would find a life and leave me the )$%#@$(*#@ alone.

PS.  You can now leave comments without being a member!  YIPPEEEEEEE!!!!  Ben fixed it... good Ben, good Ben!

has FINALLY made her birth weight back.  It has taken a little over 2 weeks.  She has had plenty of wet and poopy diapers and she is alert and responsive.  She has no signs of not getting enough or dehydration, but the weight gain has been slow.  What is even oddier is that she nursed A LOT and I know she is getting milk by the wet diapers and my boobs.  I am hoping she has just grown in length (she does seem long to me).  This morning she weighed her birth weight of 9 lb 2 oz. 

I am not used to this.... both Sam and Kit porked up right away.  And I am hesistant to call the ped cause I know they will say supplement with formula and I am NOT doing that.  (At least not at this point)  Susanna has more wet and poppy diapers than I have ever seen.  Everytime I change her she is wet.  I guess all I can do is watch and then see.

Unrelated... we are still waiting on tech support to get back to us about fixing the comment section so you can post a comment with out logging in and doing the text stuff.  In the mean time, leave me a note on my tag board and let me know you were here!  :)

Yesterday was my birthday and I am now the big 37.  Good God that sounds old.  Funny tho cause I do not feel old and I yank any grey hair from my head so I do not look old.  Yesterday was nothing thrilling.  We were supposed to go to a birthday party for one of Sam's friends, but Kit woke up with a fever.  I suspect it is related to him cutting two year old molors (diaper rash, not wanting to eat, not letting me look in his mouth) but I couldn't be sure so we stayed home.  Lets see... I got to load the dishwasher, empty it, re load it... there were a few loads of laundry, the vacuum got run, the kitchen got messed up and cleaned up several times, the kids and I made my bday cake, I got to make all the meals, the kids got a bath, Ben was at work all day and when he got home, I got to make our dinner too.  Then we watched tv where Ben fell asleep and I got to make the wipes and get the baby set to go to sleep.  I was kind of irrated.  I knew he was tired cause he worked a long day and he had been really sweet a few days ago with my bday surprise... but I sort of felt like you could at least make me a cup of tea or something.  Oh well...  This morning he did take Sam and Kit out to play for a bit so I could have some time for myself and I know nothing yesteday was meant out of malice. 

Other thoughts:  Glad to be on my new blog.  The whole nonsense on my oold blog is a bit disturbing.  First of all, in my opinion, the one who will not be named is really mental.  It is bad enough my pain med went missing... but what is even more disturbing is that this person was having their friends stalk my blog and report back to them.  My blog tracker showed that one of them only lives 30 mins from me and that is flat out creepy.  Who is to say these people are not as mental as the one who will not be named?  I mean, we all bitch and what not on our blogs, but I do not think any of us would stalk some unknown person who pissed one of us off.  Can we say WEIRD?   The one who will not be named, has every right to say what they want about me - I really do not care - and if this person and their friends want to bash me on their own time, that is fine too.  But to come to my space and cause trouble is really weird to me.  The Patrick dude calls me a coward?  Maybe class and intelliegence is beyond his phoney lawyer butt to understand... but why would I argue and insight and lunatic who I will still have to see on occasion?  That is foolish.  I do argree that this person's response is one of a guilty conscious.  I also think the real reason this person freaked out was cause they do not know who I told and that scares the crap out of them.  Too bad for this person... it is pretty simple... I had pain med in my cabinet on Sat night, Sunday I had the kid's party and caught this person in my locked medicine cubboard, and then Sunday night my pain med was gone.   Gee, that is a tough one.... 

The kids are playing quietly for the moment and Miss Susanna is quiet, so I am going to take advantage of this moment and go to the bathroom ALL BY MYSELF!  Shhhhh.... don't tell the kids!  LOL!

Nothing fascinating to post yet.  Do you have any idea how long it takes to manually transfer 2 years of blogging over?  OY!  But I do not want to lose my old blog entries.

Kiddos are doing much better and getting along like old times.  Altho Kit is still favoring the word MINE and copying Sam.  That has been driving her NUTS!

Susanna is beginning to stay awake for longer periods during the day.  And she is also beginning to like the swing.  Both Sam and Kit LOVED it from the start; whereas, Susanna did not.  The three of them were hanging out last night in the living room.  Too cute!

Ben surprised me yesterday.  When I had everyone down for a nap, he snuck home and in the kitchen he left me 30 Mylar balloons, half dozen long stem roses, the sweetest card ever and some gardening stuff (which I love...).  It was early for my birthday.  He works all day on Sat and it is hard to leave on the weekend.  He wanted to do something special for me.  I was so blown away and happy.  I couldn't wait for him to get home from work so I could hug him!

The card is personal, but I am going to post what he wrote anyway cause it is really sweet. ...

I love you more now than ever before.  Two halves of a coin, inexplicably drawn together to compliment the other and remain forever joined.  We have traveled together, but I am glad to have found a home here and could not have hoped for a better friend, lover, wife and confidant.  Many great years will follow and I look forward to having you by my side.

Have a great birthday.

Thinking of you always.

Isn't that just awesome??????  It is too easy to complain about the annoying, when it is something like this that tells much more about who my husband is.

Enough for now.  Guess who is hungry for a change??? LOL!

5 things I do not like to do:

1. Dust
2. Put away laundry
3. Go to the eye doctor, specifically the eye drops.... blech!
4. Get up before 6 AM in the morning
5. Talk on the phone

I tag: everyone who has not already been tagged!

to blog that is...  I have been wanting to get here for days and even now I may have a few seconds, lol, before the muffin wants to eat again!  Susanna is a sweet, sweet baby.  She sleeps really well, eats really well, has only had gas badly a few times and even then she fusses more than she cries.  Ben called her colicky today when she was fussing in the swing.  I was like, "uh, no... don't you remember Sam WAILING on the top of her lungs for HOURS for the first 4 months..."  He was like, "oh yes... I do remember that..."

Speaking of Ben, he was so nice and called out today!  YIPPEE!!!!  The store was covered, so he was redundant, but it was still awesome and a pleasant surprise to have him home for the day!  Also when he was off, he built me shelves for the laundry room and we went out and got everyone their own little laundry basket and hampers as well as lingeree (sp?) bags.  This way I can do loads by the person with underwear and socks going on the lingeree bags (not losing anything that way) and when the laundry is done, I know exactly where it is going.  Sorting laundry was becoming a real PIA.  So this is cool!  And it has cleaned up my laundry area so much... before we called it "The Hole".

Back to Susanna... she LOVES to sleep on me, just like the older ones did.  Yesterday, she was in the sling for ages - all scrunched up and happy.  The sling I use inside constantly needs to be tightened.  Altho, I tend not to wear a shirt with it, so maybe that is it.  I like my outdoor one better (and yes I wear a shirt then...).  They are both cotton, I just find it easier to keep one in the car and one in the house.  Also, the rings end up being across my chest, but hey, I figure whatever works, works!  KWIM?

I taught Sunday School today.  It was nice cause Sam and I got some time on our own.  Afterwards we went to Dunkin Donuts to get some for the family.  Sam enjoyed being in charge of picking the donuts.  We chatted during the ride.  It was nice having some one on one time with her and she seemed really happy as well.

Kit has been getting his one on one time when Sam is in school and Susanna is sleeping.  He wouldn't sit with me in the big brown chair if I was holding the baby for a few days, but now is back to cuddling with me under the covers in the chair and now looks for the baby.   He likes to sit up and pet her arm occasionally as we sit. 

I have been letting the kids nap on the sectional while I nurse Susanna.  I find it easier that way cause I get everyone to sleep at the same time and then I am there when everyone wakes up,  If everyone is in their own room, I lose half my nap getting everyone down.  And then if someone wakes and I am nursing the baby, I have to disturb her and it takes me awhile to get to them.  This way works much better.  :)  Today on the big brown chair, I had Susanna nursing on one side, Kit cuddling on the other side and Sam sitting between my legs with her head on the boppy today for a farmily cuddle and chat time before naps.  Kit and Sam, then ran to their side of the sectional and we were off to sleep.  I can actually get Kit to sleep for more than an hour this way!  WOO HOO!!!!!  I also think it is a nice precursor to getting him used to falling asleep in the same place as Sam for when they will be sharing a room.

Speaking of Kit, he has been peeing in the potty when he is not wearing a diaper!  Well today he went to the potty and took off his diaper so he could pee and then later went back to poop.  His first poop in the potty!  He is not there yet, but he is well on his way to potty training himself.  YEAY KIT!  My kids always seem to be telling me when they are ready for the next step.  I think all kids have their own plans....

I am ok.  Still having pain on the right side and when I had my staples out, they kept commenting on how big my scar is.  Oh well.  I also had a yeast infection on the incision and over my thighs and belly.  Luckily so far, none on the boobs or the baby, so I count my blessings.

The little miss is now complaining she is hungry and I am beginniing to leak, so that is my clue....  More later....

 I can not believe that my little Samantha is already 4. A common feeling around here lately I am sure. I think with the birth of Susanna, it is even more pronounced cause when I look at the baby and then at Sam, it does not seem that long ago that Sam was the baby. And now she is all girl! She is mouthy and tenacious and will be the cause of every grey hair on my head. On the flip side, under the mouth (where does she get that from? *blush*), she is so sweet, sensitive and loving.

Yikes, the passage of time is so much quicker when looking through your children.

Happy 4th bday my sweet first born baby! Mommy loves you!

So there is the family!  We are very blessed, but very busy.  Both Ben and I are wondering how the heck we are going to do this, LOL.  Any words of wisdom from 3+ kiddo mommies out there is Blogsville?

1, Taking percocet for pain when very, very, very tired can make you forget you holding a baby.  To be safe, I will not take it anymore thus greatly increasing my pain level.  (BTW, nothing bad happened, but my mind thinks of all the what-ifs...)

2. Walking all over Walmart to get the shop done with a husband, one kid, one toddler and one 5 day old 5 days after surgery is foolish.  You end up sitting in the middle of the isle with you kids and cart after 45 mins while you send you husband to different parts of the store.

3. You know you look like complete shit when your almost 4 year old looked at you and said "Mama, I know your body feels bad."

"How?" I asked.

"Well..." she explains, "You look fat.  I mean very fat.  Yes, your body REALLY hurts.  You are so fat.  I mean you are fatter than a jungle hippo. You are that fat..."

"Thanks Sam."

She arrived 3-3-06 at 11:50 AM.  She has APGARS of 8 and 9.  She is just perfect.

The repeat section was rougher that Kit's.  I had an epi this time instead of a spinal.  With the spinal I felt nothing.  I can not say that this time.  And it was MUCH longer.  Ben stayed with me the whole time, even when they sewed me back up.  I would not have held up so well on my own.

Thank heaven for pain medication.  I really need it this time around.  And my feet are so swollen right now that you can not see my ankles at all and there is a crease where my feet meet my ankle.

Susanna is doing great.  She nurses like a champ altho has beaten up my nipples more than Sam or Kit ever did.  My milk is already in, I could feed a small nation.  I think my boobs are bigger than Susanna.  Really.  She sleeps very well (knock on wood...). 

Sam LOVES helping with the baby.  She got to feed Susanna a bottle of EBM last night, with Ben, and was in heaven.  Kit kisses and hugs her all the time, loudly shouting, MINE, MINE, MINE BABY!  Of course it will take time to get back in the routine of things.  We have all talked (well me, Ben and Sam) about how we all have to be patient and help each other out while we get used to our new family dynamic.  I am sure things will get nutty, but it will be a good nutty.

(I have cheated and copied this for boards....)

Soon to come...

Why are my feet the size of pluto?

Why does the body need to store enough poop to fill the grand canyon until we go after a section?  Is it necessary that my poop is a greater weight than my baby?

The injustice of pain of a c-section that is still keeping me from sleeping in my bed...

Why do doctors and hospitals try to PUSH formula feeding when breat feeding is so good and it is clearly what I want?  And I am SOOOOO endowed with milk?

Susanna is going to be retested for billirubin today.  She was at 12.7 when we left hosp yesterday. 

Even butt tired, how nice is it to take a moment, sit back and look at all 3 of your kids in the same room?  Sweet....

Amnio update:  Had amnio.  Was scared shitless before hand.  Having them before does not lessen the fear, LOL.  I had a great doc, couldn't really feel it.  Came back fast and good.  Baby Lee is ready to be evicted!!!!  WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DH brag:  It is easy to bitch about the annoying things that husbands do.  They say Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.  Well sometimes it seems like they are really from UR-Anus.  However,  they do sometimes do the most loving, sweet things. 

Ben and I have not been doing the deed.  I have been feeling such crap and he has been leaving me alone at night to get what sleep I can.  Well I have been having the most wild sex dreams.  Of couse I tell Ben about them and he is like, yeah me too. 

So yesterday we were out to lunch after the amnio and we were talking about not having sex and this pg being hard.  Then Iook at him and say sarcastically and jokingly, "What , you don't find all this sexy?"  And we laughed.  Later that night we were talking and I said that I feel really unattractive.  He looked at me and was geniunely surprised.  He thought I was just joking earlier.  I explained that I do not feel sexy at all.  I feel swollen, fat, stinky, gross, ugly....  The look on his face was so sweet and loving when he said that I still gave him that "special feeling".  I was like, yeah right, but thanks for lying,

I fell asleep in the big brown chair downstairs like normal.  When I woke up during one of my many bathroom trips, Ben had gone upstairs to sleep.  I was fine with that.  He has been getting up at 6 with the kids so I can get a little extra sleep and work has been busy for him.  Well later that night - around 2? - I was woken by Ben.  He came down to tell me and then show me about a dream he had just had,

Well you can use your imagination now because I am not going to get graphic.

But, I thought that was a very loving, tender thing to do.  I know that he got something from it too, LOL.  It was also very lusty.  But, the fact is, he got his butt out of bed, came down stairs to nicely wake me, spend some time together when he could have very well taken care of himself and gone back to bed.  He did it cause he knew I felt bad about myself and he wanted to show me that he still does find me sexy and attractive.

This may not make sense, but to me, this is such a nice thing to do.  It is an affirmation that he does really love me and that means more to me than words can say.  Married for ten years and almost 3 kids later, he still does love me,  Anyone who can look at a 40 week pg woman and still... well yes, that is love!

So you think it can't get any worse with fire ass and pelvis of pain.... until you catch the kid's sickness and find yourself coughing, sneezing, more cleaning of the pipes and barfing your brains out at 2 AM.  You finally get back to sleep at 4 when and then your youngest wakes up at 5 AM.  (Late you take him to the ped and find out the poor guy has an ear infection....)

I am NOT going to jinx myself and say what else can go wrong.  However, by this time next week, my baby will be out of me, I should be bfing her and taking lots and lots of good drugs.

But nice Wendy has gone away for the next 10 days.  Evil whiney, complaining and miserable Wendy is here instead.  So be forewarned, that most of what will come out my mouth will be much moaning and complaining with much self pity.  Understand, I have not slept more than an hour here and there for too long and there is no escape from pain.  So, my pity party is not completely with out cause.  But, it can get tiresome hearing the same person moan.  Thus the warning.

My OB is going to give me an RX for the fire hemroids on my ass.  Prep H and other OTC are doing nothing.  It was bad enough not being able to lay on my sides in a bed from the SPD.  But now I can't even sit in a chair with the fire coming from my ass.  And of couse, the pre baby cleaning of the pipes, does not help that at all.  They won't take the baby early and my contrx are progressing my very slowiy.  I alternate ice on my butt and super hot showers aimed at my butt.  I live on tylenol (with no codeine, thanks a lot relative thief....) every 4 hours and benadryl every night, trying to get some sleep.  Eventually exhaustion does beat pain, but only for a few hours before pain once again wins.  I know I only have 10 days max left, but I am not sure how I am going to get thru them, let alone function. 

I am trying so hard not to be a slug with the kids.  They really are so good and I do not feel like doing anything .  I keep hoping my OB will give me some abient so I can sleep, but they won't.  Grrrrrr....

So evil Wendy continues on.  Nice Wendy will be happy and back once little girl Lee is out.

Today I took the kids to CVS to pick up a few things.  As always, the kids walk with me.  I really do not use the stroller for them and have not for awhile.  There is nothing wrong with using one, but for my family, I like the kids to be able to walk and stay close by.  I feel the only way they learn this is by doing this.  So, we do not use a stroller.  When the baby comes, I plan on having her in the sling - so again, no stroller.  (Until the learning to walk age to about 1.5, where both Sam and Kit needed to be in a stroller, lol...)

So back to the story... we were in CVS.  As we shop, I tell them one item at a time what we are getting.  "OK kids, lets get dad some deodarant, it is down this isle," I say pointing to the isle. They will often run a little ahead and when they get to the item I tell them to stop.  I often ask them which item they like best and then decide on the best item for price.  Then it is off to the next item.

Today when we got to the check out, an older cashier who regularly works there said to me that I have great control over my kids.  They are two of the best behaved kids on a reguiar basis that she sees.  Most parents let there kids run a-muck.  It is particularly refreshing cause mine are so young.  I said thank you, but my kids are just good kids, so they make it easy.  She then said good kids come from good parents.  I smiled and said thanks again.

That just made my day.  We often hear such nasty stuff in life, it is so refreshing to hear something nice.  So I am taking a moment and shamelessly bragging about my well behaved kiddos.  YEAY SAM AND KIT!!!!!

Onto other stuff...

I have decided to tell my one relation about the Tylenol 3 thief cause she has young kids and they see the drug addict fairly reguarly.  I will do it in person and keep it low key.  Being she has kids, young kids, I feel that she needs to know.  And as far as the butt head who stole my pain med, I am just writing her off for good.  I will not send her a thank you for the kid's presents (altho I was very tempted to write "thanks for the kids presents.  Hope you found everything you needed..."),  I think no contact will be enough.  I can not prove it with physical evidence and this person has already proven themself in the past to be volitile and agressive.  I do not need that.  I just will never have her in my house or around my kids again.  She is OFF the list!  That there is the problem solved.  And it is no real loss anyway.

Thank you guys tho for the support and advice.  If I thought there was something to refuge, I might, but I think this woman is in denial.  Unless she is willing to admit she has a problem, she will never fess up and do the right thing.

Back to happier stuff...

Today;s NST showed baby girl doing great.  My fluid is gradually going down which perinatal said is good.  It means baby girl is practive breathing and peeing and doing all the stuff she should be.  Yeay!  And now is she comes, even with no amnio, they will not stop her.  Come on down Miss baby girl Lee!  Even if she lingers in the land of free rent, she will be here in 11 days.  If she lingers, I will enjoy my undistrubed evening TV time and if she comes sooner, I will be holding my sweet new baby.  Either way, I can deal.

Night!

We had the bday party today for the kids and they had a blast.  It was busy and lots of prep beforehand, but soooooo worth it.  Everyone had a great time and my water did not break *stomp foot*.

However, something unusual did happen.  We keep all RX and anything dangerous things locked in a cabinet in the kitchen that only opens with a special magnet.  I keep the magnet on the side of the fridge.  You have to know the exact spot to put the magnet or the cabinet will not open. 

On the bottom shelf, upfront, I keep the things I use on a regular basis... my prentals, Colace, Glubride (diabetic med), Cosamin DS (for ruptured disk), benadryl, kids vitamins and the Tylenoi 3 (for pelvis popping problem.)  I wasn't going to take any Tylenol 3 last night but I was in a lot of pain from getting ready for the party.  I then was thinking about taking 2, but decided on 1 cause I only had 5 left.  I do not take them every day.  A RX of 30 has lasted me over a month.  Anyway, I remember spefically putting them back in next to my Glubride cause I went back in and put 1 back. 

Well today a guest was in the kitchen when I went into the cabinet to grab a TUMS - an essential for any pg woman.  It was just me and her.   And then I shut the cabinet and put my magnet back on the side of the fridge.  I then grabbed some empty pizza boxes and took them outside to the trash.  The trash area is not far from the door.  When I came back in the house a few seconds later, I saw this guest in my medicine cabinet.  At first I was not sure what she was doing, but when she turned and saw me, she grabbed my TUMS bottle.  I thought it very weird, but shurgged it off.  Maybe my mind is too naive to think anything devious.

Well tonight i went in to get my meds ready.  (I have to space Glubride from prentals from Tylenol 3 ect...) To my surprise, my Tylenol 3 was missing.  I called Ben in to look with me cause I couldn't believe it.  We took everything out of that cabinet and it is NOT there.  Who would steal pain medication from a pregnant woman?  I mean WTF????????  I can't prove who stole it, but I KNOW what I saw.  I am still shocked as I sit here and blog about it.  I mean WTF????????   You come to my kid's bday party and help yourself to my pain meds?  What a sick, sad world. 

Needless to say, I will not be inviting this person over anytime soon.

If you want to know more, email me....

Tonight was my last night waitressing til after the baby comes.  I was going to work into next week, but I can not do it anymore.  It was SOOOOO freakling busy, good busy, but busy.  And there is something wrong, when the 9 mth pg lady can run circles around the healthy, thin 16 year old.  I made 120 more than the other girl I was working with.  I made a total of 190 in 4 hours.  It was insane.  I was sure I was going to die... When I actually told my boss that I was getting my last 3 shifts covered, he said "Thank God!  Now just take care of yourself and the baby...."  Altho he has a knack for saying the wrong thing, he really is a nice guy - both he and his wife are... I know that when I run around, he worried that I was going to go into labor.

I know I am a worker and not a slacker, so I know when I feel I have had enough, I have.  I figure making it with in 16 days of the date is pretty good.

Of course I am crippled right now and I have been having a lot of contrx.  I just got out of the shower thinking that would stall them.  So far, not, so I am going to time them.  This little baby is pretty tough putting up with me running around like a freak tho.  LOL.  And like a good girl, once I got home, she has moved lots between contrx.  Always reassuring.

Ben was a good sport when I got home and rubbed my feet.  Good man!

I am off to check on and kiss Sam and Kit.  I love to watch them when they are sleeping.  They are too sweet.

Before I go, Happy bday to Ari's Sean!  Can't believe we are into year 4!  Yikes!

Nighty night!

BTW, I can load everyone else's blog, but can not see mine for crap.  Go figure!

I had my u/s today and baby girls is currently 7 lb 15 oz.  The tech and doc that did the u/s are the same one's that did Sam before she was born and they were with in an oz.  Perinatal tends to be pretty good. 

The scene: Work, at the end of the night after a very busy evening.  Back hurts.  Legs hurts.  Body hurts.

Characters: Me and my male boss.

Boss said, "Hey Wendy, how much have you gained this pregnancy?"

I replied, "About 40 pounds."

Boss said with wide eyes, "WOW, that's a lot!"

I explained, "Well, I never gain a lot until my diabetes comes back.  Then it just piles on.  I am not worried.  The baby weight always comes off.  It's just the extra weight that I had beforehand, that needs to go once the baby is here and I am done nursing."

He stated, "Oh you will NEVER lose that with out surgery."

I laughed, "Um, y'know JXX, I used to be really skinny once upon a time, like a size 8."

He further clarified, "Yeah I know. but you'll NEVER be that again with out surgery."

I shook my head, "Really?  Thanks."

Yes, I was 30lbs overweight when I got pg this time and I have put on a lot of baby weight.  I am in my 3rd trimester and I KNOW a lot of it is bloat cause I can make hand prints in my hands and feet that last.  I can't find my neck.  I haven't seen my feet.  I can't sleep.  I feel stinky and leaky and gross.  Y'know ladies, that lovely, I am just so lovely feeling - NOT!  This is JUST what I wanted to hear at the end of a busy, PIA shift.  LOL.  Stupid man....

Which is short for Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction.

"The symptoms of SPD vary from person to person, but almost all women who have it experience substantial pubic pain.  Tenderness and pain down low in the front is common, but often this pain feels as if it's inside.  The pubic area is generally very tender to the touch; many moms find it painful when the doctor or midwife pushes down on the pubic bone while measuring the uterus (fundal height).  

Any activity that involves lifting one leg at a time or parting the legs tends to be particularly painful. Lifting the leg to put on clothes, getting out of a car, bending over, sitting down or getting up, walking up stairs, standing on one leg, lifting heavy objects, and walking in general tend to be difficult at times. Many women report that moving or turning over in bed is  especially excruciating.  One woman wrote, "There were days that I didn't think I was going to be able to get out of bed and actually had to roll out of bed and onto the floor to be able to do so!" 

Many movements become difficult when the pubic symphysis area is affected.  Although the greatest pain is associated with movements of lifting one leg or parting the legs, some women experience a 'freezing', where they get up out of bed and find it hard to get their bodies moving right away--the hip bone seems stuck in place and won't move at first.  Or they describe having to wait for it to 'pop into place' before being able to walk.  The range of hip movement is usually affected, and abduction of the hips especially painful."  

To summarize, SPD is the mild form of this problem.  Its symptoms often include one or more of the following:

• pubic pain
• pubic tenderness to the touch; having the fundal height measured may be uncomfortable
• lower back pain, especially in the sacro-iliac area
• difficulty/pain rolling over in bed
• difficulty/pain with stairs, getting in and out of cars, sitting down or getting up, putting on clothes, bending, lifting, standing on one foot, lifting heavy objects, etc.
• sciatica (pain in buttocks and down the leg)
• "clicking" in the pelvis when walking
• waddling gait
• difficulty getting started walking, especially after sleep
• feeling like hip is out of place or has to pop into place before walking
• bladder dysfunction (temporary incontinence at change in position)
• knee pain or pain in other areas can sometimes also be a side-effect of pelvis problems
• some chiropractors feel that round ligament pain (sharp tearing or pulling sensations in the abdomen) can be related to SPD

I asked for something to help me sleep cause with this I have not been sleeping at all.  Well God love my doc, she wrote me a script for Tylenol with Coedine!   I still had to swtich a ton from bed to chair and chair to bed, but at least I did get some sleep.  The nights I wait tables, I am in so much pain afterwards - I can not even describe.  This I think is the worst pain I have ever experienced, labor included and don't forget I was in labor with Sam for 26 hours.... So I do not say that lightly. 

Oh the joys of being a woman, lol.  Seriously tho, if I have to have pain, carrying a baby is sooooo worth it!

Well, I followed Jen's advice and gave Ben a 12 hour detail of my life.  He looked at me kind of strange when i handed it to him, but, I explained it was to help him understand where I was coming from.  I didn't want him always thinking I was having a go at him.  He didn't say much about it, but he did get more helpful afterwards.  So here's to hoping the lightbulb did go off!

The rest of the day after Christmas was very nice.  It was Kit's 2nd bday.  I can NOT believe my boy is 2!  Sam, Kit and I made a bday cake.  It kids are too funny when we bake.  They LOVE eating the batter and end up wearing almost as much as we put in the pan.  After the cake was cooled and iced, the kids had a blast decorating it with M&M's and Hershey Kisses.  I made a pinapple glazed ham for dinner.  Ben also left work early.  It made for a nice day. 

We also got done making the kids bday party invatations.  We are going to have a joint bday party for them in Feb (late for Kit and early for Sam).  Sam's bday is 10 days after my scheduled section and I just do not seeing making a bday party then.  She does not mind ahving it early and is excited to share a party with Kit.

Then yesterday, we had to take Kit to the doc yesterday.  He spiked a fever over the past few days.  Looks like he has an ear infection.  The good news is that he is now on antibiotics, so in another day, he should be better.  I stayed with Sam while Ben took the boy.  She was sleeping.  When she woke up, she was so upset that Kit was not here.  She insisted that I get her a picture of him cause "Baby Kit is the best and I love him SOOOOO much."  I was like awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....  They may squabble, but they do really love each other to pieces.

My sugars have been going up.  I think it is a combo of being more pregnant and all the freaking Chirstmas goodies in the house.  I think I am golng to dump half the crap right in the trash.  I just do not want them to get so high that I have to go back on insulin.  It has been nice avoiding it this pregnancy!

Last night at work, it was slow so I sent the other girl home.  Then of couse we filled up.  I went from having $11.00 in my pocket at 7 to having $100.00 at 9.  Can I tell you how much I am beginning to feel it now.  My legs, my pelvis and my back were on fire by the end of the night.  It hurt so much that I could not sleep at all last night.  It was my turn to get up with the kids, but I was in no shape to do it.  So at 6 when Kit woke, I woke Ben up and made him do it.  I usually would never do that, but I figured screw it, I am allowed to ask for help.  So I did.  He grumbled, but he got up.  Yeay for me for asking for help!  My right leg is still a mess today, I am hobbling around like I am 1000 years old.  I am hoping the more I move, it will loosen up.  I am scheduled to work tonight and I hate to give up the money.  Oh well, the more I hobble, the more people will feel bad for the big ole pregnant lady and then will tip me, not for my skill but out of pity!  LOL!

I am off now to go play with the kiddos!

• I have been feeling really tired, not myself, and at the end of my rope lately.  I think part of it is I am 7 and half months pregnant.  I also think Ben has been busy with his new position and everything in the house has all fallen to me as well as normal day to day and my own work while being pregnant.  With the holidays, I have been busy getting everything ready, cleaned, cooked, wrapped and decorated.  Not to mention that I have been getting ready for the baby - going thru all the old clothes and stuff.  Going thru the attic was a 3 day job - I spent 11 hours the first day alone.  I have not bitched, complained, asked for help or any extra consideration even with being preggo.  I have even picked up extra shifts and made time to sell things on Ebay to try to help ends meet and cover the extra costs of Christmas.  I went to Sam's school play by myself, with Kit, video in one hand, camera in the other so that Ben would not miss anything.

Last week, I had gotten pissed when he didn't put back my 409 and it took me 30 mins to find it, left the kitchen a freaking pit from when I worked the nite before, dishwasher full and I was trying to get the kids ready and out by 8:30.  I called him on the phone and told him that I had HAD it and I needed some help.  He was too busy to call me all day at work.  Pissed me off even tho he is in retail and I am sure he was really busy.  Friday night we went out but never really talked about it cause we were out on a date and God knows we do not get a lot of them.  So I mentioned again that I feel not like myself and on edge.

The day of Sam's Chirstmas concert, I had made video of the concert and of some stuff afterwards.  I asked him to watch it but something always came up and I guess he couldn't find the 10 minutes to do it.

Fast forward today... when we were showing my mom Sam's concert on the video, he taped over the past after that I had taped with Christmas this morning.  I was pissed and it really hurt my feelings.  It is not the end of the world, but I think because I have been feeling so taken for granted anyway, that I just saw red.  I gave him a hard time about it in front of my mom.  I know I shouldn't have, but I was so mad.  He left the room and went up stairs.

My mom then said that I shouldn't have done that (which I knew).  Ben is a good guy guy and has a lot on his plate now with a new job and a new baby coming (really?  And I don't?)... I bit my mouth.  But I wanted to say and how much more am I supposed to freakling bend cause I already feel like a soft pretzel.  We spend LOTS of time talking about his new job and discusing things... 

So my mom went down to the playroom with Sam and I went upstairs to apologize for saying something in front of my mom.  I told him I knew I was wrong.  But when I tried to explain why I acted out of character, we just argued.  Luckily my dad and Kit were both sleeping and my mom and Sam were still in the basement (playroom).  I do not even know if I can explain how it feels.... it's like he regugitates what I say yet somehow I am coming off as just having a go at him and he is a martyr... "I never do anything nice for you...."  When all I want him to do is put himself in my shoes for 5 minutes.  By the end we made up but I still feel really upset.  I love him and for the most part he is a really great guy.  I think the problem is that I make things too easy for him on a regular basis and he takes me for granted with out thinking about it.  In my mind, I say to myslef, stop doing so much... but that is how I am.  

But at the end of they day I am 7 and half months pregnant, busting my ass with the family, the house, the bills (I do them), doc appts (which are a lot cause I am high riskj) and work (which is waitressing so I am on my feet), getting ready for the baby (which I have done EVERYTHING myself so far...) and I have not asked for one ounce of help or special consideration.  Am I just being a bitch cause I at least expect him to notice or take the time to watch a 10 minute video that I made of the kids?  And lets not even talk about not being able to sleep cause the pain in my crotch actually wakes me up on the off hours when I am not up peeing.  I go back and forth between the sofa and a chair.

And then of couse, it felt great to bawl for an hour after I busted my ass to make Christmas nice for everyone.  Luckiily no one else expect him really knew.

On a happy note, the kids woke early and were thrilled with all their pressents.  When Sam saw how many gifts, she screamed on the top of her lungs, "OH MY GOD!"  She and Kit are still busy playing gleefully.  They were really happy with everything we picked and the when my parents showed up, it was like a second Christmas...

Kit has Sam's cold, only his is in his chest.  I am using the cold air vaporizor for him.  He has a well visiti on 1/2, so if his cold isn't better by then we are going to the doctor anyway.

So don't I sound like such a pathetic jackass on Christmas.  I can't help it.  I do love my husband.  He is not a bad guy, infact he comes home every night, does not do the bar thing, does not cheat, is good with not spending money and I know he loves me... but I still am not liking him so much right now.  I am so tired.  All I want to do is go to bed and pull the covers over my head for the next month. 

Hope everyone has had a nice, stress-free Christmas!