So here I am at my blog once again.  It has been forever since I updated.  I am guessing that there is a very good chance that no one might even read it anymore.  I think I am ok with that. I am going to post an update, but it is under the secured cateogory.  That means you need a passcode to get in.  If you can not remember your or you need one, email me and I might send you one.  Some things are too personal to post for just anyone to read....

So many times during my day, I think of things I want to write and then I get home and too tired.

The past 4 months have been a whirlwind.  I started at my school as an assistant.  My hours kept changing, but I just went with the flow.  I thought of it as paying my dues.  New career path meant new dues to pay.  I became really close to some of the staff and I think they will be friends of mine and Ben's for a long time.  Occasionally you come across people IRL that it just clicks with.  They have kids the same age as ours and the kids are the best of friends too.  They are the first people we trust enough to watch the kids overnight.  They have watched them a few times and Ben and I had a few nights alone EVER since Samantha was born.

This time has been paramount for me and Ben.  Don't get me wrong, we have always been very close and connected.  But recently and with the alone time, we have connected even deeper and shared even more hidden depths with each other.  After 13 years, it is like falling in love all over again.  We joke that it is like having an affair with each other, lol.  I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else except for us.  This has been some good time for us.  It is too easy to fall in the non-stop movement of wife/husband in responsible roles, parents , workers... ect, that the human being, the passionate, the romantic connection - gets put to the side or ignored.  "The sleeper has awakened."

Right before the holidays, I was promoted to Lead Teacher.  It should have been joyous, but the promotion came when a very close friend was pretty much left no choice but to resign.  This is not my story to tell.  I felt really like crap for taking it.  I wanted it and I wanted to provide consistency for the children.  This friend and I were in the same classroom.  But I felt guilty.  I knew if I didn't take it, somebody else would.  And this is what I want to do with my life professionally.  So I took it.  My friend was truly happy for me.  I still felt awful.  Another friend helped me put it in perspective.  I in no way had anything to do with why my other friend left.  I couldn't have prevented it.  I have maintained being true friend.  Although I am empathetic, it is also okay to be excited and happy for myself.  I sat with for awhile and my brain made peace. 

I became really excited.  Over the break I went in three times to re-set the classroom, spruce it up a little.  I also put together an awesome unit on Dinosaurs for the first two weeks back.  I created 10 new works and brought tons of my own teaching materials.  Once I changed the classroom a bit, it felt like my classroom.  The children had a great week.  Several parents have come to me and told me how much their kids are enjoying school this week.  My assistant told me she is really happy and we are getting along great.  This week had a really great flow to it.

I have several curriculum ideas and summer camp programming that my boss really seems to be on board with.  She, another teacher from the elementary site and I are going to meet to start working on them.  I am really excited to being in a position to add to the dynamic of my school.  I have never loved a job so much.

The children are growing too fast.  Samantha will be 7 soon and already does these pre-tweeny things that drives me crazy.  She has that "i am so annoyed to be speaking to you now" tone and the "you are so dumb" tone...  She is very independent and "don't treat me like a baby..."  Altho she won't admit it, she still needs her cuddling time.  We talk with her about the tones.  As much as it may drive me crazy some times, Samantha is a good girl.  She is very smart and has her own mind.  She thirsts for knowledge.  She reads on the same level as our neighbor's daughter who is 11.  Samantha is also a whiz at math and has been doing lots of multiplication.  Samantha's hardest challenge is that she is very hard on herself and underneath this outgoing girl, she is very, very sensitive.  People don't expect it cause she is so vocal.

Christopher just turned five.  At home, he comes in to sleep with us every night and still needs lots of love and attention from Mama.  At school, he is all boy!  He plays hard and is silly.  He loves all the Batman, Star Wars, Transformers...  Academically, he is more interested this year.  He loves numbers... counting and adding.  Language has always been a challenge.  He didn't want anything to do with it.  Being that Ben is dyslexic, we were watching to see if we saw signs with Kit.  This year, Kit has mastered all his phonetic sounds and is word building!  This is way cool and he is so proud of himself.  I am not sure if we are out of the woods with Dyslexia, but at least if we face it, it shouldn't be severe.  (Any of our kids could get it, but boys have a much larger chance...)

Susanna is almost three and thinks she is queen of the world!  She crawled at 5.5 months, walked at 8 months, completely potty trained by 18 months.... she lets nothing hold her back.  She is an independent, vocal, intelligent and funny little thing.  Her first words were "that's funny."  At her two year old well visit, she told the doctor a knock, knock joke.  She is social and has no favorites in the family.  She really just loves being with everyone.  She is very eager to go to "Mama's school" with Kit and Sam.  A perfect example of Susanna... late on night, Samantha and Kit were asleep.  Ben and I heard something upstairs.  When we went up we found Susanna sitting in the middle of our bed, watching TV. 

"Susanna, what are you doing?" I said. 

"I'm not tired, so I am channel flicking.  There is nothing good on."  Susanna explained.

"Susanna, you need to go to bed," I stated. 

"No, I am fine," she replied,  "You go to bed."

And that is Miss Susanna!

Other than that, it is the same old, same old.... not enough time to do half the things I am meaning to do, lol.  The family is well, Ben and I are great and I feel very lucky and blessed.  Spiritually, my path continues down the same path I have been on for a long time now.  I feel empowered and strong.  I have lots of love in my life.

Today I was at school singing songs with the children during circle time at 9 o'clock this morning.  Things were the same old, same old.  I kept looking around as the day progressed at the normalcy of it all.  It just seems like forever ago the tragedy of what happened 9/11/2001.  But at the same time, I don't think this day will ever come that I don't think about the loss of life and devastation.

Positive, peaceful, and loving energy being sent to to the universe in the hopes that we can all live together in harmony.

Why is it that I always get all these great ideas to blog about when I am on the treadmill or at school, but no where near my blog?  Then I get to my computer and my mind goes blank.  I guess that is just life - when the mind and body are moving, so are the thoughts and when there is a moment to rest, my brain rests too, lol.

The children are doing well.  Samantha is loving first grade and I am really happy with her teachers.  She is in the Montessori Lower Elementary program.  Her teachers get her and her thirst for knowledge.  She is already learning compound words, nouns, adjectives and writing in a journal.  Christopher is thriving on his own without Samantha.  He is engrossed in art right now - color mixing is the end all, be all.  I am glad to see him attracted to art - it is such a great form of expression.  Susanna loves her daycare.  It is set up like a pre-k class.  She has friends that she knows by name and is always coming home singing songs from school.  She was even invited to a bday party.  When we got there, she introduced me to all her friends.  Susanna freaks me out on a regular basis.  She can ride and two wheeler with training wheels and the other day she tells me she can see my epidermis.  When I ask her what that is, she smiles and said, "your skin, silly."  She is two going on twenty.

Ben is getting used to his new store.  He was faced with some staff who lack in the work ethic department - so he is weeding out and hiring.  He is so calm and even tho in his demeanor and a diligent person, so I have no doubt that in 6 months it will run smoothly like his old store did.  It just can be tiring going having a store going from not working to working well.

I love being at school.  I was born to be in the Montessori environment.  My head is always exploding with ideas and being with the children is so rewarding.  Altho, I still think of myself as a SAHM.  But then it dawned on me that all moms are SAHM in that all the responsibility of being a mom is there - it's just that there is time spent out of the home as well.  Working regular hours has certainly given me a new perspective as well as bumped my time management skills up a notch.  I do feel lucky that my workplace is where two of my children are and as of March all of my children will be with me.  They are not in my class, but I get to see them and I know all there teachers personally - which allows me to really know what is going on.  We also share materials, so some of what will be taught at the primary school (Kit and soon Susanna) is stuff that is mine - so via vi I get to teach them.  I can say for the first time in my life I feel like I am doing something with real purpose and this is what I was born to do.  I am so lucky that I am married to the man that I am supposed to be.  I love him, he is my best friend and we are two parts of a whole.  I have three healthy, wonderful loving children who I love more than life.  And now I am working, doing something that I love, that is for me as Wendy the person.  I am very, very blessed.

Spiritually, I have come out of the broom closet.  I am an eclectic with, pagan, earth-based woman.  This is how we are raising the children and it is the right fit for us as a family.  We follow the Wheel of the Year, which is Agriculturally based.  Altho we do celebrate traditional holidays and teach the children what they are about.  The most important thing is that the children know that there is more than one way of seeing things and although they may be different, all can be equally valid.  Tolerance.  Acceptance.  Non judgment.  Peace.  Global thinking.  These are the important things to me.  I have spent some time studying Wicca/Witchcraft.  Wicca is not for me - to many rules of being told what to do - altho I share many of the same traditions.  I like being able to think for myself and making up my own mind.  Right now I am studying the Chakras and mediation.  I feel a real pull to Eastern philosophies and that is where I am putting my energy right now.  I would also like to learn Reiki I.   

The fall Equinox is approaching - Mabon - celebrating the final harvest.  I will be taking the children to Fall Frolic, which is a pagan festival.  We will get to go to a Mabon ritual together, do some drumming and spent time out doors. Yeay.

Basically to sum it up, I believe that there is a higher power - probably genderless - but I think people see what they relate to.  Some religions see a male God, others see a female Goddess.  Some see both.  People may know God as Jesus, The Green Man, Allah... People may know the Goddess by 10,000 different names.  The point is to make a connection with something.  Climb the mountain - who cares how - it's the journey, not the destination.  Personally, I am feeling a closer bond the the Goddess.  I think growing up with more male God religions left me feeling short-changed, so that is where my connection is.  With the children, we teach balance - Goddess and God - Yin and Yang, Mother and Father, Positive and Negative.  This works for them and us.  And I fully respect that people that I know as well as complete strangers will have completely different views.  That is okay.

So there you have it.  Kids good.  Husband good.  Work good.  Wendy out of the broom closet. 

Peace.

http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=2713N  LINK FOR QUIZ

It has been busy, that is for sure.  I guess that is the way of life tho.

Samantha graduated from Kinder-garden on Thursday June 12th.  I cried mostly for her.  But, I also cried through out the whole ceremony.  I subbed a lot this past year and did the aftercare program, so all of the children are mine.  I felt better tho when I looked around and saw lots of other teachers crying as well.  I find milestones like this bittersweet.  The children grow like they should, but it is an end to a chapter.  I find that sad.  The hello to the new chapter is much nicer.

I was so proud of both Samantha and Christopher.  (All the children got to participate)  They sang their songs really well and have embraced school so much.  I love watching them thrive.

Right after graduation, Samantha and I left for the Woman's festival that we went to last year.  This year we shared a cabin with other moms and daughters.  We got a GREAT cabin.  Everyone got along so well and we had a blast.  Again I spent a lot of my time working at the Gyrlspace; but I love it.  I even created a few workshops for the girls and they went really well.  This year Sam and I were both affected by being at that space and were very sad when it was time to go.  It is really hard to explain, but it reminds me of what a woman's community used to be like when there were villages and people really had trust and worked together.  Now, it seems, even in sub-divisions that most people are individual cells with in a whole.  There is little ebb and flo.  At the festival, it is very different.  I can turn off the external chatter of real life and just relax.  There are many moms there and we all take turns watching the children and get time to relax.  At night, the girls play and we just got to sit outside, drink some wine and talk.  The fact that I only had one child with me also helped me be more carefree.  There is a serenity of being in the middle of the woods with no TV, no phones, no computer, no noise.  And having such a large group of women who are on similar spiritual paths is really awesome.  You can't just look in the phone book and find "earth based religion".

On a IRL note, I have been hired as an Assistant Teacher for the summer.  This should turn into a full time position for the reg school year.  The fact is it will eventually.  That is certain.  I figure if it does this fall, great.  The downside will be having to put Susanna in daycare for longer hours.  If it later, then Susanna will be old enough to come too and then I get more time with her at home.  Either way it is a win-win.  My studies are going great and I will be finished by August at the latest.  This is really awesome.  I have really enjoyed doing this and think I would like to eventually go on for my Master in Education.

Ben has been promoted to a larger store.  The cool thing is that they came to him.  He didn't even apply for it!  They offered him a decent raise too.  (This is great cause they are usually cheap, cheap, cheap.... Shhhhh.....)  Of course, we both start new things at the same time, but hey, we will figure it out.  I am really proud of him.  He is very good at what he does.  He has a great work ethic and works hard.  I am so happy for him that he is getting recognition for it.

With all the work changes, I was finally able to QUIT the restaurant!  Thank heavens!!!!!  I had been there for 4 1/2 years!  I said to keep me on the list cause I might be able to help cover from time to time.  I left on good terms.  Altho on my last day, I didn't even get a card.  Oh well, so much for gratitude from a restaurant.  Altho my friend Ky said that a lot of my regulars have been coming in and are really upset that I am gone.  Some even want my phone number.  So that is really nice to hear.

Susanna... oh Susanna.  Can we say independent?  Spirited?  Head strong? Stubborn?  Freakishly intelligent?  This child is so charming and sweet but man, she will be very grey on my head.  She was potty trained before two.  She speaks in clear, full sentences, she counts, she understands complex and multiple commands and she is fearless.  She pushes the envelope and can so clearly articulate when she is mad cause I say no.  "Mama, I am mad.  I don't like that.  You need timeout. I am not listening to you."  She is flipping two!

We had some bad news over the past bit as well.  First, the woman who used to teach the kids art had a cut.  It got infected, so she went to the hospital.  The gave her antibiotics.  She was allergic.  That caused a stroke.  She is now paralyzed from the neck down and may die.  She is 28.  This woman and I got along really well and when I think of this, I feel sick.  Her poor husband is a mess.

Second, my next door neighbor's best friend killed himself.  He went in the garage after taking a bottle of vicadin, turned on the car and that was that.  I knew him pretty well.  He was just a little bit older than me.  He had a wife and five children.  The youngest is 14.  I can't even begin to comprehend their pain and other than listening and putting forward positive energy, there is nothing I can do.  It certainly makes me so grateful for all the things in my life, both the good and the bad.

On a happier note, a good friend that I love dearly is pg.  But this time I will not be pg with her (sorry Tiff!).  These are the things I like to focus on.

I am also looking forward to seeing a bunch of wonderful women in Columbus the end of July.

And Ben's brother and his long time GF are coming to see us the beginning of July for two weeks.

So life is indeed busy, but I am not complaining!  :)

Holy Crap, it's been 4 months since I blogged and probably over 7 months since I blogged anything worthwhile.  Life has been so busy.  I am still working the p/t waitress thing - which I am SOOOOO tired of doing.  (Can't wait to see the backside of that door...)  I am also subbing A LOT of the children's Montessori school.  I really LOVE that and I am good at it.  I now do their extended care program p/t.  It has been a blast cause I have been doing lots of art lessons tied in with science lesson.  FUN!  And I have started working on my Montessori Certification via a correspondence course.  This is on top of still considering myself a SAHM.  Crazy - but mostly good crazy.

The school knows that I am getting my Montessori Cert.  I am pretty sure that they may offer me a full time position for this fall and if not this year, def next year.  I really love it there.  The children are awes, I love the methodology of teaching and I really like and enjoy the other teachers.  They usually start the children at 3, but have started as young as 2.5 yrs.  Susanna will be 2.5 then and she is almost ready now.  (Oh my Susanna... but I will get to the kids....)

On the spiritual front, I was studying with a group that shares my pagan views.  However, it ended up being a bit of an ego-fest.  So, I am still on my path - but once again a more solitary path.  I am OK with this.  Ben and I can raise the kids with a strong Earth-centric view of the world while still understanding and appreciating the beauty and differences of others.  Who cares how we climb the mountain as long as we climb.  I am taking Samantha to the Women's festival again this year and I will be teaching some of the girls stuff.  That is going to be very cool!

Family Front:

Ben is doing really well at his job.  He is the Manager of his store now.  Technology is his thing - so he is happy there.  :)  And we are still trying to get out for a date 4 times a year, lol.  So in the mean time, we play WOW together.  :)

Samantha is 6 - OMG, when did that happen???  She is bright, smart, stubborn and beautiful.  She is a natural leader and loves anything relating to science.  She is constantly digging up bugs and we have more habitats in our house!  She is reading books and thinks nothing of reading my text messages over my shoulder.  She is still playing the guitar but we may take a break for the summer.

Christopher is now 4.  He loves, loves, loves school.  He is in the middle of the mix with the boys - running and playing hard.  He loves computer games, tinker toys and being outside.  He still is my little guy with a million hugs and kisses, but he doesn't sneak into my bed every night anymore.  (Happy and sad...)  He is developing a temper and when he gets made, he bops himself in the head when he thinks we are watching.  Needless to say, this behavior we are working on changing NOW.

And then there is Miss Susanna.  Can you say independent?  She has no idea that she is only 2.  Anything and everything the older two does, she does.  She was potty trained before she turned two.  She speaks and makes her intentions known.  She is so funny - I mean, she actually tells jokes and plays pranks.  Her first words were not Mama or Dada... they were "That's funny."  And FINALLY a child who has my curly hair! 

There is a million more things I could write about, but it is time to brush teeth and get the kids to bed!  I hope everyone is well.  :)

You Are Christmas

More than most people, you are able to find magic in life's small moments. Traditions mean a lot to you, and you tend to be quite nostalgic. You are a giving, kind person who really understands the true meaning of holidays. You inspire others to be as altruistic and caring as you are. What makes you celebrate: Tradition and a generous spirit At holiday get togethers, you do best as: The storyteller. You like to recount memories with everyone. On a holiday, you're the one most likely to: Give a gift to everyone you know

 http://www.blogthings.com/whatholidayareyouquiz/

Ok, so I was bored and decided to read some trashy gossip.  Apparently a size 2 actress, J enn ifer Love Hewitt or Hewitt Love (?) had a pic taken from behind and now has been labeled with a big, untoned ass.  Ok, people, this chick is a size two?  How bad can the ass be?  Seriously, at least it is a REAL ass.

I am so sick of these plastic surgery, claim they are all natural, women who try to make this standard of beauty IMPOSSIBLE to achieve.  Men of course, think it is hot - but they are men, so therefor, somewhat stupid.  What really galls me is the amount of other women who bash each other.  We are all women and aren't we supposed to build each other up, not tear each other down?

And if this size 2 chick is an untoned fatso, then man, I just need to jump off the bridge now.  And I am already in the gym 5 days a week.  Trust me, I a'int no size 2 - altho my right calf might be or maybe my left boob.

Parents: Anthony DiLizio = Rochelle Weinberg

Anthony's parents: Verino DiLizio 1911-1981 = E Palladenetti 1919-2001

Rochelle's parents: William Weinberg 1896-1965 = Eleanore Beizer 1910-2005

William's parents: Philip Weinberg 1860-1910 = Anna
1860-1910

Eleanore's parents: Max beizer 1888-1959 = Eva Wolinsky
1889-1979

Philip Weinberg's oringal last name: Gavrin

Eva's Children

George beizer1912–

David beizer1915–

Philip's children:

Louis Weinberg1882–

Mary Weinberg1886–

Ray Weinberg1890–

Sadie Weinberg1892–

Anna Weinberg1894–

William Weinberg1896–1965

Bessie Weinberg1897–

Abe Weinberg1899–

Earon Weinberg1903–

• Samantha Lee
• Christopher Lee
• Susanna Lee

• Ben's parents :Roger Lee = Janet Elisabeth Mansfield

BENIGN!  Yeay!  Lots of polyps and scar tissue but NO CANCER!  Obviously this is GREAT news!  So far, no more bleeding, but I bled for 18 days after the surgery, lol.  Time will tell.  But again, NO CANCER!  So who cares?  LOL.  I just may keep Always in business on my own.

Other tidbits, a chair fell on my foot and split my toe in half.  Gross, bloody and did I say gross?  I did find out that there was an urgent care in my town, so I was able to avoid the ER.  They cleaned and bound it - no stiches.  And I had to get a tetanous (sp?) shot.  Well, they tell you that it may hurt the next day.  What they really mean is it is going to hurt like holy hell and make that whole side of your body feel like it is on fire and stiff as a board.  But since it fell so close to finding out that I don't have cancer, who cares?  LOL.  It is amazing how good of a mood that can put you in.  :)

I have been substitute teaching as much as I can (when Ben can be home with Susanna).  I am hopeful that when she is ready for school, that there will be a teaching job for me.  This would be great.  I am meant to be a teacher!  And I have been picking up more shifts at night to help pay for the gas to and fro school.  On top of full time Mommy duty, I am just beyond exhausted.  Ben has also been working a 6 day work week forever.  He finally will get an assistant the 15th of this month.  We both are like the walking dead, but when you have kids, no mercy - it is buck up and drink lots of coffee.  LOL.

Kids are good, but busy.  Sam and Kit are both thriving in the Montessori school.  This friday we have a field trip to the pumpkin patch.  We are looking forward to it.

Will update more later.  Thanks Kristin for IMing me and letting me know ya were thinking of me!  With 5 kids, I know you are running, so thanks for the ++++ MOJO for me!  :)  Also, sending out lots and lots of prayers and positive thoughts for Michelle and G.  I have been off the radar, but thinking of everyone.

that I could assume exercising she was wrong.  I asked.  Ben was there.  We thought it was odd that I had the green light, but hey, what do we know.  So two days after my D&C, I went back to the gym.  I was good and didn't completely kill myself and didn't worry that I was still spotting on and off.  Well then Sunday I had a great, pumped up work out and then that night, I was bleeding like bloody murder.  I called my GYN the next day and the nurse there was appalled that I have been exercising and was told absolutely not to.  I got the reminder that if I go thru a pad an hour to get to the ER.   I haven't gone thru that much, but I have been bloody and gross.  Before the D&C, I only hurt sometimes and bled on and off.  NOW, I am bleeding all the time and hurt all the time.  Lovely... I am so glad I had it... er, I'm not.

I go to the doc on Friday.  Have I said how much this whole thing blows?  AND, no report back from pathology.  I HATE THIS HOSTPITAL.  Grrrr.

Good night.

I got a voice mail from the non carpooling parents people.  Basically I was told that they won't be able to help us ever and blah, blah, blah, so I sent an email.  I was too angry to talk.  We went back and forth.  Well today when Ben picked the kids up, then man/AXXXXXX went off on Ben about how we are terrible parents!  Ben almost lost his temper and he never does.  He got the lecture after the third email.  AXXXXXX said he had stopped by the house earlier.  It was by the grace of the Goddess that I wasn't there because I would have been compelled to go for the jugular.  What a freaking asshole.  What is even funnier is that this asswipe has 5 kids by 3 women.  Three of his kids won't even have anything to do with him!  The kids he has in his custody is in trouble all the time (from AXXXXX cause AXXXXXXX is like a militant drill sergant) and spends all his time being punished.

For your reading pleasure.. here are the emails...

Email #1

----- Original Message -----

From: W

To: C

Sent: Sunday, September 09, 2007 7:04 PM

Subject: Missed your call earlier....

I am not even sure what to say.  After I got your email Sat, I wasn't even going to ask why - altho I going to ask that you guys pick the kids up on Weds because I have made doctor appts.  I did this based on a car schedule that up until Sat, I had no idea that there was a problem with.  Now after you voice mail, I am now clear on how that offer to help in a jam, was said, but not meant.  Fine.

 

That said, now I will share my thoughts.  Thurs was the first time the kids rode together with new gear.  It is normal and expected that they might not all be on their best behavior.  I only started asking you both to get this together in July and both B and I called several times so that we could have controlled practice trials well before school started.  I have no doubt that Sam can sit still with the lap adjuster - even if the first day it was novel.  Another no back booster could have always been used on the otherside.  Whatever, no brain storming, no options were even put out there.  Heck, I saw AXXXXXX all week and nothing was said to me or B, period.  I mean, really, if I hadn't emailed you, would we have been sitting here Monday morning waiting for you to come?  With no regard to us at all, you have put a additional financials burden and time burden that I was not prepared for.  This said, I am not trying to get you to change you mind.  I am just telling you how it is.

 

In the past, I have been there to help you guys out in a New York minute - even when it was hard on me - like the time that I had all four kids for my 1.5 hour procedure at the docs office when you guys needed to see the lawyer.  But I thought that is what friends do.  We were offered faux help in a jam and when B and I called to ask about Weds afternoon, AXXXXXX couldn't even call one of us back.  When we left messages, we were friendly and normal on the phone.  Ben even said not to worry about the carpool.  But now I am angry.  I feel like I have done a lot of giving and didn't even warrant the respect of being spoken to like human being. That said, you may wonder why I am choosing to email instead of speak.  To be frank, I am way too angry to speak. 

 

You have stress.  Well we all do.  You've got yours and I have mine.  You've just added to mine.  As far as my health goes, don't assume I am on the mend.  I never said that.  I never implied that.  All I said is that the surgery is over.  You haven't been around or interested to know what is going on in my life lately.  So you want to do something nice, put some positive energy out there for me for a change that the biopsies come back ok from pathology.  Stress really is relative.

 

EMAIL #2 

 

Wendy ,

 it's me AXXXXX returning your email. You should know it is me who asked C to call you back instead of me. You see I was to angry as you put it for not even being given the respect of being spoken to like a human being as you put it, You see I find it very offensive when you tell me that the ride home on Thursday was ok because your daughter told you so . I would think you might want to speak to the adult you trusted to care for your children to hear what went on. But then maybe I was wrong. Children always tell things like they are don't they ? I was not going to talk with you about the ride in the street at the school. What happened was no one else's business . After your comments to me I saw that there was no sense in expecting to talk with you. I did not expect in the middle of your surgery or even when you got home that you would like to know . Just the fact that you put your  children's lives and care in someone else's hands whom you trusted  and that they were ok was to be enough to help relieve the stress of the moment . That being said I am glad to have been able to help.

 Now as to the future , I cannot and will not take responsibility to care for someone else's child/children when there is a situation in which a child/children are disrespectful and don't listen and only do as they want.You may be willing to put up with this type of behavior and make excuses for it, but I will not. I don't allow this type of behavior from my own children and cannot provide care for others children safety when being faced with it. 

 Now for what happened on Thursday;

  Sam came out of school and refused to talk with me or listen to my requests, she turned her back to me and refused to take my hand making it a struggle to get the children safely to the car through the parking lot. Her inability to follow my directions has caused me to realize  as a friend that I cannot trust your daughter to follow directions when in my care so I cannot take responsibility for her safety at this time.

 

 W, AXXX wanted to address the email as it was he who was participating in the car pool. However, first of all, I am dismayed that this issue seems to have parlayed into our whole friendship, and that fact that you feel as you have written, that you cannot talk with me about it is also sad. Furthermore, yes you have helped us out, which was always acknowledged and reciprocated and discussed with you. I do not feel that I have as you put it been a bad friend. Moreover, though much of the summer it was me or us calling you to see if you wanted to get together, rarely was it you reaching out to me. As for your surgery, when I did ask or you talked about it you seemed not to give much information so I respected your privacy, if this came off as not caring then I apologize. I do not feel that I should pry into someone's personal business  that seems not to want to talk about it. Lastly, the tone of this email was not acceptable to me, if you are angry about the situation I understand that, but do not take personal attacks, as I have not taken personal attacks on you.

 

 

EMAIL #3

 

AXXXXXX, let's keep this simple.  I am not trying to convince you why you should carpool.  Again, both Ben and I said fine.  My problem was two-fold and now three-fold.

 

First, our kids all have their challenges - good and bad.  That is the nature of being a child.  I contacted you in July to get this started.  My children needed time to get used to the idea and practice runs.  Both Ben and I contacted you several times to make this happen.  You did not listen.  I have a problem with that.  As a friend, you expect me to be sensitive to T's needs - well I expected the same from you.  You were not sensitive to that at all.

 

Second, you do not communicate.  I asked you in person how things went,.as did Ben and I emailed.  You never said a word about any challenges.  You are shocked that I believed Samantha?  She is the only one who until today said anything specific.   .How can Ben and I address what is not told to us?  Yes, I was not as available cause my surgery; however, Ben was.  Infact, we both tried several times to get a hold of you.  We hold no allusions that our kids are angelic.  They are children and as I said above, they all have challenges - good and bad.  Can't fix what we don't know.  Also, if it is a no-go even to help each other out in jams, just say that.  Don't make offers to help if they are empty words.  The truth is much better.

Third, I wouldn't pass judgment or make criticism as to how we raise our kids.  I am not going to dignify a lot of what you passed judgment on.  Let's not go there.  Let's just agree that there is more than one correct way to climb a mountain.

 

Whether we car pool or not is not the issue.  It is the way we treat each other.  I do not think we have been treated nicely and it made me angry.  So I have said so.  I could have just stopped talking to you guys or be nice to your face but not behind your back... but that really isn't the way friends act?

.

 

 

 

C,  I am sorry if you did not like the tone of the email.  I felt it was the best route to communicate with out getting heated and saying things in haste that can not be taken back.  With any relationship, there is good and bad.  I am angry/hurt and I said so.  I did not attack you, AXXXXXX, your characters, the way you raise your son, you family dynamic or anything like that.  I said that I do not like the way this situation was handled.  If this is the straw that breaks the camel's back, then that is a sad state of what our friendship is/was.  I am not going to say that everything is sunshine if it is not.  I can be angry with someone's actions and understand that is does not make them bad people.  I never said that.

 

I think you were given the task of ending things with out knowing what was and wasn't said.  I am not sure if you are aware of how often we tried to approach AXXXXX.  I think you were thrown in there.  And I think that sucks because with follow-thru in the beginning or  a simple conversation from your husband, this could have been circumvented.  That is not an attack on AXXXXXXX.  It just is.  I feel like we have been treated with disregard. 

 

As far as getting together, last time we planned to get together with the kids, you had picked out a Saturday.  You called me that afternoon to tell me that T's behavior was too poor and it wouldn't work.  I said just let me know what Sat would work.  That just fell thru.  The fact is that we both are working a lot and getting together has not been easy. That is no one's fault.  I do appreciate your apology about how it came across concerning my surgery.  It did come across as not caring and that hurt my feeling.  I thought you and I were way past standing on ceremony.  I honestly think you have had so much stress on your plate and I have always been the positive person for an ear and support, that it didn't cross your mind that maybe I needed an ear.  This is not an attack.  I do not think that thought process was conscious or with malicious.  I think it was as simple as not crossing your mind.

 

AXXXXXX and C,

 

You guys will either hear what I am saying or not.  I am being genuine and not slinging insults/attacks/puffing/posturing.  No one likes to hear that they made some one angry or hurt their feeling.  But how can we be friends if we can't be straight with each other?  What else can I say?

 

 

 

 

And I have to wait for the pathology report.  Apparently the doc spoke to me in post-op.  However, I remember being woken up on the gurney to post-op.  I was pulling at my tubes and was told to stop.  Once I was in post-op, I was awake and aware.  But, hey, the doc also never called Ben to tell him I was done - so perhaps he forgot to speak to me as well.

Lovely eh? 

Then today I find out that the people I was supposed to carpool with for the kids to school are not going to.  I emailed them to confirm everything and thru the email they backed out.  Now I have to find another 50 bucks a week for gas money that is not in an already tight budget.   I think what galls me even more is the lack of a phone call or even being told there was a problem.  I have watched their child on many occasions with short notice and for long periods of time - even when it was not convenient at all.  Call me crazy, but this is not they way friends act.  I guess as long as we do all the giving and they do all the taking, then it is OK?  Hmmmm... that just doesn't sit well with me.  They are all like "oh we have stress... blah, blah, blah..."  Well don't we all?  I mean, I have to wait here for a report to see what my abnormal things are from inside my uterus - but I am not using that as an excuse not to live life and follow thru on commitments.  I haven't even mentioned that to them.  (And let me tell you, it is stressful!)  If I hadn't emailed them, would we have been sitting here on Monday morning, waiting and waiting for them to come?

I am in a very bitchy mood right now.  People can suck.

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?

http://www.flarn.com/~warlock/tarot/

is over and done with.  THANK GOD!  Let me tell you, it sucked.  The procedure itself wasn't so awful as was the bedside manner.  Up until yesterday I was told I'd be out in a few hours and put into a deep sleep - no big deal.  Yesterday I was informed that I was going to be put under general anesthesia and there most of the day.  I was not prepared for that in my head and with arrangements for the kids.  Of course they didn't tell me this first thing in the morning either; rather, 3 o'clock in the afternoon.

After a mad scramble, I arranged for rides for Sam and Kit to and fro school, a ride for Sam for guitar and longer coverage for Susanna.  It wasn't easy, but it got done.  Emotionally, I was a wreck.  I can handle most anything, but I am the type of person who needs to know what the plan is.  It gives me time to wrap my head around it and come to terms with the worst case scenario.  In my mind, if I can handle the worst case scenario, then I can handle anything else.

Ben and Susanna brought me to the hospital this morning.  Our sitter for Susanna couldn't be at the house until after I had to be at the hospital.  Ben could only go so far back with me because they don't let babies back there.  I understood, but didn't like it.  I cried twice before Ben left.  He assured me that I was tough and would be fine before he left.  Well as soon as they wheeled me to the holding area, I started to bawl again.  I am not usually a crier.  One of the nurses shut my curtain, brought me tissues and reassured me that with a uterine problem - my hormones were messed up.  Crying was acceptable.

My surgery was delayed and pretty much I sat there waiting.  So I cried two or three more times.  The anesthesiologist with the bedside manner from hell came in and asked me the usual.  I told him my allergies, that I was EXTREMELY nervous about going under and that I get nauseous and itchy from anesthesia.  He looked at me like I was insane and said, "What do you mean you get itchy?!"  "Um," I replied, "Just that I get itchy.  It happened after two of my c-sections and they were able to give me something or it."  He rolled his eyes.  Then I asked how quickly I was going to be knocked out because I don't like the feeling like I had with one of my spinals and when I had my impacted wisdom teeth removed.  He snarkily said that he can't acct for how my mind will handle it and left.  Needless to say, I cried AGAIN.

I was in a ripe state when they came to get me.  I guess Dr. Evil had an assistant, cause he came with a lovely needle with orange liquid in it.  He told me that he'd be putting it in my IV and it would make me relaxed - kinda like I had a few glasses of wine.  He was right.  For the first time I joked, saying that I felt like I should have one foot on the ground like after a good night at the pub when in college.  I remember them moving me to the table and then I was not awake until after.

The surgeon never called Ben like they were supposed to.  All the nurses were questioning why nobody was there for me.  Luckily Ben was worried and drove back on his own getting ready to raise hell as to where I was.  As soon as we were allowed, we were out of there!  YEAY!

As always tho, the nurses are sooooo nice.

I did realize tho that part of my fear came from having to be intubated.  This may sound crazy, but the thought of being intubated brings me to a dark, scary place that is remnant from Sam's time on life support.  It is not like one has anything to do with the other but it brought me there anyway.  You think you are over things and then sometimes unrelated things just brings back unresolved issues.  I suspect tho that there will always be residual from that.  But the emotional rollercoaster coupled with the physical procedure has me feeling very, very, very worn.

To boot, nobody even told me what they found or biopsied.  Lovely, eh?

was fine.  Both kids went in happy and left happy (aside from Kit forgetting to ask to go to the toilet thus wetting his pants).  Kit even complained that I came back to soon.  I guess 6 hours was not long enough?  LOL.  The second day was seamless as well.  Then came the third day...

We started our morning the same as the others starting with a nice family breakfast.  After we ate, everyone brushed their teeth, got dressed and we were off.  The ride was also not eventful until we were almost at school and Sam announced that she did not want to go.  Well, when she said she did not want to go, she meant it.  She was screaming and yelling and kicking and carrying on like a wild child.  Meanwhile, Kit kissed me goodbye and went in without hesitation.  I expected a bit of chaos the first week, but I expected the roles to be completely reversed.

I felt like a complete failure as I saw Sam go in.  I drove around the block and then back, altho out of Sam's sight, to make sure she was fine.  They said she was calming down and when I called the school at lunch-time, they said she was fine.  I was not fine.  I know that the correct thing to do (or the correct thing every says to do...) is to leave them and go.  But is it?

Sam is so outgoing, but also so sensitive and clearly does not do well with change.  After school we talked and have continued talking.  One of the things Sam is afraid of is that her friends will no longer be her friends cause they don't go to school together anymore.  I reassured her that just like her camp friends are still her friends and her YMCA friends are still her friends, so will her old preschool friends.  She also thought that some of her friends still might be at preschool.  I assured her that they all were at new schools.  This added to the change in routine is proving to be really hard for her.  I am confident that given a bit of time, she will adjust and will love her new school.  It is just hard now because in my heart of hearts, I hate having her at school and not with me.

Kit, on the other hand, is absolutely embracing school.  He can't wait to get out of the car and into the classroom everyday.  His only challenge is that he gets so involved with what he is doing, he forgets to go the the toilet.  This can be addressed.

Overall tho, the teachers are really happy with the kids and asked what I do with them at home.  She said she was impressed with their knowledge and their manners.  This made me feel really good.

One more day til a nice 3 day weekend.  Yeay. 

Everytime I hear about a child left in a car and then that child dies, I want to puke.  I hate hearing things like that.  Our society won't let us see a boob in regular TV, but the news will graphically talk about things like the forementioned.  WTF????  I want a warning or a rating before something like that airs.  I rather see a billion boobs on TV rather than one child abuse/neglect/murder...  Clearly I am in the minority because society as a whole just seems to accept this crap.  I don't get it.  :(

My unusual bleeding continues for just about a year now and at times the pain is unbearable.  My doc wants me to go in for a D&C so he can biopsy my uterus.  The surgical center will be calling me Monday to set up a time.  Scared?  Yes.  Ready for an answer?  Yes.  Ready for this to be over?  You betcha.

So my DH works for a cell phone company that has changed names a few times lately.  Each time the name changes, so does the insurance.  We currently have a PPO with a 450 family deductible, all preventative covered, co pays, and 90% coverage, max spent 3000 and a separate RX plan.  Well the new fucking plan for 2008 has a 2200 family deductible and nothing except preventative is covered until the deductible is met - even RXs and the max spent is 6200!  So what, now if the kids are sick, we pay all of it and medicine too boot until we spend 2200.  It is like WTF even have insurance.  THIS SUCKS SO BADLY!  And it is the only option; whereas, in the past we had a few choices.

I think after Christmas, my DH may be talking to the head hunters and we may be on a fishing expedition to see what else is out there.  GRRRRRRRRRR....

Kit:  Am too.

Sam:  Are not.

Kit:  Am too.

Sam: Are not!

Kit:  Am too.

Sam:  Are not.

Kit:  Am too.

Sam: Are not!

(I come over to the table...)

Me:  What are you too arguing about?

Sam:  Kit thinks he is a mammal.

Kit:  I AM a mammal.

Sam:  Are not!

Kit:  I am!  I breath air and I drink milk!

Sam:   Are not!  You can not give birth to live babies and mammals can do that!

Kit stops and thinks....  then he looks at me...

Kit:  Didn't you do a dance with Dada to have babies?

Me:  Yes.

Sam:  (looks at Kit) But YOU don't have the babies!

Me:  Yes, but boys do help make the live babies, so therefor, Kit is right.  He is indeed a mammal too.

*** I went into work tonight and saw K.  As soon as I saw her, I waved and she waved back.  So I asked if we were cool and she said yeah.  So it looks like work will be fine - which is nice.  I just want to go to work to work, no drama, no fuss no muss.

*** Quick brag, today Susanna made the poop face - red face while pooping - and as soon as she finished, she pointed to her diaper and lay down waiting for me to change her.  What a smartie pants!  I think my 17 month old may be ready to potty train soon!  WOO HOO!  No more diapers.

*** Today it hit me that with Sam and Kit going to school in the fall, it is the first steps to them leaving me.  Ok, granted, we have many years of school - but from this point forward, it will be school.  I had this uncontrolable urge to bubble wrap them and lock them in the bathroom, lol.  This time is flying by tooooooo fast and it makes me so sad - even tho I am so happy they are growing and healthy and doing all the things they should be doing.

Sam gave Ben some of her money tonight to help pay for Montessori school.  She knows we are saving so she wanted to help.  She is so excited to go!  She can't wait to do chapter books and multipication.  Tonight Ben was talking to her about symbiotic relationships and she said she knew of one.  Her example was bees and flowers.  I think that is very lateral thinking for my 5 year old.

I think Montessori will be good for Kit too cause he is so sensitive.  When he gets overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do, he shuts down and won't speak.  Today when I went to get him from childwatch at the Y, he was standing in the corner.  Apparently he had been for awhile and he wouldn't talk to anyone.  When I asked him what was wrong, he was sad and angry cause an older girl told him he couldn't play.  We talked about how he could go to the teachers and he can even ask for me.  This made him feel better cause it gave him recourse.  Anyway, in a Montessori school, I think they will be sensitive to this.  I am afraid in reg preschool, he would spend a lot of time in Time-out cause they would think he is just being stubborn.

Side note, I made it CLEAR that on no uncertain terms is my child to stand in the corner like that ever again.  The response I got was that he was wasn't crying.  I further EXPLAINED that as much as I like to get my work out in, my kids are my 1st prirority and standing in the corner for 1.5 hours is NOT acceptable.  They are to come and get me.  I was livid, but the kiddos were there, so I smiled and left.

*** Just a reminder, you need to log in to see secured posts.  Email me if you need to be set up.

*** Night!

We finally heard back from the Montessori school.  They don't give full scholarships, but we were awarded the highest amount they give for both Samantha and Kit! It will be a challenge, but with some cutting and creative financial management, we are going to make this work.  Today I called and accepted the offer.  By this afternoon, I got an email confirming that they sent us the contracts and emailed a flyer with summer playdates for the students.  This is going to be an awesome, awesome thing for my kids.  I am so totally over the moon!

Well the visit is over!  YEAY!  Altho it took a few days for us to get life back to normal.  Ben and I kept expecting MIL to come downstairs or in the room at any moment.  She was not one big on boundaries.  When ever we would go off for a moment to try to talk, like when either of us came home from work, she would always come in and start talking over us. 

I must preface this post by saying, as usual, her last few days were pleasant.  She actually is pretty good company when she acts human.  She was even sensitive one night to the fact that Ben had worked a long shift (the day of the I-phone launch) and she went to bed so he could unwind after his 16 hour day.  AMAZING!  If she could only not be Hell-on-Earth for the first 10 days, we would be golden.  But, by the time she acts like a relatively normal human being, we are fried.

Here are just a few of the highlights.  Trust me, I'd have a novel if I went all out and I am way to tired for that...

Things a Grandmother just shouldn't do:

1.  Complain that kids are noisy.  (To this Ben did reply that if she wasn't happy that he'd get her a return ticket for tomorrow!  Yeay Ben!)

2.  Make fun of how their 3 year old grandson speaks.

3.  Talk over the children when they were speaking first.

4.  Take the only blanket when both they and their granddaughter are cold - especially when it is their granddaughter's blanket.

5.  Not make a fuss over any of the kids when seeing them for the first time after a year.  I mean like not even really hug them or tell them how big they got.  Even when she saw the baby, who she last saw when she was 2 months - nothing.

6.  Complain when the kids were getting sunscreen put on and hats for an outside outing.  Even having the gall to ask why they get hats and she doesn't.  I did reply, "Um cause Sam had 2nd degree burns on 30% of her body and you did not."  Still didn't get it.

Things that make bad house-guest:

1.  Never giving the married couple any privacy.

2.  Sitting outside the bathroom door to take your shower when another adult is using it.

3.  Refusing to be ready when the mother needs to leave to take the kids to camp and then complaining of being bored cause you were left behind.

4.  Monopolizing the TV at night for 15 days with reruns of CSI - never giving anyone a chance to watch anything else.  Thus, relegating the mother to the basement to watch some decent TV - esp after a long night of waiting tables.

5.  Falling asleep while monopolizing the TV and refusing to go up to bed, even when told to by her son.

6.  Being told that the husband and wife were going to have a late meal together (at 11PM) ALONE and that she should go upstairs.  After agreeing, still not and having to be told 2 more times.

Things that should never be done by a house-guest:

1.  Praise their daughter (my SIL) endlessly with such nonsense as, "It is so hard for Gxxxxx cause she is SOOOOOOOOO beautiful, I mean SOOOOOOO beautiful.  People just don't see her for her mind.  It is a curse being SOOOOOOOO beautiful...." when it is known that above mentioned daughter (my SIL) racked up an 800+ calling card bill on our acct.  We did not know until AT&T called us and shut off our card.  THEN she screwed us by not paying it.  Needless to say, her praises were not wanted or well received.

2.  Come to stay with us, in the same house we have had for 6 years, knowing we have children, and then complain when we made a private bedroom out of our nicely finished basement.  Stairs apparently were an issue cause her bad back - altho being that we were in the same house, the stairs haven't changed.  It is the same amount of stairs from the 1st floor the the basement as it is from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor.  So, she tells Ben that she thinks it is best to stay at a hotel and that she has the cash.  So, I called around and finally got a great price for a nice hotel of 50 a night (weekly rate cause it would be 13 days).  When Ben told her the price, she gasped and said all she could afford was 200 total.  And then strongly hinted we should pay!  Now understand, this woman goes on vacation 2-4 times a year.  She just got back from 2 months in Australia.  So I ask, where in the freaking world can you stay 13 nights for $200????????  I was so totally beyond galled!

Being a I am a silver lining gal, I must give snaps cause by the end, she was very generous with giving us cash to help with groceries, paid for a day out to an amusement place and a few trips to McD's.  And she even helped a few times with cleaning up the kitchen.  AND she started spending time with the kids doing stuff.  Again tho, this was at the end.  It was like a diff person by the end.  I actually liked the person the last few days.  Crazy, eh?  The prob is that if she comes back, I know I would have to go thru of 10 days of torture before possibly getting to the nice personality.  Hey, maybe it is multiple personality disorder????

So we are now done for another year.  YEAY us!

Apprarently MIL was complaining to Ben about the kids.  (Very granmotherly, right?)  He flat out told her that we are a family.  When you come and stay with us, you do family things.  This is our life.  If it is a problem, we can call the airline to move her return ticket to a closer date.  He was sure that wouldn't be a problem.  

MIL stopped complaining.  Damn.

***** More specifics coming soon.  So many to blog about, so little time....  But, I am doing better so thank you!  AND I have had lots o sex with Ben since she has arrived.  Apparently adversity is a turn on for us, lol.  What doesn't kill us makes us stronger or in our case, more aroused...  We have been hiding in the bedroom a lot, hmmmm..... ************

Sam and I just got back from our weekend at Womongathering.  We were up in very rural PA near the NY border.  It is a sleep away camp during the height of the summer, but is used every summer for the festival.  What is Womongathering?  It is a spiritual festival just for women and girls.  This was the year of Fire and the Mother. 

Sam and I slept in our own cabin.  The bed was just awful and the cabin very rustic - but hey, that is what camping in a cabin is all about!  We hiked all over the place.  It was so serene to be in the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere.  There was a beautiful lake that we went swimming in.  We weren't supposed to, but hey, once a rule breaker - always a rule breaker.  Can I tell you, it was just LOVELY!

There were many classes to take and there was a place just for the girls where they could take there own classes.    Being both Sam and I were newcomers, I stayed with her much of the time at the Gyrlspace.  Besides, they made really cool crafts!  The women who ran gyrlspace liked me and said I could work there next summer for the festival!  I was all about the WOO HOO!  I enjoy the kids and it would cut the cost in half. 

In addition the the classes, Sam started the "Save the Caterpillar" campaign.  There were many flies and caterpillars about that apparently were at war.  The girls made a habitat for the caterpillars and then found some to put in there.  After gyrlspace was closed for the day, the girls took turns caring for the habitat.  After 3 days of this, I was shocked when I went to load up the car to find a chrysalis in our car!  I was able to un-attach it from the seat and it was still intact and alive.  It was a magical moment.  I mean, the girls were putting out there in the universe to save the caterpillars and there we were with a chrysalis.  Their intent was loud and clear.

The one class I took was an art class.  It started by a guided meditation.  We then took what we saw in our meditation, and painted in silence to soft music.  It was wonderful.  The imagery I got was so clear and strong.  I was actually able to kind of get it looking right on paper.  I think it was the first time I got to create in silence for a long period of time in YEARS!

I don't even think I can describe the energy of so many women and girls in one place.  It was just amazing and such a safe space.  It felt like a real community.  I am sure that villages long ago were of many women like that while the men went off and hunted.  At one point, I lost my wallet.  I started to freak out.  There was no cell reception and my calling card was in there.  I felt like all links to Ben, Kit and Susanna were gone and I panicked in a bad way.  I thought it was stolen cause I had left my backpack on the table.  With in seconds, many women, strangers, were over to help me.  A friend of mine said she'd watch Sam while the others took me to the communications booth to see if it was there.  I was sure it was gone.  When we got to commutations, there it was.  NOTHING was missing.  I was so shocked and surprised - in a good way.  Later that day when we were hiking in the woods, two young girls came up to us and asked if we lost money.   They had found 16 dollars along the trail.  We had not lost any dollars.  They then went off to hand it in at communications.  Again, I was speechless.  It truly was a safe space.  How often do you see honesty like that?

There were also vendors there that were set up in an outside market place.  A plethora of candles, pottery, art, clothes and more was there.  I was very good and trust me, it wasn't easy, lol.

More than anything, the time spend one-on-one with Sam was wonderful.  I love my daughter cause I love her.  She is my kid.  But, what I also found, is that I really LIKE her.  She is fun to spend time with.  I would like her if she wasn't my kid and I just met her.  There was a very different dynamic without the rest of the family.  She is very funny and very smart.  We will most certainly be going again next year.  We both are already looking forward to it!  Altho I must admit, I missed Ben, Kit and Sus sooooo much!  During the day when we were busy, it wasn't too bad.  It was at night, as I tried to fall asleep when I longed for them.

Now I will have to come up with other one-on-one ideas for Kit and Sus too.  LOL. 

The only down side was coming home and finding out that LB, my friend's daughter had been admitted to the hospital.  She has since been allowed home and is doing better - but many prayers are still being sent to their family.

On the way in to work, I saw a nasty car accident.  I noticed one of the drivers was pregnant and had a child in the back.  So after calling 911 for the police and ambulance, I got out and checked her and her daughter.  (I am CPR and First Aid cert.)  I stayed with them til the police got there.  The kid was fine but scared.  The mom seemed fine, but adrenaline can mask things and being she was pg.  Once I got to work, I kept thinking about them hoping all was OK.  I didn't know them so I didn't have to stop - but how could I not stop...

So into work I go and there she was.... AGAIN... The Evil One.  She has been around a lot lately.  She started off by telling me off for not wiping down the tables the night before, which BTW, I only did about 7 times before leaving.  AND... for not putting the salts and peppers on the table correctly.  ????  I guess I am not as smart as I think I am???  But, I ate crow and said sorry.  I always say, "Pick and choose your battles..."

Needless to say, once again, it was walk on egg shells cause the woman takes issue with everything.  It is like you are fucked no matter what you do.  Granted, she is evil to everyone - but apparently she has a extra special hatred just for me.  (Maybe strong confident women scare her?)  The icing on the cake, was when I stayed 30 mins after I was off the clock and no longer making dollars, to help another server who was in the weeds.  She snatched a drink out of my hand and yelled at me to leave.  Bad Wendy.  Bad Wendy.  How dare I stay and help!  I swear one of my regular's jaw just about hit the floor.

I do believe what comes around goes around.  I just hope I am there to see when she is beaten down by a horde of wild bulls blazing thru Blairstown.  Good money or not - I may just have to tell her where to shove it and then refine our monthly budget... we don't really need to eat, right?  LOL.

You're a Gryffinclaw!: You are a determined and intelligent person who is used to getting your own way all the time. You are very passionate about your beliefs and will defend them until your last breath. Often Griffenclaws work as lawyers or activists because they have feel so strongly about a certain subject. You feel that knowledge is to be used in a practical way and you often have a very low tolerance for people you consider of low intelligence. Although you aren't a social butterfly, you don't have trouble making fiends, people are usually drawn to you. Your weakness is that sometimes you can be insensitive, you're too busy being witty that you don't realize that you're hurting peoples' feelings, often your friends. With the wit of a Ravenclaw and the passion of a Gryffindor you can face all your battles in life head on!


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